Health: Today, I shat a magnet. FML

By mimi - 27/09/2011 02:51 - United States

Today, I shat a magnet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 683

You deserved it 35 754

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Same thing different taste

By wtf - 09/06/2011 15:04 - United Kingdom

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 620

You deserved it 17 978

By clublulu - 10/04/2009 02:40 - United States

Today, I absentmindedly stuck two magnets in my mouth while talking, and accidentally swallowed them. I had to go the emergency room. The nurses at the station laughed at me. They thought it was a joke. They couldn't believe an 18 year old would swallow magnets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 803

You deserved it 77 172

By Anonymous - 01/09/2017 20:00

Today, I put a magnet on my brand new car. I got rear-ended by someone who was trying to read it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 173

You deserved it 866

Wardrobe change please

By Meagan Ortiz - 16/08/2020 23:02

Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 261

By Anonymous - 24/02/2012 08:40 - United States

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 926

You deserved it 7 350

By Anonymous - 08/10/2015 15:10 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, in the middle of a presentation, I fought a shart, but the shart won. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 330

You deserved it 2 856

By sadface - 04/01/2010 06:43 - Australia

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 489

You deserved it 7 423

By SenorPoopypants - 08/01/2017 19:23

Today, I shat myself during a job interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 669

You deserved it 992

By Mel - 07/05/2011 22:27 - United States

Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 972

You deserved it 12 963

By brownunderwear - 14/12/2011 03:45 - United States

Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid, liquid, and gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 780

You deserved it 7 883

cBlackout 13

Tuesday 27 September 2011 8:27

That's when you know you party too hard.

develgool 0

Tuesday 27 September 2011 8:26

Ok when did you have magnet for dinner?

Comments

jacksonseconds 0

Tuesday 27 September 2011 13:50

A mighty putty!!! Search it on YouTube. :)

FarSide 22

Tuesday 27 September 2011 13:58

Were you playing with your Ben Wa balls again???

emtae6307 4

Tuesday 27 September 2011 14:16

why are you eating magnets?

live_2_eat 5

Tuesday 27 September 2011 14:52

You should reconsider your diet.

Rwcrazy 0

Tuesday 27 September 2011 14:53

Why do people think they need to lie? Just to get attention and make themselves feel better, stupid

obamathellama 0

Tuesday 27 September 2011 15:07

Ok, this is going down on my favorites list lmao

TBREARVGIS 5

Tuesday 27 September 2011 15:16

How the f*** does something like this happen?! O.o

Mr_mur_der 0

Tuesday 27 September 2011 15:18

******* magnets, how do they work?

tjsomethin 9

Tuesday 27 September 2011 15:36

Damnit

Levvy 22

Tuesday 27 September 2011 17:17

Via the digestive tract. It all makes sense now.

tjsomethin 9

Tuesday 27 September 2011 15:31

******' magnets, how do they work?

Rainbow_dumpster 28

Tuesday 27 September 2011 15:32

idiocy. =_=U

Keywords

Money Christmas Gifts Relatable Lonely Health Family Awkward Miscellaneous Technology Social Media Narcissistic parents Holidays Drunk Love Poopoo peepee Dogs Animals Annoying My ex Work Religion Shopping AITA Intimacy Cheating Am I overreacting? Break-ups Furniture Delivery

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to mix it up and find a good place outdoors to have fun. After an hour of climbing up a rocky mountainside to a completely isolated clearing, out of the way of any hiking path, he was still so paranoid that he finished within 20 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 461

You deserved it 2 166

Today, I had to finally accept that no amount of communication, directions, or diagrams will make my otherwise great boyfriend good at sex. When he's on top, he thrusts like the tin man with no oil. When I'm on top, he lays there like a sedated mattress. He refuses to try anything new. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 048

You deserved it 442

The Top

Today, I was running the 100m sprint in a track meet. Me and another girl were tied for dead last. When we finished, she complained, "It's so embarrassing how slow I am today. I have shin splints. What happened to you?" I was actually running my hardest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 665

You deserved it 7 609

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he'd like to dress me in a squirrel suit and chase me through the forest. This was the surprising result of a discussion on how to spice up our love life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 966

You deserved it 4 730

Today, while riding the bus, a creepy guy gave me the "rape glare" and another guy repeated every word to the conversation I was having with my friend under his breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 568

You deserved it 3 075

Today, I had my first kiss. It would have been great if I wasn't playing spin the bottle as a 23-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 623

You deserved it 399

Today, I talked to my boss about scheduling my urgently needed surgery. She asked me to wait until after Christmas, and told me that I should use vacation time instead of sick leave. She's also not going to give me the total paid time off my contract specifies, because it's "inconvenient." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 068

You deserved it 2 339

Today, I moved back home because I got laid off and could no longer afford my apartment. I decided to take a nap and when I woke up I overheard my Mom telling my Aunt that she used to be so proud of me and wonders when I became such a loser. Burn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 670

You deserved it 3 010

Same thing different taste

Wardrobe change please

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