Health: Today, I shat a magnet. FML

By mimi - 27/09/2011 02:51 - United States

Today, I shat a magnet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 683

You deserved it 35 754

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Same thing different taste

By wtf - 09/06/2011 15:04 - United Kingdom

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 620

You deserved it 17 978

By clublulu - 10/04/2009 02:40 - United States

Today, I absentmindedly stuck two magnets in my mouth while talking, and accidentally swallowed them. I had to go the emergency room. The nurses at the station laughed at me. They thought it was a joke. They couldn't believe an 18 year old would swallow magnets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 803

You deserved it 77 172

By Anonymous - 01/09/2017 20:00

Today, I put a magnet on my brand new car. I got rear-ended by someone who was trying to read it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 173

You deserved it 866

Wardrobe change please

By Meagan Ortiz - 16/08/2020 23:02

Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 261

By Anonymous - 24/02/2012 08:40 - United States

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 926

You deserved it 7 350

By Anonymous - 08/10/2015 15:10 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, in the middle of a presentation, I fought a shart, but the shart won. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 330

You deserved it 2 856

By sadface - 04/01/2010 06:43 - Australia

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 489

You deserved it 7 423

By SenorPoopypants - 08/01/2017 19:23

Today, I shat myself during a job interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 669

You deserved it 992

By Mel - 07/05/2011 22:27 - United States

Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 972

You deserved it 12 963

By brownunderwear - 14/12/2011 03:45 - United States

Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid, liquid, and gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 780

You deserved it 7 883

cBlackout 13

Tuesday 27 September 2011 8:27

That's when you know you party too hard.

develgool 0

Tuesday 27 September 2011 8:26

Ok when did you have magnet for dinner?

Comments

jenncatherine 0

Tuesday 27 September 2011 22:12

Lol shat

poseidon1 3

Tuesday 27 September 2011 22:35

Do you have an iron defincy

Twisted_Angel 17

Tuesday 27 September 2011 22:37

Pretty sure maggots don't travel alone... you might want to see a doctor...

Twisted_Angel 17

Tuesday 27 September 2011 22:41

Lol, sorry read that wrong. Either way... wtf????

luvlyric 5

Tuesday 27 September 2011 22:55

Blame it on the alcohol. ;)

PiXiEdUsT07 7

Tuesday 27 September 2011 23:09

Did things come out ok?

ih82bl8 2

Tuesday 27 September 2011 23:29

I don't even wanna know how it got in there in the first place

thejedi08 10

Tuesday 27 September 2011 23:50

how did you not notice you ate a magnet? was it magnetizing?

ArsenalFan12 0

Tuesday 27 September 2011 23:57

how do fmls like this get posted? seriously?

Superllama12 11

Wednesday 28 September 2011 0:23

Maybe you're bipolar? Also, props on saying "shat," my friends don't believe it's a real word

NeonBluee 8

Wednesday 28 September 2011 0:37

159 - You just made my day :)

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I discovered that my supervisor, who I thought liked me, actually thinks I'm incompetent and lack emotional intelligence. I'm a student nurse and I've just listed her as my reference for our single, statewide job application. There's no way to change it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 805

You deserved it 1 297

Today, I ordered a mountain of junk food for myself on Deliveroo. Embarrassed, I pretended there was other people in the house by yelling, "Food’s here, everyone!" to avoid judgment. The delivery guy smiled and said, "Come on, be honest mate, no one else is in there is there?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 536

The Top

Today, my doctor asked me how often I drink, and I responded, "Socially." My three-year-old piped up, "No Mom, you drink all the time." My doctor now thinks I'm a raging alcoholic. My kid has never seen me drink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 059

You deserved it 3 875

Today, since I always fall asleep in class, I decided not to go to the bathroom beforehand, hoping the need to pee would keep me awake. I ended up falling asleep and wetting myself in the middle of the lecture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 859

You deserved it 7 264

Today, my boyfriend scolded me for asking whether he’d like his favorite soup for lunch when he was, "in absolutely no shape to survive ingesting food." Two hours later he's greedily digging into an almost expired pack of cheap and nasty supermarket waffles from out of his bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 616

You deserved it 113

Today, my friend with benefits that I was starting to like forgot my name in front of his friends when they asked who I was. We've known each other for at least a year. I think this means I'm just a benefit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 617

You deserved it 884

Today, I witnessed my dad rummage through his nostrils, thoughtfully examine the contents, and flick them nonchalantly onto the carpet. All of this he did with the biggest demented grin on his face. Sadly, this has become a regular occurrence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 766

You deserved it 2 560

Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 040

You deserved it 62 132

Same thing different taste

Wardrobe change please

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