Transportation: Today, I saw a man dancing to a Britney Spears song in his Volkswagen...

By Anonymous - 06/10/2011 17:04 - United States

Today, I saw a man dancing to a Britney Spears song in his Volkswagen Beetle. I started laughing hysterically until he got out. He was huge. I was stuck in traffic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 676

You deserved it 36 018

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 22/10/2010 09:04 - Australia

Today, I was walking home down a small street while listening to my iPod. I really got into the music, and started to dance really badly, only to realise there was a car following me, trying to get past. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 226

You deserved it 31 693

By ktorih137 - 14/05/2013 11:32 - Canada - Halifax

Today, I was dancing in the passenger seat of my car with my family when a cop pulled us over. He thought I was trying to flag him down for help. I guess I'm not as good of a dancer as I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 506

You deserved it 13 511

FREEBIRD!

By Anonymous - 01/03/2023 18:00

Today, I was singing and drumming on the steering wheel in my car while stuck in traffic, only to realize the car next to me was full of my carpooling coworkers, all staring at me in disbelief. They spent the day at the office requesting songs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 215

By Anonymous - 01/02/2012 01:11 - United States

Today, while driving to work in heavy traffic, I got so into the song I was listening to that I tapped my foot on the gas to the beat. I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 728

You deserved it 48 513

By NoBalls - 12/06/2009 00:23 - United States

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 105 364

You deserved it 22 489

By WasteOfTime - 01/11/2009 14:36 - United Kingdom

Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 358

You deserved it 3 449

By Anonymous - 07/02/2015 09:09 - United States - Pueblo

Today, at work, a good song came on and I started dancing to it. I guess security thought my Michael Jackson crotch-grab was funny, because a printout of it is now pinned in our break room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 312

You deserved it 11 933

By HumanNature - 01/02/2009 00:01 - Canada

Today, I was waiting after work in a parking lot for my ride and was dancing a little to keep warm. Next thing I know the cops pull up to me and said that someone called in to report someone dancing in an empty parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 048

You deserved it 3 232

By mylifesucks - 10/07/2013 20:10 - United States - Ellijay

Today, I was walking down the street and saw a man trip over a sign. He then grabbed his cane, started screaming, and began beating the sign. Apparently that didn't release his anger, so he began to beat the nearest car. I thought it was hilarious, until I noticed it was my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 214

You deserved it 10 254

By whoneedsdumbcars - 14/08/2009 08:29 - United States

Today, at a restaurant, I noticed a really hot girl leaving with her friend. A few minutes later they came back, laughing uncontrollably, and announced that some moron forgot to put on their parking brake and the car was rolling into the full parking lot. It was my car. They watched me chase it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 392

You deserved it 39 736

Blacksxe 1

Thursday 6 October 2011 22:46

Say you are laughing because you just remembered a funny joke. If you're lucky you will live.

flamerocker 9

Thursday 6 October 2011 22:48

It was you?

Comments

kut19 6

Friday 7 October 2011 3:16

When he was beating you, did you tell him that you can't take it, take it, take no more?

sicnesses 6

Friday 7 October 2011 3:23

Man loves his B. Spears!

sbjess 8

Friday 7 October 2011 3:30

Oops you did it again

TipsyHobo 7

Friday 7 October 2011 4:30

just play dead next time. o.o it sounds like it would end the same whether it is a cripple or a buff guy, to you.

betsyboox02 0

Friday 7 October 2011 4:30

why would he get out of the car while in traffic?

HU4L188 0

Friday 7 October 2011 4:33

The vw bug thing is funny but cmon.. Its brittney bitch :D shes awesome!

aly164 4

Friday 7 October 2011 4:43

oh god. lock your doors and roll the windows up. or just make friends, you might need a body guard one day :p

actingchick9870 8

Friday 7 October 2011 4:46

RIP u srry ass

ikickgingers 15

Friday 7 October 2011 4:51

Bri...Who? O.o

hfcknbby 0

Friday 7 October 2011 4:53

How do you even know what he was listening to?

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 776

You deserved it 3 939

Today, my best friend and I were playing Call of Duty when he said he had to go to the bathroom. Curious, I checked his phone. A text message read, "Tell your friend you're going to the bathroom and come eat. Pizza is here" from his dad. Apparently, I'm not good enough to feed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 060

You deserved it 8 155

The Top

Today, I went out on a date with a guy significantly older than myself. I told him I really liked him because I can have an intelligent conversation with him, unlike most guys my age. He told me he just wanted to get into my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 364

You deserved it 11 006

Today, I had a 5 hour exam. The exam guard had clearly eaten something funky, because she kept burping loudly. When I thought it couldn't get any worse, she started farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 004

You deserved it 3 406

Today, my husband ruined the laundry once again. He forgot to empty his pants pockets before washing them. Last time he left an ink pen in them. This time it was a strawberry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 265

You deserved it 2 636

Today, I found out I only exist because my parents hated each other. They both worked in the same office and despised each other, until they had a hate-fuck in a storeroom after a blazing argument, resulting in me. I exist due to sex fuelled by hatred and lust. Yay me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 884

You deserved it 194

Today, I made a cup of tea at work. Whilst talking to a work mate I took a sip of the tea which I had forgotten was boiling hot and laughed at the same time, causing it to come out of my nose. I have blistered my whole mouth and even burnt my nostrils. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 237

You deserved it 10 551

Today, I read through my phone, hoping there weren't any drunk texts by me from the night before. Apparently I dirty texted everyone, even my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 913

You deserved it 39 294

Same thing different taste

FREEBIRD!

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