Intimacy: Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying...

By Melaknee - 19/03/2009 00:10 - United States

Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 453

You deserved it 149 791

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Chelsea - 02/04/2012 17:31 - United States

Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 450

You deserved it 38 898

Bang for your buck

By Anonymous - 24/08/2022 06:00

Today, feeling attractive, I got dressed up and took myself to a trendy bar to enjoy some cocktails. A muscular, handsome man approached me and we began to flirt. He recommended that we get a hotel room, which we did. After we had the most amazing sex of my life, he started to tell me his price. He was an escort. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 966

You deserved it 577

By Anonymous - 11/04/2015 22:05 - United States - Shelby

Today, while walking down the street, a cute guy approached me. We ended up having some drinks then heading back to his place and hooked up. Afterwards, I used the bathroom, and when I came out, he was going through his wallet and asked me how much he owed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 936

You deserved it 11 909

By meesmees - 23/11/2013 10:48 - United States - Severna Park

Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 817

You deserved it 6 812

Messy

By hopeless1 - 26/04/2009 05:40 - United States

Today, I met a really hot guy at a bar. We talked for a while and really seemed to hit it off. We ended up going to my apartment. He stopped and said, "Clean up this mess and maybe we could do something another time." I am a complete neat freak - my apartment had been robbed and trashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 964

You deserved it 5 845

By pauper - 09/02/2012 01:20

Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 281

You deserved it 8 774

Oh, hi…

By Anonymous - 28/12/2011 15:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend who I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I find out that last time he saw me, I was blind drunk and vomiting after propositioning him all evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 964

You deserved it 31 217

Oh, hai Mark!

By SHAME! - 20/05/2019 16:02

Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I found out that the last time he saw me I was blind drunk and vomiting after having propositioned him all evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 973

You deserved it 2 040

By monogamyisalie - 23/07/2015 17:29 - United States

Today, an attractive man hit on me for the first time since I ended my 3-year relationship with my cheating ex. Then the man told me he'd just gotten out of prison last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 044

You deserved it 2 786

Broke

By hobo no-no - 10/11/2020 08:00 - United States

Today, I saw my ex asking for change outside a store. I was so shocked and sad to see him in such a position, I offered to take him home with me, let him shower and cook him a good meal. He laughed in my face and said, "Nah, I just do this for some quick bucks. It’s easier than working." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 175

You deserved it 157

L4m3r 3

Thursday 19 March 2009 9:15

I'm not one to judge, but you have to admit that such things are part of the risk you take when you sleep with random people. You're not wrong to have sex to your heart's content, but I don't think you have a lot of room to complain about the result, either. I'd recommend going to a clinic ASAP, by the way.

Ineffableturtle 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 9:04

no need to judge, and least the sex was good?

Comments

Shaynmaster55 0

Friday 20 March 2009 2:40

How can you not tell he is a bum. Thats what i dont get.

anjelica 0

Friday 20 March 2009 3:06

Was his Name Curtis??

nitsujtpu 0

Friday 20 March 2009 3:25

Nonsense! You could not have met a homeless person and had sex with them TODAY only to drop them off the next day, and be writing a retrospective on the matter today.

agentasuka 0

Friday 20 March 2009 3:30

yeah... how is it that you had sex with him today but dropped him off tomorrow? hes probably not homeless...hes probably the men in black be screwing with your memory. now we all know you're an alien.

Whatdaeff 0

Friday 20 March 2009 3:35

"I JUST WANT MY KIDS BACK!"

Skiffer29 0

Friday 20 March 2009 3:37

how on gods green earth did you not realize he was a bum

newyorkbebe 0

Friday 20 March 2009 3:39

ahahah this sounds like a joke that Dayne Cook would say........

fishyfishy300 0

Friday 20 March 2009 3:40

Ahhh, totally reminded me of Arrested Development! When Lindsey tried to get with a guy and she realizes he's homeless. But he's actually an actor. But it was still a lot like this.

bigrederin 0

Friday 20 March 2009 4:16

Goddang, you're one grody bitch. Hopefully you'll think twice before you spread like cream cheese.

boots13 0

Friday 20 March 2009 4:51

You're lucky he only stole bread and cheese! I mean lucky him, he got laid and was probably famished. Bread and cheese are both cheap and replaceable, if he stole a flat screen tv that'd be a little worse. It was your call sleeping with him anyway, just be thankful it was good and you have an apartment with bread and cheese. Besides, he couldn't have been too bad if you thought he was hot and he charmed you enough to take him home.