Intimacy: Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

By pops up - 01/12/2011 22:25 - United States

Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 365

You deserved it 10 645

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Same thing different taste

By hotmommy - 20/12/2010 00:23

Today, I went to the mall with my daughter. She asked me if she could go see Santa, so I said yes. She made me sit on his lap with her, and that's when I felt something on my bum. Let's just say Santa had a present for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 240

You deserved it 6 631

By moopymoplady - 29/11/2011 00:44 - Canada

Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 279

You deserved it 5 629

By perenoel - 03/12/2011 16:24 - France

Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 010

You deserved it 6 151

By Santa - 12/12/2011 21:45 - Canada

Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 054

You deserved it 4 410

By Loola - 21/12/2008 05:04 - France

Today, Father Christmas touched my ass in a shopping mall. I'm a bit worried about what's going to happen on Christmas Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 905

You deserved it 2 543

By Anonymous - 15/12/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, a man dressed as Santa Claus walked by me, grabbing my butt. He smelled of pipe tobacco and pee. He pulled me close to him and whispered, "I bet you're naughty but you feel so nice." I looked dumbfounded at him as he winked and yelled, "You're on my list." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 606

You deserved it 4 345

By HOe HOe HOe - 02/11/2011 02:36 - United States

Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 089

You deserved it 16 270

By lonewolf2701 - 22/11/2009 09:15 - United States

Today, my manager sent me a text message with a picture of Santa masturbating, with a message that said he wished me a white Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 558

You deserved it 4 276

By tishihish - 12/12/2011 05:15 - United States

Today, I walked into the Macy's bathroom to find Santa taking a dump with the door open. Merry Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 933

You deserved it 2 820

By unknown - 17/12/2012 11:37 - Canada

Today, I brought my 6-year-old to the mall to sit on Santa's lap. She told him what she wanted and smiled for the picture. When the lady told her that her turn was over, she began throwing a fit, pulling off Santa's beard in the process. This caused all the kids in line to begin sobbing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 501

You deserved it 6 880

phatdaddy62 23

Friday 2 December 2011 9:11

Welcome to the "North Pole!"

koala7_fml 2

Friday 2 December 2011 9:07

Merry Christmas!

Comments

XxNINJA_28xX 8

Sunday 4 December 2011 12:04

yeyah3 2

Sunday 4 December 2011 21:32

Come sit on my lap and talk about the first thing that "pops up" ;)

sexy_lola21 0

Monday 5 December 2011 2:00

If you're old enough to know what an erection is then you're probably too old to be sitting on santas lap.

CJBaseball6 0

Monday 5 December 2011 4:24

Santa wants you for Christmas.

bella3911 6

Monday 5 December 2011 6:02

Looks like he was telling u what he wants for Christmas;)

lauralavenderbab 0

Monday 5 December 2011 8:30

Well mrs clays doesn't cut it anymore

madashell43 3

Monday 5 December 2011 17:20

So I guess for Santa it truly was a "Merry Christmas"

evaRed 0

Monday 5 December 2011 21:42

What were you wearing?!

teh_uber_muffin 3

Tuesday 6 December 2011 1:42

Such a tease... don't blame Santa for being manly...

shaniqualee 2

Tuesday 6 December 2011 4:28

One time that happened to me. I was 5 and I saw on Santa's lap and felt something hard protruding from his lap. I tried to adjust myself around it, but I accidentally slipped and it went inside me. Never had I felt such a rush! I started ride him faster and harder and faster and harder until all of sudden he was like, "Santa...Santa is...Santa is COMING!!" He dumped loads and loads inside of me and I was like awww yeah, I'm going to get an awesome present.