Miscellaneous: Today, I saw one of those candies that you spray on your tongue....

By samboob - 01/09/2010 21:01 - United States

Today, I saw one of those candies that you spray on your tongue. Only after spraying some in my mouth did I find it was actually perfume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 112

You deserved it 44 531

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/10/2014 14:24 - Canada - Bridgewater

Today, I started my job selling perfume in a department store. I decided to be creative and sprayed a little perfume towards the first person who walked by. She had an allergic reaction, and an ambulance had to be called. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 688

You deserved it 43 249

I can explain

By 1nn0cen7 1 sw3ar - 06/05/2022 14:00

Today, I had to walk through the women's perfume section to get to my normal aftershave. A woman was trying out a perfume, which she squirted on herself and me. You can imagine the afternoon I had to endure after I got home to my wife and she could smell "some slut's scent" all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 029

You deserved it 175

Extreme reaction

By KCS - 04/03/2023 18:00 - Australia

Today, I discovered I'm allergic to the new perfume I bought and now I smell like a hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 910

You deserved it 149

By Anonymous - 19/01/2014 21:08 - Canada - Prince Albert

Today, I bought an automatic air refresher. I put the can and batteries in, and it promptly sprayed a blast of its scent down my throat. Now I can't breathe without tasting it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 907

You deserved it 9 859

By g'day cunt - 26/08/2012 18:27 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, my dog head-butted me in the mouth so hard that my lip split open. Twenty minutes later, I unthinkingly sprayed perfume directly into the wound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 643

You deserved it 28 879

Oh gosh

By Anonymous - 16/02/2020 14:00

Today, I noticed a strange mark on the inside of my mouthwash bottle. As I was bending down to investigate, my hands tightened around the bottle and mouthwash squirted in my eye. It still burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 405

You deserved it 690

Classic mistake

By Anonymous - 18/08/2021 13:59

Today, I was getting ready for work and I sprayed my hair to stay in place, then went to spray deodorant under my arm, but noticed that it was super sticky. No wonder my hair spray smelled like baby powder, I'd confused one product with another. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 678

Fragrant

By nooneinparticular - 21/05/2020 08:00

Today, I realized that I get turned on by my girlfriend's perfume. My mother started using the same one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 724

You deserved it 189

By justnance - 22/12/2011 18:04 - United Kingdom

Today, I used so many different perfume testers that I passed out on the bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 818

You deserved it 35 807

By Anonymous - 29/05/2010 13:16 - Malaysia

Today, someone switched my hairspray with bug spray when I didn't notice. I used it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 992

You deserved it 6 547

starile 19

Thursday 2 September 2010 0:01

You're stupid

Zestus 19

Thursday 2 September 2010 0:00

Perfume oughta taste like it smells. but I suppose that'd taste terrible, too.

Comments

illmatic2 16

Thursday 2 September 2010 1:44

But sour is good. Unless you have too much of it, then it makes you want to puke.

illmatic2 16

Thursday 2 September 2010 1:54

Well it's in the candy isle so I think it is. :P

Elision 0

Thursday 2 September 2010 2:08

lmaooo it must've smelled sweet for you to try it. :) i hope no one was watching

UpYoursInAdvance 0

Thursday 2 September 2010 2:10

Happy Birthday to me 09/01/1993 17 Today...

lauraxx_fml 0

Thursday 2 September 2010 2:13

happy birthday for yesterday haha.. #70

UpYoursInAdvance 0

Thursday 2 September 2010 2:20

Thx 72 Lol

illmatic2 16

Thursday 2 September 2010 2:14

Yes it should be, liquid candy is an amazing invention.

UpYoursInAdvance 0

Thursday 2 September 2010 2:16

How the **** do you get perfume mixed up with spray candy?!!! Check before you do if you don't know what it is!!!!

teamsleep22 0

Thursday 2 September 2010 2:33

49 u look like a backstreet boy. Put a shirt on u ******* ******

Zachrutan13 0

Thursday 2 September 2010 2:44

dumb ass

Cynnnnthia 0

Thursday 2 September 2010 2:54

uhh are you retarded!? hahaha

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The Top

Today, my best friend called me to cancel our mall plans. I could hear that she was watching a movie in the background. I then called my boyfriend to see if he was busy, and I could hear the same movie in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 313

You deserved it 157

Today, I got piss drunk. Being a tattoo artist, I came to the intoxicated conclusion that I could save much more money doing my own tattoos on myself. I now have my ex-boyfriend's name permanently on my thigh. It's not even spelled right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 536

You deserved it 65 008

The Top

Today, I was very sick and kept throwing up. I took a shower after every time I threw up. While in the shower after I threw up, I had to throw up again, so I got out and ran to the toilet. I slipped on the tile, broke my nose on the floor, and then threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 621

You deserved it 11 136

Today, I came home from work to find my things outside my yard and the door locks changed. I called my wife to let me in and she told me to go live with, “That homewrecking whore who texted you last night” instead. She’s talking about my cousin, who informed me via text that my aunt’s in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 400

You deserved it 101

Today, I realized that my boyfriend does not stop by my apartment to give me a kiss between classes. He is actually stopping by between his classes to steal my condoms because he is too cheap to pay for them when he cheats on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 508

You deserved it 5 679

Today, I was explaining a complex work issue to my team. I moved my chair back so I could see them all. The leg of my chair went into a hole in the floor, causing it to fall over and me with it. I tried to finish explaining but everyone was laughing so hard they couldn't hear. Then they realized I couldn't get up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 93

Today, my husband said he was going to get errands. According to his job’s Instagram page which I follow, he was actually at his work Christmas formal. He never invited me. That’s not all. I also found his wedding band in the bathroom sink. Very close to the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 411

You deserved it 140

Today, I accidentally sent my boss an explicit text message. She replied saying, "Very detailed, if only you put that much effort into your work". FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 619

You deserved it 6 151

Same thing different taste

I can explain

Extreme reaction

Oh gosh

Classic mistake

Fragrant

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