Miscellaneous: Today, I remembered my mom got her carpet cleaned and to be careful...

By xMiSS_CuTiEx - 27/12/2009 22:25 - United States

Today, I remembered my mom got her carpet cleaned and to be careful while she was at work. To be nice, I vacuumed the whole house. Feeling proud of myself, I got a drink and went upstairs. I tripped and spilled red Kool-Aid all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 107

You deserved it 14 369

Back to School: Quiproquos and Notebooks
Laugh at back-to-school mishaps, with dazed students and overwhelmed teachers! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By LilyL - 06/06/2010 21:53 - United States

Today, I spent hours cleaning the kitchen that my slob roommates always neglect. I scrubbed the floor, emptied the fridge, washed all the dishes, etc. When I was done, I was thirsty so I got myself a soda. I opened the can, and it exploded and sprayed everything I had just washed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 161

You deserved it 5 727

By ouch - 12/07/2013 07:22 - United States

Today, my mom got drunk and punched me in the nose, then yelled at me for bleeding on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 160

You deserved it 4 761

Funtime!

By kengu - 23/10/2011 21:02 - Norway

Today, I mopped all the floors in my house. When I was finally done, I accidentally knocked over an open bottle of soda. My cats took this as a perfect opportunity to chase each other around, step in the soda, and track sticky paw prints everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 634

You deserved it 7 130

By stairmaster - 05/04/2011 07:47

Today, while attempting to sneak out of my boyfriend's parents' house during my walk of shame, I fell down the stairs, spilling cherry coke all over myself, their walls, and the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 424

You deserved it 45 868

Freeze!

By Anonymous - 03/06/2024 06:00 - United States - Macon

Today, I was craving a cold Coke, so I grabbed one from the freezer where I had put it to chill quickly. As soon as I opened it, the can exploded all over me and the kitchen. I spent the next hour cleaning sticky residue off the floor, surrounding furniture, and even the ceiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 436

By tryandtryagain - 28/04/2011 04:04 - United Kingdom

Today, while waiting on tables at work, I was carrying a glass of red wine when I lost balance and spilt it everywhere. After cleaning the floor and myself up and after refilling a new glass, I did exactly the same thing again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 479

You deserved it 29 790

Pissed

By Sally - 24/08/2018 22:00

Today, after cleaning my house, I decided to treat myself with a glass of wine. I poured the wine, set it down, and came back just in time to see my cat push it off the table. I then yelled at her, which scared her so much she pissed on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 623

You deserved it 863

Rebel stuff

By Anonymous - 23/05/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom - Tamworth

Today, while working in my shop, I was mopping the floor. A customer saw what I was doing, grabbed a bottle of Coca-Cola from the shelf, and poured it all over the floor where I had just finished mopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 625

You deserved it 75

By zazzleface - 09/04/2012 12:23 - United States - Bergenfield

Today, my mom was in the kitchen when her shirt caught on fire. Acting quickly, I poured my glass of water on her. Instead of thanking me, she yelled at me for making a mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 284

You deserved it 2 374

By Anonymous - 21/05/2014 16:05 - United States - New York

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 858

You deserved it 4 373

TheLoneWolf87 4

Monday 28 December 2009 1:34

OH YEEEAH!!!!!

snafu57 1

Monday 28 December 2009 3:08

you should have remembered the first rule of fml, which is: "No good deed goes unpunished." Or maybe it's the second or third rule. I forget.

Comments

GreatGeak 8

Friday 19 November 2010 8:01

I so felt that man. you try hard and then do something to fail..story of my life.

stevenmx86 7

Sunday 18 September 2011 23:34

Ydi for feeling proud because you baa vacuumed...

Skyrim123 3

Sunday 19 February 2012 4:54

You are skrewed

FRB 8

Monday 17 June 2013 10:11

Oh man , such a fail

RLG4 20

Monday 26 May 2014 19:57

YDI for drinking kool-aid. That stuff is awful for you.

733yoda_fml 19

Thursday 4 June 2015 1:50

Ydi. Water is better than koolaid

EmDizzle2007 28

Thursday 25 April 2019 22:19

random brought me here.

Keywords

Love Break-ups Technology Geek Animals Cute Cats Work Family Facebook Grandparents Social Media Miscellaneous Music Relatable Money Scams Food Birthday Awkward Relationship advice Photography School Health Acting Parents Lonely Growing old Games Cheating

The Top

Today, for the millionth time, my mother grounded me for “giving her a dirty look.” I can't see my own face, and I was actually in a good mood at the time. Whenever I accidentally give someone a dirty look, it always comes as a complete surprise, and my mother refuses to believe this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 919

You deserved it 98

Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to "Listen to this voicemail." I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty, followed by the bed springs bouncing for three minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 822

You deserved it 42 617

The Top

Today, my wife screamed and threatened to leave me… again. She does this about once a year, in response to an argument that she feels frustrated by. We have three amazing children and we're mostly happy in between these outbursts. Today she did it in front of our 6 year-old, who is now crying about our family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 626

You deserved it 140

Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the point that our dog likes me better than him. To this, my dog jumped onto the sofa, turned to me and vomited on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 060

You deserved it 8 505

Today, I made myself a hot pocket for lunch. I managed to scald myself on the red-hot cheese, and at the same time bite into the center, which was somehow still frozen solid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 061

You deserved it 7 158

Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 693

You deserved it 10 343

Today, I was taking a piss at a urinal when a fly started harassing me. I got so annoyed, I tried to swat it. Didn't go too well. I ended up losing control of my stream, soaking the guy beside me. He busted my face in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 644

You deserved it 26 664

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend, whom I'm madly in love with, by having a plane fly over her house spelling "Marry me Abby?" After seeing it, she locked herself in her room and cried for hours, exclaiming that this wasn't how she wanted to be proposed to. I'd invited my entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105 135

You deserved it 11 748