Miscellaneous: Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked...

By all puked out - 13/07/2014 21:14 - Netherlands

Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 791

You deserved it 4 339

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Same thing different taste

By justafriend - 28/05/2017 00:00

Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 254

You deserved it 382

By Anonymous - 19/08/2009 22:31 - Canada

Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend had said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth, and laughed before she passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 123

You deserved it 4 709

By alex - 14/03/2011 14:44 - United States

Today, my girlfriend asked me to hold her purse while shopping. All of a sudden, a robber punched me in the face and took her purse. She started crying about her purse and told me to get off the ground because I was embarrassing her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 793

You deserved it 10 074

Hey lady! Chill!

By Anonymous - 25/08/2011 21:17 - United States

Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 388

You deserved it 3 038

By whathehell - 27/04/2013 08:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 141

You deserved it 3 643

By cassidy_smith12 - 24/08/2013 14:55 - United States - Medina

Today, I was walking down the street when a man stole my purse. He then opened the purse, threw up in it, and gave it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 525

You deserved it 3 570

TW: gross

By Unimpressed - 03/06/2009 10:40 - Australia

Today, I was taking a taxi home after drinking too much. I started to feel sick and, not wanting to be charged the cab cleaning fee, threw up into my handbag instead. When we got to my place I then had to fish through my bag for my wallet to pay the driver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 518

You deserved it 58 983

By Anonymous - 08/08/2019 20:00 - United States

Today, my drunk sister threw up on me while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 662

You deserved it 102

By Chedder - 26/06/2009 23:36 - United States

Today, I tried to keep a drunk girl from driving by holding her keys, but she had a spare set in her purse. She hit me with her car when I was walking home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 012

You deserved it 3 506

Tasty

By Anonymous - 22/05/2020 20:00

Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 788

You deserved it 297

SheTheOtaku 21

Monday 14 July 2014 5:18

Did she offer to help you get clean at least? It's possible she was having a terrible day and accidentally aimed her anger at you.

604 11

Monday 14 July 2014 5:18

Quick! Buy a lottery ticket. I've heard that's good luck.

Comments

TwentyFourBeerz 18

Monday 14 July 2014 19:50

Drunk people are the best

llamaslikesoda 21

Monday 14 July 2014 19:52

OP, hope she offered to help you. But that story made my day to be honest haha

BigBubbaJ 13

Tuesday 15 July 2014 0:03

Trust no one, help no one.

ShortyJorty 9

Tuesday 15 July 2014 10:20

And that my friends is what tequila does to you...

bryanjamieluke 17

Tuesday 15 July 2014 23:12

Well, that says one thing about your character. A lot of people, sadly, would have seen the opportunity to steal the purse!

mattbaker 17

Wednesday 16 July 2014 18:38

Must be drunk .

abcluvsu 6

Friday 18 July 2014 6:40

That's gross but maybe she was just having a bad day.

Ibroughtuamento 10

Friday 18 July 2014 22:42

That entire FML was a roller-coaster from start to finish

jinxmaster 19

Tuesday 22 July 2014 4:44

She must be pregnant...

kaytlynsparks 5

Thursday 24 July 2014 4:47

I wish I could get that drunk....

Keywords

Embarrassing Love Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Bosses Capitalism Work Cars You're fired Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, my mom kicked me out of the house because I missed my curfew and overslept at my boyfriend’s house. She said she’d let me back in on one condition: that I was still a virgin. My boyfriend’s parents won’t let me live with him. I’m currently staying in the Walmart restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 315

Today, my roommate wanted me to try out a new bus route home, I knew it might take longer but she really wanted me to try, so I went with her. After waiting for ages at The Exchange bus stop for the last bus home, we missed it, and had to take an Uber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 174

The Top

Today, I came home to find my dog had learned how to open our fridge. He ate the birthday cake I was saving for a friend's surprise party, and to add insult to injury, he'd also apparently thrown the barely digested cake up all over my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 94

Today, I started a fight at a lesbian bar and lost. I'm a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 250

You deserved it 89 009

Today, everyone has been advised to stay home and self-quarantine due to the COVID19 outbreak. This would've been great and all, especially since I'm pregnant and need the bed rest, but I work as a doctor and we're understaffed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 063

You deserved it 194

Today, I was woken by my younger sister punching me in the balls. She also pulled the duvet off, and dragged me out of bed by my feet and onto the floor. All because I ate her chocolates, which were a gift. I was left writhing in pain in my underwear right in front of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 239

You deserved it 2 032

Today, I was feeling really good about going to the gym for the first time. That was until I got so worn out from my “warm up” on the treadmill that I had to go home and spew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 159

Today, I tried to get ready for a final. I had about six hours to study. My girlfriend decided to help by jabbering loudly in my ear about celebrity gossip, noisily cleaning the office and losing my notes, and getting in a screaming argument with her mom over the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 553

You deserved it 169

Same thing different taste

Hey lady! Chill!

TW: gross

Tasty

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