Health: Today, I spent all day and last night in the bathroom. The seafood...

By Anonymous - 12/03/2010 21:44 - United Kingdom

Today, I spent all day and last night in the bathroom. The seafood I'd been keeping in the refrigerator apparently had gone bad, and is now intent on finding its every possible route to the Great Porcelain Whirlpool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 958

You deserved it 8 206

The rhythm of the fight
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Same thing different taste

By Numbass123 - 04/05/2014 17:17 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 451

You deserved it 11 656

Food for thought

By that’s what you get - 05/08/2020 17:02

Today, I warned my husband not to eat the seafood he'd left on the counter. He insisted it was fine. He’s now been in the bathroom shitting, puking and wailing for three hours. Our place is tiny and the bathroom is attached to our bedroom. The door doesn’t keep out the noise or the rancid smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 971

You deserved it 206

By fuuuuuh - 20/07/2012 05:47 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, my family of five and I decided to have homemade sushi. We did not prepare the fish correctly, and now we all have excruciating food poisoning. The worst part? We only have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 796

You deserved it 30 937

Get rid of the evidence!

By Anonymous - 18/08/2020 17:11

Today, while my roommate was taking a bath, I became horribly sick out of nowhere. Since the bathroom was occupied, I ended up having explosive diarrhea in an Amazon box in my bedroom, which I immediately ran out to the dumpster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 661

You deserved it 155

Stuck

By notmansbestfriend - 12/08/2013 16:09 - United States - Williamsburg

Today, I was stuck on the toilet for hours after eating some questionable seafood. During this time, I watched through the open door as my dog destroyed the nice shoes I just bought, as well as the tux I rented for my sister's wedding. The wedding is in 12 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 278

You deserved it 7 853

By ohray - 11/12/2014 16:09 - Turkey - Kibris

Today, I popped into the shower hoping to come out all warm and clean. Something was very wrong with the pipes, and I came out smelling like sewage instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 513

You deserved it 3 117

By shroooms - 28/07/2011 20:37 - Slovenia

Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 729

You deserved it 3 076

By Anonymous - 12/02/2013 18:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 317

You deserved it 3 322

Cringe

By mikesok988 - 07/05/2009 07:40 - United States

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 484

You deserved it 4 813

By shittysituation - 05/01/2015 06:27 - United States - Milpitas

Today, I came back from break to find that my roommate had been shitting in the bathtub for the entire 2 weeks I had been gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 536

You deserved it 3 130

RoxyRaccoon 4

Saturday 13 March 2010 2:34

I love the way this was worded. :}D

XxKeLs3yxX 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 2:28

that sucks

Comments

Smilzen 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 3:41

Actually, I'd say your life is awesome--mainly because you still have one. Seafood kills 43% of the people who eat it, and the BAD seafood casualty rate is something like 99.7%. You also probably have at least three incurable parasitic infections of the testes now.

gotpromise 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 3:57

Loving these stats.

knibbsy 4

Saturday 13 March 2010 6:36

I wonder if those are the same parasites that cause non-uniform male Fallopian tube growth which have an odor comparable to nutella and the texture of a graphing calculator? I'm pretty sure about that one.

amymarie13 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 15:50

I don't believe those statistics. if they were true seafood would be rare or illegal

fml_2015 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 3:42

Thats not that bad

mickle1026 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 3:50

you've been worshiping the porcelin gid? lmao xDxD

Epic_Phale615 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 4:01

fyl, but the wording is funniez as hell, roflcopter.

astro_plastic 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 4:07

Aww, the mods didn't appreciate my bulimia joke. How about they delete all the woman/gay jokes too then? First amendment my ass.

perdix 29

Saturday 13 March 2010 6:40

a_p, you've got to learn FML's G-spots (aka the GTFO spots). It turns out that mentioning specific diseases gets your stuff kicked off with extreme prejudice. Remember the one a few days ago about the boyfriend who suddenly went OMNOMNOMNOM while kissing the OP. I suggested that he may have a mild form of the syndrome that starts with T and rhymes with barrettes. It was actually an informed guess. You know what the FML mods thought of it? GTFO!

Intoxicunt 5

Saturday 13 March 2010 11:03

Didi should really consider changing that pic. :D

imjaysaysno 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 4:16

That's why once your suposte to eat sea food right away, it doesn't keep well.

Miko159 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 4:21

Dude fyl for sure, for having the Screaming *****.

yuesler 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 4:33

gosh.

kathyfan 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 4:47

Whats with all these FML's where the people try to say something clever in the end? So annoying!!

Kiara41 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 5:42

Obviously the admins enjoy the "creative spark". It's probably the only reason why a lot of these recent ones are published. Anyway, OP, don't keep seafood in the fridge. *facepalm* How's that for post-cognition?