Miscellaneous: Today, I showed my boyfriend the new tattoo of a butterfly that...

By lovebigmacs - 06/10/2009 23:32 - United States

Today, I showed my boyfriend the new tattoo of a butterfly that I'd gotten on my lower back. He said, "It looks like it's flying when your rolls jiggle." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 145

You deserved it 41 983

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Same thing different taste

Sign your name across my…?

By bitchonia - 28/03/2020 17:00 - Canada

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he'd think of me getting his initials tattooed over my heart. "That's awesome, babe," he answered enthusiastically. "But could you get them on your ass instead?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 1 614

By marquez_jasmine - 21/07/2012 15:08 - Canada - Kingston

Today, after feeling a little down about myself and looking for comfort from my boyfriend, he told me that my stretch marks make me look like a tiger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 483

You deserved it 3 727

Baby Got Back

By backfat - 18/05/2018 01:44

Today, while in bed, my fiancé rolled over in the dark and complimented me on my nice buttocks. He had actually grabbed a roll of back fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 695

You deserved it 1 100

By anonymous - 06/11/2010 22:37 - Canada

Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend in the dark, he grabbed onto a fat roll and asked, "Is this your stomach or boob?" I didn't have the heart to tell him it was a back roll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 253

You deserved it 26 843

By maybe dead in a day - 20/01/2013 19:28 - United States - Buffalo

Today, my boyfriend of three days met up with me at the movie theater, sporting a crude tattoo of my face on his cheek, along with a love heart and the word "forever." Looks like I'm single again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 879

You deserved it 4 251

The Conquest of Bread

By Anonymous - 26/04/2021 11:00 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around, tickling each other. He grabbed my stomach roll and told me it looked like a baguette. FML

I agree, your life sucks 858

You deserved it 265

By June - 05/10/2010 04:47 - United States

Today, my boyfriend grabbed my love handles. It tickled, so I giggled and squirmed out of his grip. He looked at me quizzically and said, "I'm surprised you still have feeling there with all that fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 881

You deserved it 8 833

By noname1025 - 04/09/2012 16:44 - United States - Lamar

Today, I realized my husband and I have been fighting a lot lately, so to show him how much I care, I got a tattoo with his name on it. He hates it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 613

You deserved it 54 181

By anon - 27/03/2013 23:17 - Netherlands - Swalmen

Today, I showed my aunt and mother my tattoo. They both burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 915

You deserved it 35 079

Roll with it

By anon - 17/09/2019 22:00

Today, my boyfriend encouragingly told me that he could tell I was losing weight, all because I had one roll fewer than usual on my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 508

You deserved it 311

Chantallika 0

Wednesday 7 October 2009 9:16

YDI for getting a tramp stamp, and of something as cheesy and overdone as a butterfly. That is all.

allmidnighteyes 10

Wednesday 7 October 2009 9:16

It can flap its wings when you're getting it doggy style :D Pretend you're flyingggg. wheeeeeeee Oh wait, you're too fat to fly...

Comments

Dharman117 0

Monday 26 October 2009 5:20

YDI for being fat

loveyahun 0

Thursday 26 November 2009 19:53

I'm afraid you just got dissed! OH!

Vegi 0

Monday 7 June 2010 16:53

YDI for getting a tramp stamp!

My2864 1

Friday 11 June 2010 2:14

so? lose weight or dont complain since its your own choice.. yet again not an fml just a lame ass story

smacckyy 0

Tuesday 15 June 2010 7:07

TRAMP STAMP!!

bahahaa1 0

Friday 16 July 2010 17:28

tramp stamp come on now that's a ridiculous stereotype, are we all still that imature.

21stoves 0

Monday 31 January 2011 8:21

animated .. aaahaha

thumbsucker1025 0

Friday 11 February 2011 20:06

loose some weight fat ass: your making america look bad.

xGTFx 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 13:12

a tramp stamp when u have rolls... thts si cheap and tacky

Alexxxxxxxxxxxxx_fml_fml 0

Tuesday 7 June 2011 4:04

it's not her fault? lol if she wanted it, she wanted it. he's the douche. you shoulda hit 'em! :D

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The Top

Today, I called back a number I'd recently missed a call from. To my surprise, it was my boyfriend's fiancée's number. I've been with him four years, he's been with her for six. Turns out, not only is he a cheating jerk, but technically I'M the other woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 135

You deserved it 4 975

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Feeling goofy, I thought it’d be funny to try to reenact that horrible sex scene from the movie Showgirls. I threw my body back, but completely lost my balance and smashed my head on the headboard. I ended up with a bad concussion and a huge hospital bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 2 157

The Top

Today, my daughter turned 18. She decided to use this day to tell me everywhere her and her boyfriends have had sex in my house to get revenge for being overprotective. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 562

You deserved it 63 142

Today, my future mother-in-law gave me advice on life. One piece of advice was that I should leave her son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 706

You deserved it 2 728

Today, my work finally hired someone to replace some leaky pipes. I work in the basement by myself, and just as I walked under the newly-fixed pipes, I got soaked with what appeared to be water. Apparently it was connected to a toilet. My boss couldn't find a replacement, so they made me work covered in piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 399

You deserved it 2 371

Today, I woke up next to my boyfriend. He gazed at me, stroked my cheek, and said, "Christ, you really need something for this acne." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 226

You deserved it 2 537

Today, I got pulled over for a traffic violation. Thinking I could get away with it, I spoke with a French accent. The officer then asked me a question in perfect French. I got a ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 411

You deserved it 56 085

Today, I asked my husband for the 1000th time to stop texting a woman he used to be friends with in high school, with whom he recently reconnected, and that I’m feeling neglected in this marriage. He responded by saying, “Fine! I guess I can’t have any friends then!” and took a hammer to his phone, breaking it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 347