Intimacy: Today, I saw an article that Burger King is selling a whopper...

By Brian - 26/10/2009 04:25 - United States

Today, I saw an article that Burger King is selling a whopper with seven patties in celebration of the Windows Seven release. Upon reading this, I immediately got an extremely forceful erection. I think this is a sign to stop putting off that diet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 818

You deserved it 10 480

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/01/2011 21:10 - Lebanon

Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 386

You deserved it 4 989

By Anonymous - 01/09/2010 04:13 - United States

Today, Burger King gave me a moldy bun. I noticed 1/5 of the way through the sandwich. My compensation for ingesting mold? A coupon for half-off a Whopper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 815

You deserved it 4 932

Mind your own business

By janie - 10/01/2021 17:01

Today, I'm so skinny that I was told to, “Eat a burger.” While I was eating a burger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 866

You deserved it 145

By FYLyfer - 26/10/2009 21:34 - United States

Today, while at Wendy's with my boyfriend, I realized that he made more pleasure sounds when eating his Baconator than he did while sleeping with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 027

You deserved it 5 615

By lyfisdyno - 12/09/2013 00:16 - United Kingdom - Malvern

Today, I had sex with a guy wearing a KFC uniform. Hat included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 808

You deserved it 74 061

Fine, let her catch something

By JackG - 03/03/2010 01:20 - United States

Today, while at McDonald's, I saw an 8 year-old girl licking a life-size Ronald McDonald sitting on a bench. Being concerned, I told her mother, who then yelled at me for 10 minutes for being a "paedophile" and "being turned on by an 8 year-old girl." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 078

You deserved it 3 053

By Anonymous - 17/05/2009 20:09 - United States

Today, for my birthday, I got a Big Mac. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 866

You deserved it 9 638

Happy International Workers' Day!

By engineerdude91 - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I realized the benefits at Burger King are better than at my company. I'm an engineer, have three degrees, speak three languages fluently, and work at a multi-billion dollar company. The guy flipping burgers has better health care and more corporate 401k contributions than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 769

You deserved it 4 336

McGastric

By Mc'xplosive - 09/10/2019 04:00

Today, after months of avoiding fast food, I decided to eat some McDonald's french fries. Though the fries were delicious, they were not worth the agonizing 15 minutes I spent on the toilet afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 316

You deserved it 469

By elisimo - 24/01/2012 08:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 561

You deserved it 35 838

DynamicDave 11

Monday 26 October 2009 12:33

Lmao WTF is an "extremely forceful erection"? Did you **** IN YOUR PANTS? lol

couny343 1

Monday 26 October 2009 12:13

Turned on by a burger?

Comments

lilmami0823 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 6:24

if u ate it I hope you have a heart attack from ur nasty clogged arteries. you disgust me!!!

DisappearingRose 18

Wednesday 15 September 2010 3:53

That's how you know the world is getting fatter. Erections from food!

Sk8trfreak 0

Thursday 24 March 2011 10:49

LMFO!! That reminded me of the movie Dodgeball when he is in his little room about to pleasure himself with the pizza. Hahaha

deltec 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 6:47

you must want the king to wake up in bed with you

misamisaomg 0

Tuesday 19 July 2011 18:22

somebody loves meat.

dollFehn 6

Monday 8 August 2011 4:57

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

ilovemynutz 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 20:04

Brian banzaca?

bibbster18 11

Tuesday 20 September 2011 5:28

Classic FML.

dragonstrike94 8

Thursday 27 October 2011 5:38

No thats normal

fmlx24life 0

Thursday 19 January 2012 1:48

Ur erection like what? Roundhouse kicked ur zipper? Cuz that would be pretty forceful

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 69 236

You deserved it 13 229

Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML

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The Top

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You deserved it 2 883

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I agree, your life sucks 41 525

You deserved it 2 796

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I agree, your life sucks 36 054

You deserved it 3 286

Today, I was on my favourite forum when I saw a guy ranting at some pro-lifer fanatic. For fun, I replied "umad bro?" apparently moments after the forum founder also left an angry reply. I'm now banned for a month for "trolling the founder" and all my posts have vanished without a trace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 056

You deserved it 36 566

Today, my mother told me she's planning on taking the next two weeks "off". She is unemployed and on disability, and spends her days on the couch watching Netflix. Off from what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 943

You deserved it 155