Intimacy: Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would...

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By IbetIgotAIDS - 12/09/2011 16:15 - United States

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95 807

You deserved it 15 284

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Same thing different taste

By ekaay - 16/01/2018 15:00

Today, whilst cleaning the living room, I heard snickering coming from my bedroom. My two nephews had found my "play cupboard" and were blowing up condoms like balloons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 055

You deserved it 1 006

By frustrated - 17/08/2013 22:56 - Ireland - Killarney

Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 166

You deserved it 7 412

By the_lonely_life - 27/06/2013 01:02 - United States

Today, I cleaned up my brother's room, since he's moved out. Under the bed I found a Doritos bag full of used condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 182

You deserved it 7 051

By kahemae44 - 27/10/2009 10:20 - United States

Today, I visited my boyfriend's house excited about the romantic night he promised me. As time passed, we started making out and heading up to his room. Rose petals and candles filled his room. "How romantic", I thought. That is, until we saw his 5 year old sister blowing up condom balloons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 423

You deserved it 5 567

TMI FML

By eugh - 07/05/2021 14:01 - United States - Midlothian

Today, I discovered the brand of condoms my parents use. It was in the same grocery bag as my food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 584

By Anonymous - 13/02/2014 15:47 - United States - Kennett

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 525

You deserved it 53 121

By ADickySituation - 05/05/2013 04:14 - United States - Wilmette

Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 887

You deserved it 4 939

Gross

By Anonymous - 02/03/2017 17:00 - Canada - Elora

Today, I was cleaning my older brother's room in my mom's house after he had just moved out with his girlfriend. I guess I was multitasking a little too much and not paying too much attention to what I was doing and I realized 15 seconds later, I was holding a used condom in my right hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 552

You deserved it 1 623

They grow up so fast these days…

By Anonymous - 11/07/2022 06:00

Today, my 5 year-old and I walked in on a girl giving her boyfriend a blow job in the washroom at the playground. Last week we found a crack pipe on the picnic table. So many conversations I wish we could have waited for… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 269

You deserved it 170

By myself - 20/09/2012 07:00 - United States - Seaside

Today, my 2-year-old told me he found a new finger puppet. It was a used condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 464

You deserved it 31 253

omegaxen 0

Monday 12 September 2011 22:57

That blows!

Hockey_fan 0

Monday 12 September 2011 23:00

Well that really sucks" That really "Dampened" your spirits That "blows" Well..we all seen it "Coming" ...I'm sorry

Comments

swimming26 1

Tuesday 13 September 2011 4:32

May I ask y wud u blow up "soggy balloons tht u found on the ground"?

tammy0312 6

Tuesday 13 September 2011 4:42

Ewwwwww!!!!! Lmfao! No doubt You totally deserve it!

pegasus187 9

Tuesday 13 September 2011 4:44

Yuck!

lulzmylife 4

Tuesday 13 September 2011 4:49

OMG, I think I just threw up in my mouth.

scampi08 0

Tuesday 13 September 2011 4:52

Ewwwww hope you didn't catch an STD. That's just groddy. I wanted to puke after reading that.

ZielZone 4

Tuesday 13 September 2011 4:59

WTF?? Were you're parents related to each other??? What an idiot....

xJebu 8

Tuesday 13 September 2011 5:01

Holy I can't stop laughing!!

KingZant 0

Tuesday 13 September 2011 5:20

Jeez OP, I actually cringed at the thought of that. That sucks man, just pray you didn't get anything from it.

RandomB 0

Tuesday 13 September 2011 5:24

Oh that so sucks

NcredibadTay 0

Tuesday 13 September 2011 5:24

Nice name! Lol and ewww soggy :o

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The Top

Today, I had a date with a guy I've had a crush on for months. Not knowing where the date would take us, I shaved my pubic hair. Later, in the middle of making out with the guy, my dad storms into the room to tell me, "I had to get some Draino, your pubes clogged the shower." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 209

You deserved it 1 251

Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 264

You deserved it 10 116

The Top

Today, I went to egg my ex-boyfriend's house, after finding out he cheated on me. I covered his house and car with eggs, toilet paper, and silly string. When I went to get back in my car, my keys were locked inside, the alarm went off, and my ex walked outside, with his new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 848

You deserved it 56 804

Today, I was on a nature hike and had to use the bushes as a restroom. In doing so I stepped on an ant hill and ended up with my shorts around my ankles, dancing the Twist to fend off the ants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 543

You deserved it 199

Today, I learned that is it possible to be constipated and have diarrhea at the same time. You run to the toilet every half-hour, but almost nothing comes out and you feel so bloated you could burst, while eating almost nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 380

You deserved it 143

Today, I had to listen to my mother painstakingly spell out to me why broken glass is extremely dangerous. Feeling insulted, I jokingly asked her if she thought I was "retarded". I then got yelled at for "swearing." I'm a fucking adult, but my overprotective and condescending mother seems to think otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 498

Today, I had to sleep in the same room as my grandparents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so I pretended to be to avoid getting scolded for staying up. Turns out they were checking so that they could make love. I witnessed two 70-year-olds have sex in the bed next to me for 20 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 969

You deserved it 517

Today, my job announced we will be working mandatory 7 days a week for the next 6 weeks, maybe longer. There goes my summer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 892

You deserved it 123

Same thing different taste

TMI FML

Gross

They grow up so fast these days…

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