Miscellaneous: Today, I somehow managed to slam my trumpet case closed on my...

By MikeNick - 17/12/2011 07:59 - United States

Today, I somehow managed to slam my trumpet case closed on my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 711

You deserved it 9 798

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Same thing different taste

How? What?

By Anonymous - 14/07/2012 14:43 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, I managed to bruise my nipple by closing an umbrella on it. The stupidity of the whole thing hurts almost as much as the injury. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 666

You deserved it 5 192

By Display - 27/09/2012 04:10 - France - Paris

Today, I injured myself in the geekiest way possible; I managed to crush my nipple while closing my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 133

You deserved it 7 231

Slice of life

By Eleanor - 19/02/2017 23:00 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I tripped and fell on my open dishwasher, right onto a carving knife. I'm mostly ok, except that my nipple has been sliced neatly in half. Seriously, the two halves keep flapping open like a little mouth. It would be funnier if it wasn't so painful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 896

You deserved it 627

By Anonymous - 26/01/2012 16:45 - United States

Today, I accidentally slammed a door on my own arm flab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 002

You deserved it 32 366

By Anonymous - 18/01/2014 06:29 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 096

You deserved it 10 268

Carly Rae Jepsen

By Anonymous - 14/07/2024 23:00

Today, I was setting up a rat trap at the kitchen table and had just gotten it set when my phone rang. I foolishly leaned over to grab my phone, brushed against the trap, and it snapped closed on my nipple. I wasn’t wearing a bra so that thing grabbed my nipple hard and didn’t let go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 246

By Anonymous - 15/09/2010 21:20 - United States

Today, in marching band, the guy in front of me backed up too far. As we turned, the back of his trombone hit mine, smashing it into my lip. I had to finish the song, sending blood down my horn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 700

You deserved it 4 159

By anonymous - 04/08/2015 20:56 - United States - Ballwin

Today, while shaving in the shower, my mother banged on the bathroom door to tell me something, right as I went to shave under my left armpit, causing me to jump and cut open my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 643

You deserved it 2 057

By Luna - 22/07/2012 02:30 - United States - Carmel

Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 694

You deserved it 3 532

By DroppedTheSoap - 26/04/2019 04:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, while trying to sexily wash my man in the shower, I dropped the body wash bottle. The pump grazed my nipple, making it bleed. As if that didn't kill the mood, I now have a Star Wars bandaid on my boob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 987

You deserved it 331

Jays7 10

Saturday 17 December 2011 12:10

That's what you get for playing the Trumpet. Nah I joke, FYL indeed

AmberL 0

Saturday 17 December 2011 12:17

Ouch! I'm trying to picture this happening, and when I do, I see droopy man boobs getting in the way.

Comments

guitarhitman18 4

Sunday 18 December 2011 1:01

kinky

ALLDAY88 8

Sunday 18 December 2011 1:12

Who needs a nipple.

Torji 2

Sunday 18 December 2011 2:58

I dont understand these comments, he didnt have to be naked and probably wasnt, a case can still clamp through a shirt

NissanDriftKing 4

Sunday 18 December 2011 3:01

Your a dude... Get over it

NissanDriftKing 4

Sunday 18 December 2011 3:01

Your a dude... GET OVER IT

junabrown 2

Sunday 18 December 2011 4:34

Band camp?

jackie232 0

Sunday 18 December 2011 5:17

omg were you shirtless

dvldoc 1

Sunday 18 December 2011 5:27

This one time in band camp, we all would slam each others nipples in our music cases as a form of 4-play....

SILVERSTAR_6 17

Sunday 18 December 2011 5:55

Man, you must have some big nipples..lol

Poser1337 5

Sunday 18 December 2011 5:55

I believe the real question is, "Got milk?".

Keywords

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The Top

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 64

Today, I asked my son to keep my new girlfriend secret from his mom until our divorce was final, and he ran straight to her. She told the judge I was unfaithful and wants more money from our settlement. My son doesn't give a shit about snitching on me, because she's giving him a percentage of the new settlement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 1 847

The Top

Today, I got an allergic reaction to Nair. It was so bad I had to have my girlfriend take me to the hospital at 2am. Where was the allergic reaction? On my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 237

You deserved it 22 111

Today, I was hit on by a guy who decided to use the line, "My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 985

You deserved it 4 525

Today, I was washing my car, and I decided to be kind and to wash my elderly neighbor's car. As it turns out, her sunroof was open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 700

You deserved it 12 550

Today, I decided to go to a therapy group to help with my anxiety and to meet people who felt similar. I joked with my friend that no one would turn up as people might feel anxious about going. I was right. I was the only one there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 751

You deserved it 3 782

Today, I found out that my wife named our son after her ex boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 167

You deserved it 2 923

Today, I realized that my boss is able to read all the emails my coworker and I send each other. Most of them are about how she is such a shitty boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 145

You deserved it 43 277

Same thing different taste

How? What?

Slice of life

Carly Rae Jepsen

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