Today, while trying to sexily wash my man in the shower, I dropped...

By DroppedTheSoap - 26/04/2019 04:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, while trying to sexily wash my man in the shower, I dropped the body wash bottle. The pump grazed my nipple, making it bleed. As if that didn't kill the mood, I now have a Star Wars bandaid on my boob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 986

You deserved it 330

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Same thing different taste

By deerling - 06/03/2019 18:00

Today, while shaving I accidentally shaved of half of my left nipple. Worst of all? I didn't notice it until I looked down and saw blood everywhere. That's when the pain hit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 990

You deserved it 476

By anonymous - 04/08/2015 20:56 - United States - Ballwin

Today, while shaving in the shower, my mother banged on the bathroom door to tell me something, right as I went to shave under my left armpit, causing me to jump and cut open my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 643

You deserved it 2 057

Snowflake

By Bullocks - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Rochester

Today, while I was at work in a machine shop, I cut myself really bad. Not with any of the sharp tools, drills, or metals I work with. Just the soap dispenser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 572

You deserved it 4 535

By Anonymous - 24/11/2018 09:30 - United States - Henderson

Today, I decided to take a relaxing shower. My face mask made my face break out in hives. While exfoliating, my nipples became chafed. Then I slipped and cut myself while shaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 691

You deserved it 352

What a tit

By Anonymous - 17/01/2021 10:59 - United States - Farmingdale

Today, I stabbed myself in the nipple with scissors trying to cut an opening in the supposedly hands-free pumping bra I just bought. I breastfeed my 5-day-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 345

Bittie

By Alwayspotato - 11/07/2020 05:02

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend, he had his head on my chest and we both fell asleep. Suddenly, I woke up by my boyfriend biting my nipple, hard, in his sleep. I now need to go to the pharmacy because of a bleeding nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 538

You deserved it 184

Slice of life

By Eleanor - 19/02/2017 23:00 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I tripped and fell on my open dishwasher, right onto a carving knife. I'm mostly ok, except that my nipple has been sliced neatly in half. Seriously, the two halves keep flapping open like a little mouth. It would be funnier if it wasn't so painful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 896

You deserved it 627

By Loki16 - 02/06/2016 08:40 - United States - New York

Today, my girlfriend helped me apply liquid bandaid over an open wound. Unfortunately, she grabbed the liquid wart remover instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 521

You deserved it 757

By Anonymous - 22/03/2013 19:15 - Italy - Catanzaro

Today, while shaving my nether regions, I slipped and sliced myself in three separate places. They won't completely stop bleeding. I'm virtually having a second period, and it hurts to close my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 788

You deserved it 7 710

By paytonallyce - 03/10/2016 02:32 - United States - Springfield

Today, I got a bug bite on my boob. I scratched it so much it started bleeding so I put a bandaid on it. Turns out the band-aid had latex in it and I got an allergic reaction to it. The bug bite is still bleeding and the top half of my boob is swollen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 865

You deserved it 1 321

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 25 April 2019 21:04

What’s with all the nipple injury stories lately? I’m cramping up from the continual cringing. (I hope my enemies don’t see this.)

Shabnam Moghal 14

Thursday 25 April 2019 20:37

I'm not even sure what to say. But you probably wouldn't hear me above the laughter. Sorry.

Comments

Shabnam Moghal 14

Thursday 25 April 2019 20:37

I'm not even sure what to say. But you probably wouldn't hear me above the laughter. Sorry.

dasin 18

Thursday 25 April 2019 20:56

wait blood nipple play and star wars bandaid ruin the mood? LOL

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 25 April 2019 21:04

What’s with all the nipple injury stories lately? I’m cramping up from the continual cringing. (I hope my enemies don’t see this.)

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 25 April 2019 22:01

Yes, but you’re not my enemy. At least, that’s what I think.

Gubbon 17

Tuesday 30 April 2019 5:20

Now kiss?

0neiros 14

Wednesday 1 May 2019 22:07

Achilles Nipple sounds like a Star Wars character.

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Thursday 25 April 2019 22:57

The force was strong with the body wash bottle.

INDYSTRUCTABLE 43

Friday 26 April 2019 3:11

idk why i always cringe when women use the phrase "my man".

mekiswrite 21

Friday 26 April 2019 20:09

Role play! You can be Booba Fett!

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Saturday 27 April 2019 5:39

The Force was strong with that one! Sounds like you really felt it!

idragosani 15

Monday 29 April 2019 19:32

I'd say that band-aid is a bonus for your man!

0neiros 14

Wednesday 1 May 2019 22:25

Achilles Nipple sounds like a Star Wars character.

J15237 25

Tuesday 30 March 2021 21:45

Actually the star wars band aid on your nipple does sound a bit sexy. I would recommend putting one on the other nipple and playing it off as pasties.