Intimacy: Today, I saw an article that Burger King is selling a whopper...

By Brian - 26/10/2009 04:25 - United States

Today, I saw an article that Burger King is selling a whopper with seven patties in celebration of the Windows Seven release. Upon reading this, I immediately got an extremely forceful erection. I think this is a sign to stop putting off that diet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 827

You deserved it 10 492

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/01/2011 21:10 - Lebanon

Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 395

You deserved it 5 001

By Anonymous - 01/09/2010 04:13 - United States

Today, Burger King gave me a moldy bun. I noticed 1/5 of the way through the sandwich. My compensation for ingesting mold? A coupon for half-off a Whopper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 819

You deserved it 4 934

Mind your own business

By janie - 10/01/2021 17:01

Today, I'm so skinny that I was told to, “Eat a burger.” While I was eating a burger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 877

You deserved it 161

By FYLyfer - 26/10/2009 21:34 - United States

Today, while at Wendy's with my boyfriend, I realized that he made more pleasure sounds when eating his Baconator than he did while sleeping with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 042

You deserved it 5 617

By lyfisdyno - 12/09/2013 00:16 - United Kingdom - Malvern

Today, I had sex with a guy wearing a KFC uniform. Hat included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 808

You deserved it 74 082

Fine, let her catch something

By JackG - 03/03/2010 01:20 - United States

Today, while at McDonald's, I saw an 8 year-old girl licking a life-size Ronald McDonald sitting on a bench. Being concerned, I told her mother, who then yelled at me for 10 minutes for being a "paedophile" and "being turned on by an 8 year-old girl." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 083

You deserved it 3 070

By Anonymous - 17/05/2009 20:09 - United States

Today, for my birthday, I got a Big Mac. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 871

You deserved it 9 649

Happy International Workers' Day!

By engineerdude91 - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I realized the benefits at Burger King are better than at my company. I'm an engineer, have three degrees, speak three languages fluently, and work at a multi-billion dollar company. The guy flipping burgers has better health care and more corporate 401k contributions than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 779

You deserved it 4 358

McGastric

By Mc'xplosive - 09/10/2019 04:00

Today, after months of avoiding fast food, I decided to eat some McDonald's french fries. Though the fries were delicious, they were not worth the agonizing 15 minutes I spent on the toilet afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 329

You deserved it 472

By elisimo - 24/01/2012 08:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 564

You deserved it 35 862

DynamicDave 11

Monday 26 October 2009 12:33

Lmao WTF is an "extremely forceful erection"? Did you **** IN YOUR PANTS? lol

couny343 1

Monday 26 October 2009 12:13

Turned on by a burger?

Comments

souliloquy 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 4:21

ydi for being fat enough to get an erection at the thought of food.

Sparkiee93 3

Tuesday 27 October 2009 4:26

Now THAT made me lol. What kind of a jew gets a boner from hearing about a sandwich?? I agree your diet starts now.

Ninjaface 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 6:49

Dude. Antisemitism= not cool.

gpstyne 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 17:46

are we twelve and unable to control our erections or do you have a burger fetish?

Johnny_k123 0

Thursday 29 October 2009 4:18

This is one of the most hilarious things I ever read. ****. Your. Life.

dabeachbum 0

Thursday 29 October 2009 23:41

lol u got aroused by a burger haha wow fatty F ur life pudgy pudge pudge

Ninjaface 0

Friday 30 October 2009 10:05

Hm, they seem to have moderated that stupid antisemitic comment that someone made. Good for them.

Ninjaface 0

Friday 30 October 2009 10:07

The really ironic part is that if you were to ever actually eat said burger then your arteries would get clogged and you'd no longer be able to maintain said erection.