Miscellaneous: Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take...

By Tootsy_Roll_Pop - 23/05/2009 16:15 - United States

Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 257

You deserved it 23 275

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Same thing different taste

By htothecr - 03/05/2009 21:05 - United States

Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 205

You deserved it 141 024

By mk - 20/06/2009 05:47 - Canada

Today, I had a big craving for a popsicle so I went to a convenience store and bought one. On my first bite, my upper lip got stuck to it. I ripped it off and spent the next 10 minutes trying to stop the bleeding from the giant cut I'd put in my lip. It hurt too much to finish the popsicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 421

You deserved it 13 434

By doesntkissalot - 28/08/2010 16:19 - United States

Today, I was watching TV when a Dentyne gum commercial came on and stated that the average person spends more than 20,000 minutes kissing. I've spent less than three. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 332

You deserved it 6 080

By ouch - 05/10/2015 19:20 - United States - Stockton

Today, I cracked my tooth. I was so tired I put my pretzel stick in my tea and took a bite out of my spoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 876

You deserved it 3 769

By Snotmyfault - 11/01/2009 14:33 - United States

Today, at the age of 22, I started eating my boogers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 571

You deserved it 49 374

By SonofMnemosyne - 19/11/2018 07:30 - United States

Today, I have been on the toilet all day due to chocolate laxatives from trick-or-treating. Today, it is my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 534

You deserved it 315

By Wraith - 06/11/2013 17:27 - Canada - Holland Landing

Today, because I'm tall enough to see over the cubicle walls at work, I witnessed my 50-year-old co-worker pulling his finger out of his nose and immediately popping it into his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 702

You deserved it 4 803

What am I doing?

By janesays - 24/02/2010 07:45 - United States

Today, my 2 year-old had a large booger blocking his nose so I pulled it out. I was on the phone and absentmindedly rolling it around between my thumb and pointer finger. I put it in my mouth and crushed it between my teeth for a solid minute before I remembered what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 592

You deserved it 66 557

By pathetic - 06/11/2013 13:04 - United States - Lincoln

Today, my grocery shopping consisted of Poptarts, SpaghettiOs, Lucky Charms, Popsicles, Easy Mac, and Twinkies. I'm a 25-year-old woman with no kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 992

You deserved it 22 596

By Wormy - 11/05/2009 19:45 - United States

Today, I bit into a Reese's Cup that had been sitting on my desk for a while. As I did, half of a yellow meal worm fell out and landed in front of me, the other half was in my mouth. It was wiggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 216

You deserved it 30 435

Ilovelife07 0

Saturday 23 May 2009 23:13

Serves that asshole Mr. Owl right, somebody was bound to foil his plans to keep the answer from the world

starbucks14 0

Saturday 23 May 2009 23:06

I wouldn't have wasted my entire day on that but i think the fact that you accomplished something like that is kind of cool, then again I'm 15. &hearts;

Comments

questforsteve 0

Thursday 20 May 2010 21:56

I got to the center in 249 licks once.

YANKSFAN4EVER 0

Thursday 3 June 2010 14:18

That's kinda cool. I gave up at 10. Lol.

xmiriamx 0

Sunday 13 June 2010 5:48

that kool lol!!

katieann 0

Tuesday 3 August 2010 0:52

you're my hero!!!!!

RommpinCrab 0

Monday 27 September 2010 4:30

I got it in 478. :P

BeastNerd 3

Sunday 5 December 2010 11:11

Can you YELL no-life?

destinylove9 0

Sunday 9 January 2011 13:14

lmao ahahah

assburgers 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 0:53

Doesn't matter how old you are, it's always good to suck on round things

my_names_nico 0

Tuesday 15 March 2011 5:44

I d

slimjadey013 0

Sunday 20 March 2011 18:29

i agree TOTAL WIN

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 021

You deserved it 21 113

Today, my girl was giving me a BJ when my dog started howling. She keeps going; my dog keeps howling. She stops, my dog stops. We start getting it on again and my girl starts giving me a BJ again; my dog starts howling louder this time. So we stop. My dog stopped me from getting some. This is a first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 123

You deserved it 244

The Top

Today, after nearly 19 years, my Facebook account was permanently disabled because I'd banned too many scammers. I admin 58 groups, for over 2 million members, and have banned 50k+ fake accounts. One of them apparently reported me, and since Facebook runs some fake accounts, it was easier to ban me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 512

You deserved it 151

Today, at the supermarket, a man collapsed. I gave CPR while the cashier called for help. During this, the other patrons were complaining that no other register was open. Once the ambulance arrived, I returned to my cart to find items removed and 40 dollars taken from my purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 574

You deserved it 4 062

Today, after my wife gave birth to another of our daughters, she announced that this was the last one. When I reminded her I still needed a son to carry on my name, she replied, "Well, you've got four girls. You want a boy? Birth him yourself!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 1 726

Today, someone rang my doorbell. The moment I opened the door, a smell not unlike a cascading torrent of rotting flesh and urine hit my nostrils. I stood there for an eternity as a homeless man leaned on my door and desperately tried to convince me to buy an array of scrap metal from him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 036

You deserved it 3 496

Today, I got 3 different rejection letters mailed to me from the same college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 776

You deserved it 3 102

Today, I was called in over speakers at the airport. The man who was speaking clearly and nearly burst out laughing when he said my name. Soon, a few people around also snickered when they heard it. I had to wait five minutes before I could casually stand up. My last name is Bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 520

You deserved it 3 809

Same thing different taste

What am I doing?

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