Alcohol, Drunk and Health: Today, I saw a quarter in my poop. My friends say I do stupid... - FML

By photomark - 13/12/2011 06:32 - United States

Today, I saw a quarter in my poop. My friends say I do stupid things when I get drunk. Apparently, eating change is one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 512

You deserved it 37 048

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When the campus comes back to life, anecdotes abound between the lecture halls and student parties! More…

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Same thing different taste

By anna14 - 21/02/2010 19:34 - United States

Today, I learned a little lesson about consequences. Yesterday, I ate a quarter as a dare. Today, I tried to poop it out. It got stuck coming out. I had to go to the doctor and explain everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 148

You deserved it 49 432

By Anonymous - 09/07/2009 05:15 - United States

Today, after buying dinner from the supermarket, I had the change in my hand, and my wallet. In the parking lot, a quarter fell out of my hand, and right next to the street drain. As I went to pick it up, my wallet fell down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 353

You deserved it 11 273

By quarterback - 23/01/2011 05:43 - United States

Today, while at the vending machine, I put in my $20 instead of my $1. I got my change back in quarters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 100

You deserved it 44 603

Drunken antics

By qx5 - 08/01/2011 22:05 - Canada

Today, I put my paycheck in my wallet, intending to cash it in the next day. Later on, I met up with a friend and went to a party. I ended up getting so drunk, I gave away my $400 check in exchange for a pack of smokes, thinking it was a $5 bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 523

You deserved it 58 094

By Anonymous - 14/05/2015 02:37 - United Kingdom

Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 258

You deserved it 36 936

By ripped - 11/04/2009 06:10 - Canada

Today, I saw a dime on the ground. When I bent down to pick it up, my $80 dollar pants ripped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 240

You deserved it 63 910

By Watchingmyfigure - 06/12/2016 17:55 - United States - Gainesville

Today, I was so hungry and broke that I resorted to drinking salad dressing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 978

You deserved it 1 241

By tripleBBB - 09/09/2018 01:30

Today, I was in the shower when I realised that maybe I'm getting a little too fat. I was scrubbing the old belly when a dollar flew out onto the floor. I'm 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 706

You deserved it 2 630

By FattyMcFatterson - 24/06/2009 02:37 - United States

Today, in the shower, a dime fell on my foot. The only place it could have come from? One of my fat rolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 803

You deserved it 82 476

Poot

By dumblonde76 - 14/09/2021 07:00 - United States - Jackson

Today, I had a rumble in my tummy whilst picking up groceries. I tried to let out a little poot, but ended up shitting in my pants. I had to leave without the groceries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 898

You deserved it 377

Next

Top comments

MrSchneebly 5

Tuesday 13 December 2011 16:03

Kepp checking your poop you could be rich by next month

davidisbeast 12

Tuesday 13 December 2011 16:07

At least you got the quarter back :D that's a whole TWENTY FIVE cents !

Comments

desertpunk75 11

Wednesday 14 December 2011 4:06

Coin Slot

BellaMarta 19

Wednesday 14 December 2011 4:41

So what'd you do with the quarter afterward?

guerillazinsuits 1

Wednesday 14 December 2011 6:08

Even your shit is rich.

mizztrouble89 6

Wednesday 14 December 2011 6:14

nice one

alexup24 13

Wednesday 14 December 2011 6:44

You're hella raw, keep doing your thing. Maybe you'll eat some bills.

StormDewleaf 12

Wednesday 14 December 2011 7:04

There's nothing wrong with drinking. There's not even anything wrong with getting a little drunk. But if you don't even remember things you did, you drank way too much. If it happens once, lesson learned. If it happens more than once, you're just an idiot and YDI.

MeleMallory 0

Wednesday 14 December 2011 8:25

Yet one more reason getting drunk is overrated...

laupow89 4

Wednesday 14 December 2011 9:50

At least nobody can tell you that your shit doesn't make cents.

luckySLevin 0

Wednesday 14 December 2011 10:15

hey at least its not a condom.

Makeeasweet25 0

Wednesday 14 December 2011 10:15

Gross!!!! I bet you use that same quarter the next day.

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Surprise Love Cute Texting My ex Awkward Wanker Intimacy Sex Health Insomnia Sleep Mental health Cooking Food Weekend Parents Kids Miscellaneous Pranks Annoying Embarrassing Work Technology Coworkers Zoom Roommate Argument Pizza Animals

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 56 020

You deserved it 8 493

Today, while we were at a museum I like, my wife told me she was “in the mood” so we quickly drove home, where she suddenly “wasn’t in the mood anymore.” I get the feeling she was bored with the museum, and lied to me to come home earlier. FML

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 9 068

You deserved it 43 402

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I agree, your life sucks 25 319

You deserved it 2 855

Another selection of contenders for this week's crown, with this time bad dance moves coming under close scrutiny.

I agree, your life sucks 621

You deserved it 184

Today, my sister and I drove 800 miles with her five-year-old, her two-year-old, and her two dogs. The two-year-old got carsick five times, adding an extra three hours to the trip. The kicker? My sister is sympathy spewer and neither of them chews food very well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 112

You deserved it 3 590

Today, it was my last day at school before I graduate next week. Ten minutes into lunch break, I was brutally nailed in the neck by a football. Now, not only do I look like I was given a hickey by the Jolly Green Giant himself, I have to wear a neck brace at my graduation ceremony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 666

You deserved it 2 074

Today, my family and I were on a road trip. Everything was fine until we discovered that my dad, the driver, was not only fast asleep, he was also snoring. We were in the middle of the highway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 652

You deserved it 4 466