Intimacy: Today, I saw an article that Burger King is selling a whopper...

By Brian - 26/10/2009 04:25 - United States

Today, I saw an article that Burger King is selling a whopper with seven patties in celebration of the Windows Seven release. Upon reading this, I immediately got an extremely forceful erection. I think this is a sign to stop putting off that diet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 827

You deserved it 10 492

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/01/2011 21:10 - Lebanon

Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 395

You deserved it 5 001

By Anonymous - 01/09/2010 04:13 - United States

Today, Burger King gave me a moldy bun. I noticed 1/5 of the way through the sandwich. My compensation for ingesting mold? A coupon for half-off a Whopper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 819

You deserved it 4 934

Mind your own business

By janie - 10/01/2021 17:01

Today, I'm so skinny that I was told to, “Eat a burger.” While I was eating a burger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 877

You deserved it 161

By FYLyfer - 26/10/2009 21:34 - United States

Today, while at Wendy's with my boyfriend, I realized that he made more pleasure sounds when eating his Baconator than he did while sleeping with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 042

You deserved it 5 617

By lyfisdyno - 12/09/2013 00:16 - United Kingdom - Malvern

Today, I had sex with a guy wearing a KFC uniform. Hat included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 808

You deserved it 74 082

Fine, let her catch something

By JackG - 03/03/2010 01:20 - United States

Today, while at McDonald's, I saw an 8 year-old girl licking a life-size Ronald McDonald sitting on a bench. Being concerned, I told her mother, who then yelled at me for 10 minutes for being a "paedophile" and "being turned on by an 8 year-old girl." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 083

You deserved it 3 070

By Anonymous - 17/05/2009 20:09 - United States

Today, for my birthday, I got a Big Mac. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 871

You deserved it 9 649

Happy International Workers' Day!

By engineerdude91 - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I realized the benefits at Burger King are better than at my company. I'm an engineer, have three degrees, speak three languages fluently, and work at a multi-billion dollar company. The guy flipping burgers has better health care and more corporate 401k contributions than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 779

You deserved it 4 358

McGastric

By Mc'xplosive - 09/10/2019 04:00

Today, after months of avoiding fast food, I decided to eat some McDonald's french fries. Though the fries were delicious, they were not worth the agonizing 15 minutes I spent on the toilet afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 329

You deserved it 472

By elisimo - 24/01/2012 08:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 564

You deserved it 35 862

DynamicDave 11

Monday 26 October 2009 12:33

Lmao WTF is an "extremely forceful erection"? Did you **** IN YOUR PANTS? lol

couny343 1

Monday 26 October 2009 12:13

Turned on by a burger?

Comments

emilialoriana_fml 0

Saturday 7 November 2009 10:28

Ewww? Get a sex life dude ! lol

HXCxSceneKidx 0

Tuesday 17 November 2009 13:11

Fattasssss

Rodimus273 0

Monday 23 November 2009 15:49

HAHAHAHA!!! OMG that made my day

higurashil0v3 0

Saturday 19 December 2009 3:43

get a girl, and stay away from the grill xD

JENNABY 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 2:41

wow ur sucha loser what's so hot about a fkin 7 patty....fatass

xamcavip 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 19:19

dude windows 7 kicks ass but the pornos not on 7 it's on the Internet

bc465 0

Wednesday 31 March 2010 1:57

fatass

Pissedoff2464 0

Sunday 11 April 2010 17:36

life fact#6738: fat guys can't get boners... ever! therefore this fml is fake. but if it's true... that's worse than being a 40 year old virgin...

adrifter 0

Saturday 15 May 2010 7:37

What, the ****?!?!?!?!?

Ah_Just_Freakin_ 0

Saturday 5 June 2010 5:18

You're just a pretty sad guy gettin turned on by a burger aren't ya? I feel bad for you. You need to get some.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, on my friend's birthday, I met a guy I really liked at a club, and he asked me to go home with him. At 2 a.m., my friend called but I missed her calls. When I woke up, she'd texted me pictures of all my things that I had at her place thrown outside in the snow. All because I didn’t go home with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 635

You deserved it 1 263

Today, my 8 year-old little sister said, "F*** you" to my mom. My mom thought I told her to say that and grounded me for a month. Later, my sister came up to me and said, "Gotcha, bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 119

You deserved it 4 208

The Top

Today, as I put my 4 year-old daughter in the car seat, she dropped her crayon. She then paused and matter-of-factly said, "Mommy, I don't say 'f***' anymore when I drop things." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 120

You deserved it 9 206

Today, I was on a three hour flight to Los Angeles for a corporate meeting. The woman next to me instantly fell asleep and snored louder than a freight train, while the kid behind me made a hobby of thashing my seat from behind. When I peered over and asked him to stop, he spat in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 737

You deserved it 3 487

Today, I went snowboarding and fell backwards, hitting my head on a patch of ice. When I got home, I told my brother I thought I might have a concussion. He told me I should be a man and suck it, swiftly smacking my head, causing me to pass out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 380

You deserved it 3 627

Today, I got a call from a 24/7 psychiatric triage centre. Apparently, writing to the PM about assisted suicide puts you on their 'at risk' list. Is it not reasonable to ask if Australia is going to follow Canada's lead in complex mental health as a qualification for assisted suicide? I'm getting another call tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 181

Today, my vegan boyfriend told me that if he were forced to kill either his cat or me, he'd kill me because he "would never kill an animal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 568

You deserved it 6 843

Today, I get to stand in the unemployment line for the second time in a year because my company can't pay me. My parents own the company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 143

You deserved it 3 189