Animals: Today, I smashed a spider with my pencil eraser. Later, I absentmindedly...

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By GetMeTheDamnBleach - 21/10/2014 19:46 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I smashed a spider with my pencil eraser. Later, I absentmindedly chewed on it while doing my homework. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 519

You deserved it 32 159

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Same thing different taste

By Heyme - 09/12/2008 13:50 - France

Today, I was working and eating. I was so tired that I bit into my pen and smeared my chocolate-filled pastry on my exercise book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 388

You deserved it 6 729

By scarred4life - 27/04/2011 14:05 - Canada

Today, I was absentmindedly playing with a piece of lint. When I looked at it, I realized that I had been rolling and squeezing a dead spider in my fingers for about five minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 837

You deserved it 19 102

By dumbblonde - 06/08/2009 03:04 - United States

Today, I was sitting at the computer when this really annoying fly kept landing on the keyboard. After a while, I took the bottom of a pen and squished it. Twenty minutes later I absentmindedly started chewing at the bottom of the pen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 276

You deserved it 62 338

By lorena_v - 10/11/2017 05:00

Today, I screamed at the top of my lungs in the middle of a math test because I saw a spider that wound up being a hairball. My teacher was incredibly sympathetic, taking off only five points for "disrupting our working environment". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 354

You deserved it 3 853

By somuchforthat - 19/02/2010 07:38 - Australia

Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 710

You deserved it 2 520

Best teeth in the game

By Nochnoii - 07/10/2009 20:07 - Belgium

Today, I was chewing my pen while I was paying attention to my teacher. I chewed a bit too hard, and something broke off, so I casually looked at my pen. It was unharmed. One of my front teeth had broken off. Everyone in class, including the teacher, had to see it before I could call my dentist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 667

You deserved it 13 259

By gaggin - 26/12/2012 19:30 - United States - Beverly Hills

Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 164

You deserved it 3 986

Happy meal

By ollierocks96 - 17/12/2009 21:43 - United States

Today, I was eating lunch outside with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 561

You deserved it 3 026

By Jesus - 27/09/2011 02:03 - Canada

Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 262

You deserved it 32 009

By Annie - 24/08/2015 08:46 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was laying on the couch, reading, when I noticed a spindly leg poking round the corner of my book. Upon realising it was a spider, I calmly and rationally threw my book across the room, breaking the TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 789

You deserved it 9 268

leaper66 12

Wednesday 22 October 2014 1:19

Hope it didn't taste too bad...

BeepBeepSwerve 9

Wednesday 22 October 2014 1:19

a little mid afternoon snack!

Comments

catanita 18

Wednesday 22 October 2014 8:13

A very good source of proteins.

GuiLD15 7

Wednesday 22 October 2014 10:38

why all the ydi points

katties 27

Wednesday 22 October 2014 17:38

Because it's the person's own fault for having such nasty habits

Baileysear488 17

Wednesday 22 October 2014 16:27

Its karma, the spider wants revenge. ;)

prettyinpinkxoxo 9

Wednesday 22 October 2014 16:31

Ew ew ew >__

winnizzo 7

Wednesday 22 October 2014 19:06

Lol pay back time

aine500 16

Wednesday 22 October 2014 19:22

I feel like throwing up now

megansheeran 21

Wednesday 22 October 2014 23:33

I really hope you washed your mouth out multiple times...ew.

Jaighalor 5

Thursday 23 October 2014 0:11

Solution, don't do homework...

beybmoo 15

Thursday 23 October 2014 2:18

It's called 'karma'.

Kimmy3214 9

Thursday 23 October 2014 23:51

Lol! ? sorry but this was too funny!

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I got busted by a cop for having sex in his car. When the cop sent us on our way, we went home and the garage was open, so we called the cops thinking someone was in the home. No one was in the house, and we got the same cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 133

You deserved it 9 368

Today, my boyfriend and I were out to eat. The waiter came and asked what we wanted. My boyfriend said he wanted a cheeseburger and I told the waiter I'd have the same. My boyfriend looked at me and said, "Are you sure you don't want a salad?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 781

You deserved it 8 268

The Top

Today, my boyfriend gave me a long, philosophical explanation about how he doesn't love me, but we should still have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 864

You deserved it 3 871

Today, I found out my boyfriend watches porn. Specifically, today, while I was in the shower. In the next room. We were alone in the house and he still chose porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 736

You deserved it 7 178

Today, I found out my girlfriend is talking to some guy from across the country. When I ask about it, she claims, "Oh he's just a friend, and won't talk to him anymore." Now she's doing it secretly and deleting messages. She has kids, and I care for them and her, but I don't know what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 069

You deserved it 175

Today, I walked into a gas station and saw some $.25 gum. It looked good and I thought I had a quarter in my pocket. I found no change in my pocket once I got to the register, so I pulled out my credit card. The cashier laughed a few seconds later when my card was declined for a piece of gum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 315

You deserved it 15 537

Today, my boyfriend emotionally proposed over dinner, and I said yes. Soon after he left, he tweeted, "I just fucked up...." and a few minutes later called me and claimed the proposal was a prank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 602

You deserved it 1 901

Today, I got mad at my parents and threatened to run away. Things got so bad that I packed a bag and left, planning to hide in my front yard to teach them a lesson. It's been two hours, and I'm still standing behind a bush in front of my house while they make no effort to look for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 671

You deserved it 49 336

Same thing different taste

Best teeth in the game

Happy meal

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