Intimacy: Today, I saw an article that Burger King is selling a whopper...

By Brian - 26/10/2009 04:25 - United States

Today, I saw an article that Burger King is selling a whopper with seven patties in celebration of the Windows Seven release. Upon reading this, I immediately got an extremely forceful erection. I think this is a sign to stop putting off that diet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 818

You deserved it 10 480

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/01/2011 21:10 - Lebanon

Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 386

You deserved it 4 989

By Anonymous - 01/09/2010 04:13 - United States

Today, Burger King gave me a moldy bun. I noticed 1/5 of the way through the sandwich. My compensation for ingesting mold? A coupon for half-off a Whopper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 815

You deserved it 4 932

Mind your own business

By janie - 10/01/2021 17:01

Today, I'm so skinny that I was told to, “Eat a burger.” While I was eating a burger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 866

You deserved it 145

By FYLyfer - 26/10/2009 21:34 - United States

Today, while at Wendy's with my boyfriend, I realized that he made more pleasure sounds when eating his Baconator than he did while sleeping with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 027

You deserved it 5 615

By lyfisdyno - 12/09/2013 00:16 - United Kingdom - Malvern

Today, I had sex with a guy wearing a KFC uniform. Hat included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 808

You deserved it 74 061

Fine, let her catch something

By JackG - 03/03/2010 01:20 - United States

Today, while at McDonald's, I saw an 8 year-old girl licking a life-size Ronald McDonald sitting on a bench. Being concerned, I told her mother, who then yelled at me for 10 minutes for being a "paedophile" and "being turned on by an 8 year-old girl." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 078

You deserved it 3 053

By Anonymous - 17/05/2009 20:09 - United States

Today, for my birthday, I got a Big Mac. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 866

You deserved it 9 638

Happy International Workers' Day!

By engineerdude91 - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I realized the benefits at Burger King are better than at my company. I'm an engineer, have three degrees, speak three languages fluently, and work at a multi-billion dollar company. The guy flipping burgers has better health care and more corporate 401k contributions than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 769

You deserved it 4 336

McGastric

By Mc'xplosive - 09/10/2019 04:00

Today, after months of avoiding fast food, I decided to eat some McDonald's french fries. Though the fries were delicious, they were not worth the agonizing 15 minutes I spent on the toilet afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 316

You deserved it 469

By elisimo - 24/01/2012 08:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 561

You deserved it 35 838

DynamicDave 11

Monday 26 October 2009 12:33

Lmao WTF is an "extremely forceful erection"? Did you **** IN YOUR PANTS? lol

couny343 1

Monday 26 October 2009 12:13

Turned on by a burger?

Comments

emilialoriana_fml 0

Saturday 7 November 2009 10:28

Ewww? Get a sex life dude ! lol

HXCxSceneKidx 0

Tuesday 17 November 2009 13:11

Fattasssss

Rodimus273 0

Monday 23 November 2009 15:49

HAHAHAHA!!! OMG that made my day

higurashil0v3 0

Saturday 19 December 2009 3:43

get a girl, and stay away from the grill xD

JENNABY 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 2:41

wow ur sucha loser what's so hot about a fkin 7 patty....fatass

xamcavip 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 19:19

dude windows 7 kicks ass but the pornos not on 7 it's on the Internet

bc465 0

Wednesday 31 March 2010 1:57

fatass

Pissedoff2464 0

Sunday 11 April 2010 17:36

life fact#6738: fat guys can't get boners... ever! therefore this fml is fake. but if it's true... that's worse than being a 40 year old virgin...

adrifter 0

Saturday 15 May 2010 7:37

What, the ****?!?!?!?!?

Ah_Just_Freakin_ 0

Saturday 5 June 2010 5:18

You're just a pretty sad guy gettin turned on by a burger aren't ya? I feel bad for you. You need to get some.

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I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 25

Today, I found out that I bought a house next door to crazy people. She asked me if I would mind not showering when her husband is at home, because he can hear me and knowing I’m naked on the other side of the wall turns him on, which is a nuisance for her. He’s unemployed. He’s always at home, the creep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 613

You deserved it 78

The Top

Today, I cursed out a school bus driver for blocking me from making a turn. What’s wrong with me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 1 031

Today, what started as a fun family Easter egg hunt turned within minutes into my mother-in-law's big chance to be a dramatic cow by screaming at my 5 and 7-year-old daughters for participating in a "vile pagan ritual" and saying that we're all going to hell. They're still bawling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 891

You deserved it 2 640

Today, I was singing while unloading my dishwasher. I heard a knock on the door and went to answer it only to find the police telling me they received noise complaints from my neighbors. I live next-door to my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 302

You deserved it 6 224

Today, my mother in law likes to baby my partner. Gets him drinks, kisses him on the forehead, talks to him like he's 8, does everything for him. And she gives me death stares, especially when she hugs him when I'm around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 721

You deserved it 1 233

Today, I finally got the girl of my dreams' phone number. After texting her "Hey, is this Stephanie?" I got response saying "Sorry bro, I know how you feel, she did the same thing to me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 613

You deserved it 3 355

Today, I was at the gym and as I was pulling out my earphones and getting off my treadmill, I heard the girl behind me say to her friend on the treadmill next to her, "Wow, there have no cute guys today." Her friend replied, "None at all. It's like everyone suddenly got gay or ugly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 464

You deserved it 2 380