Intimacy: Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

By pops up - 01/12/2011 22:25 - United States

Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 365

You deserved it 10 645

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Same thing different taste

By hotmommy - 20/12/2010 00:23

Today, I went to the mall with my daughter. She asked me if she could go see Santa, so I said yes. She made me sit on his lap with her, and that's when I felt something on my bum. Let's just say Santa had a present for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 240

You deserved it 6 631

By moopymoplady - 29/11/2011 00:44 - Canada

Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 279

You deserved it 5 629

By perenoel - 03/12/2011 16:24 - France

Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 010

You deserved it 6 151

By Santa - 12/12/2011 21:45 - Canada

Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 054

You deserved it 4 410

By Loola - 21/12/2008 05:04 - France

Today, Father Christmas touched my ass in a shopping mall. I'm a bit worried about what's going to happen on Christmas Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 905

You deserved it 2 543

By Anonymous - 15/12/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, a man dressed as Santa Claus walked by me, grabbing my butt. He smelled of pipe tobacco and pee. He pulled me close to him and whispered, "I bet you're naughty but you feel so nice." I looked dumbfounded at him as he winked and yelled, "You're on my list." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 606

You deserved it 4 345

By HOe HOe HOe - 02/11/2011 02:36 - United States

Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 089

You deserved it 16 270

By lonewolf2701 - 22/11/2009 09:15 - United States

Today, my manager sent me a text message with a picture of Santa masturbating, with a message that said he wished me a white Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 558

You deserved it 4 276

By tishihish - 12/12/2011 05:15 - United States

Today, I walked into the Macy's bathroom to find Santa taking a dump with the door open. Merry Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 933

You deserved it 2 821

By unknown - 17/12/2012 11:37 - Canada

Today, I brought my 6-year-old to the mall to sit on Santa's lap. She told him what she wanted and smiled for the picture. When the lady told her that her turn was over, she began throwing a fit, pulling off Santa's beard in the process. This caused all the kids in line to begin sobbing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 501

You deserved it 6 880

phatdaddy62 23

Friday 2 December 2011 9:11

Welcome to the "North Pole!"

koala7_fml 2

Friday 2 December 2011 9:07

Merry Christmas!

Comments

ImAPanda313 0

Wednesday 11 January 2012 2:46

Looks like someone's been naughty ;)

danishbar 0

Monday 16 January 2012 7:58

He wants to stuff your stocking with his north pole

Beckkk30 5

Tuesday 24 January 2012 9:10

Haha I did the same thing, only... You realize you're too old to sit on his lap when he asks You "what would you like out of my sack?"

mrjason300 5

Tuesday 24 January 2012 22:37

A bit too old to sit on Santa maybe?

ajeppsen 25

Wednesday 22 February 2012 6:15

Sit down and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up

MrEscape 2

Friday 13 April 2012 20:37

Santa doesn't ask for much ;)

SkoomaKi 27

Tuesday 8 May 2012 21:09

You'll be getting a few extra presents ;)

killer6969 16

Tuesday 21 August 2012 4:13

little Santa down south wants his present :)

klipper57 12

Saturday 25 October 2014 5:07

Tell Santa you want 5,000 dollars or your gonna tell the world

Keywords

Annoying Education Confused University Love AITA Sex Divorce Awkward Relatable Dreams Miscellaneous Embarrassing Racism Work Weird Cute Pregnancy Kids Motherhood Animals Harassment Family Poopoo peepee Surprise Health Roommate Food Texting My ex

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Same thing different taste

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