Miscellaneous: Today, I realized that the shorts I have been wearing all day... - FML

By JuicyJohn - 09/09/2009 01:33 - United States

Today, I realized that the shorts I have been wearing all day say "Juicy" on the ass. My name is John. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 379

You deserved it 53 693

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Five bucks

By DreamZ - 24/05/2024 20:00 - Canada

Today, I walked into work feeling confident in my new outfit. It wasn’t until lunchtime that a colleague pointed out the price tag hanging from my skirt. I’d been flaunting my ass's price all morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 196

You deserved it 351

By Anonymous - 29/06/2009 17:55 - Canada

Today, I put on my "fat jeans" because none of my other jeans fit. Neither do my fat jeans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 897

You deserved it 46 648

By oops - 11/05/2015 16:40 - United States - Lutherville Timonium

Today, I wore a pair of shorts a size too big while doing laundry. When I ordered a pizza afterwards and answered the door, I realized I looked a little heavy, so I sucked in my stomach. My shorts fell to the ground in front of the delivery guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 484

You deserved it 9 896

By Anonymous - 22/07/2016 17:19 - United States - Washington

Today, I had to deal with yet another day of people looking at my name tag and saying "You know nothing, John Snow." with a shit-eating grin, like they're the wittiest people alive. Then I had to deal with my boss telling me to lighten up, because it's "just a joke". FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 784

You deserved it 1 858

By Anonymous - 14/10/2009 03:25 - France

Today, I was so bored, I sewed my name into my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 578

You deserved it 13 892

By deucelututi - 31/05/2009 12:03 - United States

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 193

You deserved it 81 198

By thefoolwhorippedhispants - 20/04/2018 01:30

Today, I came home from work to realize I had a massive rip in my shorts from my crotch to my crack. I have to lean over constantly in front of dozens of people at my job. Not one person said anything, but now I know why they were chuckling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 333

You deserved it 430

By FML - 30/08/2009 14:15 - United States

Today, I had to buy another pair of "fat jeans", because my old "fat jeans" became my new "skinny jeans." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 294

You deserved it 58 971

By Tomtom - 17/11/2008 05:04 - France

Today, I put on the same jeans that I had left in a bundle in my bedroom the day before. A few hours later, my boxer shorts decided to make their spectacular reappearance trick at the bottom of my leg in the middle of one of my meetings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 089

You deserved it 11 613

By xkellybabyyx - 25/11/2009 01:05 - United States

Today, I was walking through the streets with my best friend, feeling confident in my new skinny jeans. My friend said, "you really should be wearing a thong with those pants, your underwear line is showing". I was wearing a thong, those lines were just my fat rolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 906

You deserved it 40 664

Next

Top comments

lolzRaptor 1

Wednesday 9 September 2009 9:29

Nice to meet you, Juicy.

redbluegreen 40

Wednesday 9 September 2009 9:33

Well, what else is your ass gonna say?

Comments

gargoyle666 5

Wednesday 9 September 2009 15:49

Just tell people you'd had a bad curry the night before.

boone_fml 0

Wednesday 9 September 2009 16:27

I think I'm going to get some of these shorts. My ass is spectacular.

Dutchie2010 0

Wednesday 9 September 2009 16:45

YDI for wearing Juicy Couture pants. Juicy

eeekimjack 0

Wednesday 9 September 2009 16:46

Win jm

bffa1234 0

Wednesday 9 September 2009 16:48

And you own those shorts whyy?

AnnannA4 0

Wednesday 9 September 2009 17:03

lol JuicyJohn

LatinoHeat 0

Wednesday 9 September 2009 17:05

YDI for wearing Clay Aiken underwear.

AshleyRose784 0

Wednesday 9 September 2009 17:51

who's shorts did you borrow? I hope they're not yours

AmpulexCompressa 0

Wednesday 9 September 2009 17:55

Congratulations, John, you are an unintentional hipster.

SmittyJA24 26

Wednesday 9 September 2009 18:25

Did you buy these shorts yourself? OMG, men wearing "short" shorts went out a long time ago. MEN: Go watch video of the Larry Bird vs Magic Johnson. If your shorts look like this, BURN 'EM.

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

Keywords

My ex Awkward Love AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Health Sports Proposal Snow Cold weather Annoying Cheating Relatable Work Money DIY Parenting Kids Accident Parents Medication ADHD Weather Miscellaneous Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird

The Top

USA, USA, USA; well, almost. Today we're not welcoming a French artist, not even an American artist, but an artist from... oh, you'll see! Are you in a hurry or something? Why can't we just sit down, have a nice cup of tea and talk about the future? ...

I agree, your life sucks 10

You deserved it 15

Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 054

You deserved it 8 438

The Top

Today, I was set to meet my friends at a new, trendy café. I arrived early, eager to impress, but ended up walking into the wrong café and got stuck for an hour engaged in a disturbing conversation about serial killers with a total stranger who'd deludedly mistaken me for a long-lost friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 289

Today, my granny had the phone on loudspeaker, talking to a friend. When the conversation turned from the price of potatoes to ticks in hard-to-reach places, I fleed into the garden. First thing granny tells me once I’m back: The details of how that tick was all the way up in her friend’s husband’s crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 300

You deserved it 147

Today, I came home from work to find my computer smashed into a hundred pieces. My dad threw it at my mom because they were having a fight and my computer was the closest thing to throw. He refuses to fix it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 943

You deserved it 3 188

Today, my wife surprised me with a blow job. Turns out it was a punishment for not doing the washing, as she did it with Chilli powder in her mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 234

You deserved it 348

Today, I tried to act nonchalant in front of my neighbors, and swing my lanyard around with my keys on it. It flew off my finger and into their yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 249

You deserved it 38 992

Today, I went on a blind date. At the end of the night, I told him I had a surprisingly great time. He replied, "Yeah, that was fun. You're really funny and smart. If you were pretty, I'd totally go out with you again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 201

You deserved it 5 343