Transportation: Today, I saw a man dancing to a Britney Spears song in his Volkswagen...

By Anonymous - 06/10/2011 17:04 - United States

Today, I saw a man dancing to a Britney Spears song in his Volkswagen Beetle. I started laughing hysterically until he got out. He was huge. I was stuck in traffic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 675

You deserved it 36 012

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 22/10/2010 09:04 - Australia

Today, I was walking home down a small street while listening to my iPod. I really got into the music, and started to dance really badly, only to realise there was a car following me, trying to get past. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 226

You deserved it 31 691

By ktorih137 - 14/05/2013 11:32 - Canada - Halifax

Today, I was dancing in the passenger seat of my car with my family when a cop pulled us over. He thought I was trying to flag him down for help. I guess I'm not as good of a dancer as I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 504

You deserved it 13 508

FREEBIRD!

By Anonymous - 01/03/2023 18:00

Today, I was singing and drumming on the steering wheel in my car while stuck in traffic, only to realize the car next to me was full of my carpooling coworkers, all staring at me in disbelief. They spent the day at the office requesting songs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 725

You deserved it 215

By Anonymous - 01/02/2012 01:11 - United States

Today, while driving to work in heavy traffic, I got so into the song I was listening to that I tapped my foot on the gas to the beat. I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 728

You deserved it 48 510

By NoBalls - 12/06/2009 00:23 - United States

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 105 361

You deserved it 22 487

By WasteOfTime - 01/11/2009 14:36 - United Kingdom

Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 356

You deserved it 3 449

By Anonymous - 07/02/2015 09:09 - United States - Pueblo

Today, at work, a good song came on and I started dancing to it. I guess security thought my Michael Jackson crotch-grab was funny, because a printout of it is now pinned in our break room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 310

You deserved it 11 931

By HumanNature - 01/02/2009 00:01 - Canada

Today, I was waiting after work in a parking lot for my ride and was dancing a little to keep warm. Next thing I know the cops pull up to me and said that someone called in to report someone dancing in an empty parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 042

You deserved it 3 231

By mylifesucks - 10/07/2013 20:10 - United States - Ellijay

Today, I was walking down the street and saw a man trip over a sign. He then grabbed his cane, started screaming, and began beating the sign. Apparently that didn't release his anger, so he began to beat the nearest car. I thought it was hilarious, until I noticed it was my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 211

You deserved it 10 252

By whoneedsdumbcars - 14/08/2009 08:29 - United States

Today, at a restaurant, I noticed a really hot girl leaving with her friend. A few minutes later they came back, laughing uncontrollably, and announced that some moron forgot to put on their parking brake and the car was rolling into the full parking lot. It was my car. They watched me chase it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 390

You deserved it 39 728

Blacksxe 1

Thursday 6 October 2011 22:46

Say you are laughing because you just remembered a funny joke. If you're lucky you will live.

flamerocker 9

Thursday 6 October 2011 22:48

It was you?

Comments

stevenmx86 7

Friday 7 October 2011 0:01

You've got to have a brain the size of a pea if that made you laugh hysterically.. Dumb ass...

ShyAnn29 14

Friday 7 October 2011 0:02

I like Britney Spears too!

YayFlameWarz 9

Friday 7 October 2011 0:03

Moral of the story; Don't **** with Britney BITCH!

Broc831 6

Friday 7 October 2011 0:26

that's when you join him in dance

alexandraaaa 0

Friday 7 October 2011 0:45

It's Britney, bitch.

jerry2011 4

Friday 7 October 2011 1:04

What happened then?

OddBob 1

Friday 7 October 2011 1:25

Hopefully you acquired some wisdom along with the contusions. That's how it usually works.

CreamyGoodness_1 7

Friday 7 October 2011 1:41

Dang dude that's not cool.

Coolguyt2 0

Friday 7 October 2011 1:45

Lock your doors?

ideasrule 13

Friday 7 October 2011 1:48

I highly doubt he would dare to touch you while in the middle of traffic. That seems like a sure way to get into jail.

OddBob 1

Friday 7 October 2011 2:06

Jails are full of people who don't think that far ahead.

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The Top

Today, my new neighbor asked if I could keep my dog from yapping during the evenings, because it kept him awake last night. I don't have a dog, but I apologized anyway. I didn't have the heart to admit that those are the sounds my girlfriend makes during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 020

You deserved it 8 493

Today, I got a concussion when banging my head. I got extremely nauseous and nearly passed out. The emergency doctor gave me anti-nausea pills. The top three side effects are headache, dizziness and drowsiness. I have no idea if they're working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 143

The Top

Today, while waiting for class, I let out a huge fart in front of everyone thinking no one would hear it over the music. I was wearing headphones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 822

You deserved it 42 653

Today, as I was washing my boyfriend's fishbowl, the fish did a Nemo and made an unholy leap down the drain. My immediate impulse was to flip the switch. Our kitchen now smells like mutilated fish and my boyfriend won't speak to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 146

You deserved it 36 919

Today, I was at a pool party. My friend's little sister pushed me in the pool. When I got out, I pushed her in. She started screaming, and I started laughing because I thought she was pissed that I pushed her in. That wasn't why she was screaming. She can't swim. Her whole family witnessed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 708

You deserved it 20 264

Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 459

You deserved it 72 630

Today, I walked into the kitchen at 5 am, to have my 7 and 9 year olds throw a bucket of water on me. To their surprise and horror, I didn't melt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 102

You deserved it 3 599

Today, I got an e-mail from my University saying I may have violated the Student Code of Conduct for being drunk in public at a football game, and now I have to go in to defend myself against charges. My lungs filled with fluid at the game, causing me to throw up. I had to be taken away in an ambulance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 790

You deserved it 2 776

Same thing different taste

FREEBIRD!

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