Intimacy: Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

By pops up - 01/12/2011 22:25 - United States

Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 365

You deserved it 10 645

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Same thing different taste

By hotmommy - 20/12/2010 00:23

Today, I went to the mall with my daughter. She asked me if she could go see Santa, so I said yes. She made me sit on his lap with her, and that's when I felt something on my bum. Let's just say Santa had a present for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 240

You deserved it 6 631

By moopymoplady - 29/11/2011 00:44 - Canada

Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 279

You deserved it 5 629

By perenoel - 03/12/2011 16:24 - France

Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 010

You deserved it 6 151

By Santa - 12/12/2011 21:45 - Canada

Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 054

You deserved it 4 410

By Loola - 21/12/2008 05:04 - France

Today, Father Christmas touched my ass in a shopping mall. I'm a bit worried about what's going to happen on Christmas Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 905

You deserved it 2 543

By Anonymous - 15/12/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, a man dressed as Santa Claus walked by me, grabbing my butt. He smelled of pipe tobacco and pee. He pulled me close to him and whispered, "I bet you're naughty but you feel so nice." I looked dumbfounded at him as he winked and yelled, "You're on my list." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 606

You deserved it 4 345

By HOe HOe HOe - 02/11/2011 02:36 - United States

Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 089

You deserved it 16 270

By lonewolf2701 - 22/11/2009 09:15 - United States

Today, my manager sent me a text message with a picture of Santa masturbating, with a message that said he wished me a white Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 558

You deserved it 4 276

By tishihish - 12/12/2011 05:15 - United States

Today, I walked into the Macy's bathroom to find Santa taking a dump with the door open. Merry Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 933

You deserved it 2 820

By unknown - 17/12/2012 11:37 - Canada

Today, I brought my 6-year-old to the mall to sit on Santa's lap. She told him what she wanted and smiled for the picture. When the lady told her that her turn was over, she began throwing a fit, pulling off Santa's beard in the process. This caused all the kids in line to begin sobbing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 501

You deserved it 6 880

phatdaddy62 23

Friday 2 December 2011 9:11

Welcome to the "North Pole!"

koala7_fml 2

Friday 2 December 2011 9:07

Merry Christmas!

Comments

thursday817 6

Tuesday 6 December 2011 4:31

Looks like your getting a little more than you bargained for this christmas...

XxBu113txX 6

Tuesday 6 December 2011 5:02

I guess that means your on the naughty list!

lilpowers 3

Tuesday 6 December 2011 7:39

You sexy thing! :D

Shampoo97 1

Wednesday 7 December 2011 6:47

you must be REALLY pretty :-) assuming your a girl...

Hooey111 0

Wednesday 7 December 2011 7:43

U must be really pretty then

brennanharvey 1

Thursday 8 December 2011 0:47

Did u talk about the first thing that popped up lol?

countrygirl1616 2

Thursday 8 December 2011 8:42

Omg! I'm afraid of santas because one grabbed my but when I was little lol

ifrigginheartyou 8

Friday 9 December 2011 0:44

Id tap that(;

shots1996 8

Friday 9 December 2011 2:54

Looks like he brought the north pole with him

himynameis0 0

Friday 9 December 2011 4:46

I bet the feelings are mutual

Keywords

Love Surprise Cute Awkward My ex Texting Wanker Sex Intimacy Health Insomnia Mental health Sleep Food Cooking Parents Weekend Kids Miscellaneous Pranks Annoying Embarrassing Work Technology Coworkers Zoom Argument Roommate Animals Pizza

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I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 85

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I agree, your life sucks 75 925

You deserved it 3 628

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You deserved it 597

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I agree, your life sucks 10 811

You deserved it 30 591

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I agree, your life sucks 32 004

You deserved it 2 399

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I agree, your life sucks 52 025

You deserved it 4 093

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I agree, your life sucks 25 690

You deserved it 12 512

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I agree, your life sucks 42 975

You deserved it 3 881

Same thing different taste

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