Health: Today, I spent all day and last night in the bathroom. The seafood...

By Anonymous - 12/03/2010 21:44 - United Kingdom

Today, I spent all day and last night in the bathroom. The seafood I'd been keeping in the refrigerator apparently had gone bad, and is now intent on finding its every possible route to the Great Porcelain Whirlpool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 957

You deserved it 8 205

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Same thing different taste

By Numbass123 - 04/05/2014 17:17 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 447

You deserved it 11 656

Food for thought

By that’s what you get - 05/08/2020 17:02

Today, I warned my husband not to eat the seafood he'd left on the counter. He insisted it was fine. He’s now been in the bathroom shitting, puking and wailing for three hours. Our place is tiny and the bathroom is attached to our bedroom. The door doesn’t keep out the noise or the rancid smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 965

You deserved it 206

By fuuuuuh - 20/07/2012 05:47 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, my family of five and I decided to have homemade sushi. We did not prepare the fish correctly, and now we all have excruciating food poisoning. The worst part? We only have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 795

You deserved it 30 934

Get rid of the evidence!

By Anonymous - 18/08/2020 17:11

Today, while my roommate was taking a bath, I became horribly sick out of nowhere. Since the bathroom was occupied, I ended up having explosive diarrhea in an Amazon box in my bedroom, which I immediately ran out to the dumpster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 656

You deserved it 154

Stuck

By notmansbestfriend - 12/08/2013 16:09 - United States - Williamsburg

Today, I was stuck on the toilet for hours after eating some questionable seafood. During this time, I watched through the open door as my dog destroyed the nice shoes I just bought, as well as the tux I rented for my sister's wedding. The wedding is in 12 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 273

You deserved it 7 851

By ohray - 11/12/2014 16:09 - Turkey - Kibris

Today, I popped into the shower hoping to come out all warm and clean. Something was very wrong with the pipes, and I came out smelling like sewage instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 511

You deserved it 3 116

By shroooms - 28/07/2011 20:37 - Slovenia

Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 728

You deserved it 3 073

By Anonymous - 12/02/2013 18:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 315

You deserved it 3 321

Cringe

By mikesok988 - 07/05/2009 07:40 - United States

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 475

You deserved it 4 811

By shittysituation - 05/01/2015 06:27 - United States - Milpitas

Today, I came back from break to find that my roommate had been shitting in the bathtub for the entire 2 weeks I had been gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 535

You deserved it 3 130

RoxyRaccoon 4

Saturday 13 March 2010 2:34

I love the way this was worded. :}D

XxKeLs3yxX 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 2:28

that sucks

Comments

ninba20 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 7:59

i feel sorry for u but YDI for not checking the the expiration date first...

sabatical 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 8:05

down the tube and back to our drinking water.

ski_backwards 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 8:09

WHAT THE F@CK IS A OP

nessalujin 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 8:24

OP is an ''Original poster'' :)

lambiee 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 8:11

even though it's all nicely worded.. still lame. :/

okieraider71 4

Saturday 13 March 2010 8:19

Ever notice when you are hugging the porcelain how cool it always is? Like having a cool rag on your face. Comes in handy.

CharliePoops 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 8:34

FYL hopefully it's coming out your butt :O

iluvjk13 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 8:51

OP, and you had time between puking to post this? ...or during? O_o ew. I feel unsanitary. *disinfects* ahh... xD

sabatical 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 8:57

for the seafood lover in youuuuu

xHabsfanx 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 9:40

Lol I like your choice of words op. Fyl for spending all your day in a bathroom.

brucesgirl 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 10:45

hate poisoning worst feeling in the world

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The Top

Today, after giving me my very first orgasm, my boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about my orgasm face. Apparently it reminded him of the scene in The Exorcist with the possessed girl, and it really freaked him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 648

You deserved it 8 222

Today, I found a picture on my phone of me and my best friend that I didn't take. Turns out my dad did, from behind, and it got onto my Google photo backup, which means that he was logged in to my Gmail from his phone when he did it. And my family wonders why I don't trust them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 066

You deserved it 124

The Top

Today, my wife and I were doing it when the phone rang. She answered it, and rode me while carrying on a more than a five minute conversation with her father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 778

You deserved it 4 380

Today, I found out that the man I just married doesn't want to have children. We had this conversation multiple times with no problems before getting married, but now he would "rather die" than have children, because according to him, they would ruin his life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 971

You deserved it 5 807

Today, I dreamed a rat crawled up from the toilet and attacked me. Now I'm afraid to even enter the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 207

You deserved it 3 781

Today, I was working at a carnival. I was on the ticket booth, and middle-aged lady came up asking for a refund for $50 worth of tickets she didn’t use. However, there are signs saying I can’t give out refunds. She spent 10 minutes yelling at me to give her a refund. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 170

You deserved it 76

Today, I went to see a movie with my parents. During a sex scene, my dad covered my eyes. I'm married and have 2 kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 976

You deserved it 980

Today, I found out that the myth about what happens when you dream you're going to the toilet is not entirely untrue. At least for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 589

You deserved it 83