Miscellaneous: Today, I realized that the shorts I have been wearing all day...

By JuicyJohn - 09/09/2009 01:33 - United States

Today, I realized that the shorts I have been wearing all day say "Juicy" on the ass. My name is John. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 379

You deserved it 53 693

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Same thing different taste

Five bucks

By DreamZ - 24/05/2024 20:00 - Canada

Today, I walked into work feeling confident in my new outfit. It wasn’t until lunchtime that a colleague pointed out the price tag hanging from my skirt. I’d been flaunting my ass's price all morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 196

You deserved it 351

By Anonymous - 29/06/2009 17:55 - Canada

Today, I put on my "fat jeans" because none of my other jeans fit. Neither do my fat jeans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 897

You deserved it 46 648

By oops - 11/05/2015 16:40 - United States - Lutherville Timonium

Today, I wore a pair of shorts a size too big while doing laundry. When I ordered a pizza afterwards and answered the door, I realized I looked a little heavy, so I sucked in my stomach. My shorts fell to the ground in front of the delivery guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 484

You deserved it 9 896

By Anonymous - 22/07/2016 17:19 - United States - Washington

Today, I had to deal with yet another day of people looking at my name tag and saying "You know nothing, John Snow." with a shit-eating grin, like they're the wittiest people alive. Then I had to deal with my boss telling me to lighten up, because it's "just a joke". FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 784

You deserved it 1 858

By Anonymous - 14/10/2009 03:25 - France

Today, I was so bored, I sewed my name into my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 578

You deserved it 13 892

By deucelututi - 31/05/2009 12:03 - United States

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 193

You deserved it 81 198

By thefoolwhorippedhispants - 20/04/2018 01:30

Today, I came home from work to realize I had a massive rip in my shorts from my crotch to my crack. I have to lean over constantly in front of dozens of people at my job. Not one person said anything, but now I know why they were chuckling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 333

You deserved it 430

By FML - 30/08/2009 14:15 - United States

Today, I had to buy another pair of "fat jeans", because my old "fat jeans" became my new "skinny jeans." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 294

You deserved it 58 971

By Tomtom - 17/11/2008 05:04 - France

Today, I put on the same jeans that I had left in a bundle in my bedroom the day before. A few hours later, my boxer shorts decided to make their spectacular reappearance trick at the bottom of my leg in the middle of one of my meetings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 089

You deserved it 11 613

By xkellybabyyx - 25/11/2009 01:05 - United States

Today, I was walking through the streets with my best friend, feeling confident in my new skinny jeans. My friend said, "you really should be wearing a thong with those pants, your underwear line is showing". I was wearing a thong, those lines were just my fat rolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 906

You deserved it 40 664

lolzRaptor 1

Wednesday 9 September 2009 9:29

Nice to meet you, Juicy.

redbluegreen 40

Wednesday 9 September 2009 9:33

Well, what else is your ass gonna say?

Comments

VampiressMiharu 0

Thursday 10 September 2009 1:12

Hello, John. You really have an awkward way of introducing yourself to the internet.

joy_nash 7

Thursday 10 September 2009 1:14

LOL duuude, xD I'd have laughed so hard

themachinist 0

Thursday 10 September 2009 1:21

that'll teach you to wear your girlfriend's clothes. douchebag.

333chiyoko333 0

Thursday 10 September 2009 2:27

if that doesnt make you look gay I dont know what does. sorry.

dave202 0

Thursday 10 September 2009 2:31

This is dumb. Shorts that says Juicy on them are like 5 inches long and pink, so you definitely would have noticed, unless thats what you usually wear, but then I don't think you would care that your shorts say juicy

crzygrl90218 0

Thursday 10 September 2009 2:48

ROFL haha I am soooi sorry

xSceneSceneBabyx 0

Thursday 10 September 2009 4:05

hey, if you ever decide to become a male stripper, at least you know your nickname!

poopymonsters 0

Thursday 10 September 2009 6:14

juicy= diarrhea after doing a backflip over a braindead camel in the parking lot of an out of business carls jr. in indonesia!

Ultraviolet_fml 0

Thursday 10 September 2009 7:02

LMAOOOOO

BalenciagaBetch9 0

Thursday 10 September 2009 7:31

juicy john. its kind of catchy... i like it.

Keywords

Love My ex Awkward Jealousy Friends AITA Embarrassing Health Poopoo peepee Sports Proposal Snow Cold weather Annoying Cheating Money Relatable Work DIY Parenting Kids Accident Parents ADHD Medication Weather Miscellaneous Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird

The Top

Today, during an episode of King of Queens that my boyfriend has seen more than once, I decided I'd try to get a little frisky. I straddled him while he was on the bed and began taking my clothes of. He pushed me out of the way and said, "Don't get naked in front of the TV." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 745

You deserved it 4 498

Today, my husband decided to flash me while I was on a video call, so my clients announced they would only work with professionals, and ended the call. I was giving a virtual showing of a £1.2 million house they were thinking of buying. At 6% commission, my husband's junk just cost us £72,000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 406

You deserved it 276

The Top

Today, I no longer have a toaster. My younger sister put it in the bath because apparently it looked dirty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 771

You deserved it 370

Today, my self-esteem has gotten so low that when I was out walking my boss's dog and someone called out, "Beautiful!" I assumed they were talking about the dog. They had to clarify they were speaking about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 939

You deserved it 169

Today, I drove in heavy rain for the first time, by myself. I had been told to drive below the speed limit, and be extra careful of the cars around me. Nobody had told me about thunder scaring a cow that would then escape from the corral and hit my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 731

You deserved it 1 805

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I cancelled our date tonight. I cancelled because I had a seizure and was taken to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 023

You deserved it 3 670

Today, I got a text from a female friend saying, "So bored, come over, let's fuck.” Knowing her sense of humor, I laughed it off and sarcastically replied, "On my way!” About an hour later, I got a message from her husband asking what was taking me so long. They really wanted a threesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 045

You deserved it 518

Today, my boss insisted that we get in the holiday mood by putting up lights, playing Christmas music, and wearing bells on our uniforms. It's not even Thanksgiving yet and I can't even have a tinkle without full-blown jingling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 932

You deserved it 2 736

Same thing different taste

Five bucks

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