Intimacy: Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

By pops up - 01/12/2011 22:25 - United States

Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 385

You deserved it 10 654

Valentine's Day: Love and Maladresse
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Same thing different taste

By hotmommy - 20/12/2010 00:23

Today, I went to the mall with my daughter. She asked me if she could go see Santa, so I said yes. She made me sit on his lap with her, and that's when I felt something on my bum. Let's just say Santa had a present for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 252

You deserved it 6 637

By moopymoplady - 29/11/2011 00:44 - Canada

Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 281

You deserved it 5 630

By perenoel - 03/12/2011 16:24 - France

Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 027

You deserved it 6 155

By Santa - 12/12/2011 21:45 - Canada

Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 067

You deserved it 4 410

By Loola - 21/12/2008 05:04 - France

Today, Father Christmas touched my ass in a shopping mall. I'm a bit worried about what's going to happen on Christmas Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 910

You deserved it 2 543

By Anonymous - 15/12/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, a man dressed as Santa Claus walked by me, grabbing my butt. He smelled of pipe tobacco and pee. He pulled me close to him and whispered, "I bet you're naughty but you feel so nice." I looked dumbfounded at him as he winked and yelled, "You're on my list." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 617

You deserved it 4 351

By HOe HOe HOe - 02/11/2011 02:36 - United States

Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 095

You deserved it 16 275

By lonewolf2701 - 22/11/2009 09:15 - United States

Today, my manager sent me a text message with a picture of Santa masturbating, with a message that said he wished me a white Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 569

You deserved it 4 278

By tishihish - 12/12/2011 05:15 - United States

Today, I walked into the Macy's bathroom to find Santa taking a dump with the door open. Merry Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 936

You deserved it 2 821

By unknown - 17/12/2012 11:37 - Canada

Today, I brought my 6-year-old to the mall to sit on Santa's lap. She told him what she wanted and smiled for the picture. When the lady told her that her turn was over, she began throwing a fit, pulling off Santa's beard in the process. This caused all the kids in line to begin sobbing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 508

You deserved it 6 882

phatdaddy62 23

Friday 2 December 2011 9:11

Welcome to the "North Pole!"

koala7_fml 2

Friday 2 December 2011 9:07

Merry Christmas!

Comments

ryguy83 2

Sunday 4 December 2011 3:37

How bout you sit on my lap and we talk about the next thing that comes up

lemonsquid 6

Sunday 4 December 2011 3:39

Santas excited to see you.... Welcome to the North Pole ;)

gabbygrace24 0

Sunday 4 December 2011 3:50

Seems like he wanted some "ho ho hoes" for christmas

chrisinaz 0

Sunday 4 December 2011 4:28

lmfaooo that's great

blackman100 20

Sunday 4 December 2011 6:06

why would anyone posting on fml still be sitting on santas lap?

ManWhatsoever 6

Sunday 4 December 2011 6:19

Santa still a man, so what's wrong with that?! It's not like he can help it. BTW Santa's freak

your_face 15

Sunday 4 December 2011 6:44

I'm rooting for guy.

your_face 15

Sunday 4 December 2011 6:49

Imagine the mother of the next child writing in... "Today, I took my five-year-old to sit on Santa's lap. Just before my son sat down, I saw that Santa had an erection. FML"

skossits3033 0

Sunday 4 December 2011 7:05

YDI for sitting on Santa's lap when you're old enough to know what an erection is.

jeff1900 0

Sunday 4 December 2011 7:48

hahahaha that's awsome. pedo Santa

Keywords

Miscellaneous Sleep Awkward Love Weddings Television Money Relatable Snow Transportation Annoying Family Kids Pregnancy Mental health Empathy Toxic Food Animals Cats Argument Gamers Health Valentine's Day Gross Homeowners Home improvement Babysitter Drugs Music

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Same thing different taste

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