Miscellaneous: Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take...

By Tootsy_Roll_Pop - 23/05/2009 16:15 - United States

Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 257

You deserved it 23 275

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Same thing different taste

By htothecr - 03/05/2009 21:05 - United States

Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 205

You deserved it 141 024

By mk - 20/06/2009 05:47 - Canada

Today, I had a big craving for a popsicle so I went to a convenience store and bought one. On my first bite, my upper lip got stuck to it. I ripped it off and spent the next 10 minutes trying to stop the bleeding from the giant cut I'd put in my lip. It hurt too much to finish the popsicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 421

You deserved it 13 434

By doesntkissalot - 28/08/2010 16:19 - United States

Today, I was watching TV when a Dentyne gum commercial came on and stated that the average person spends more than 20,000 minutes kissing. I've spent less than three. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 332

You deserved it 6 080

By ouch - 05/10/2015 19:20 - United States - Stockton

Today, I cracked my tooth. I was so tired I put my pretzel stick in my tea and took a bite out of my spoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 876

You deserved it 3 769

By Snotmyfault - 11/01/2009 14:33 - United States

Today, at the age of 22, I started eating my boogers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 571

You deserved it 49 374

By SonofMnemosyne - 19/11/2018 07:30 - United States

Today, I have been on the toilet all day due to chocolate laxatives from trick-or-treating. Today, it is my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 534

You deserved it 315

By Wraith - 06/11/2013 17:27 - Canada - Holland Landing

Today, because I'm tall enough to see over the cubicle walls at work, I witnessed my 50-year-old co-worker pulling his finger out of his nose and immediately popping it into his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 702

You deserved it 4 803

What am I doing?

By janesays - 24/02/2010 07:45 - United States

Today, my 2 year-old had a large booger blocking his nose so I pulled it out. I was on the phone and absentmindedly rolling it around between my thumb and pointer finger. I put it in my mouth and crushed it between my teeth for a solid minute before I remembered what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 592

You deserved it 66 557

By pathetic - 06/11/2013 13:04 - United States - Lincoln

Today, my grocery shopping consisted of Poptarts, SpaghettiOs, Lucky Charms, Popsicles, Easy Mac, and Twinkies. I'm a 25-year-old woman with no kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 992

You deserved it 22 596

By Wormy - 11/05/2009 19:45 - United States

Today, I bit into a Reese's Cup that had been sitting on my desk for a while. As I did, half of a yellow meal worm fell out and landed in front of me, the other half was in my mouth. It was wiggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 216

You deserved it 30 435

Ilovelife07 0

Saturday 23 May 2009 23:13

Serves that asshole Mr. Owl right, somebody was bound to foil his plans to keep the answer from the world

starbucks14 0

Saturday 23 May 2009 23:06

I wouldn't have wasted my entire day on that but i think the fact that you accomplished something like that is kind of cool, then again I'm 15. &hearts;

Comments

Compass 0

Sunday 24 January 2010 1:54

I don't have enough patience to count. I just keep it in my mouth until it melts away completely, ocassionally taking it out to re-savor it.

Kirashai 9

Monday 1 February 2010 3:47

Knowledge is wealth ;]

bonnieandclyde44 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 2:44

you are AMAZING!

Khurlyyy 0

Wednesday 3 February 2010 21:20

You have NO lifeeee, lol

lilbri 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 1:23

at least you found out an answer to a time old question

Mahyar 2

Thursday 18 February 2010 4:45

Awesome

swimspy 3

Saturday 20 February 2010 17:47

NO TOTAL LIE it takes 525 :)

Crowcaller 5

Sunday 4 April 2010 5:32

it's actually 1736

benners 0

Friday 16 April 2010 5:50

now someone needs to figure out what hotdogs are made of........oh,yea, thats right

kelliejellie 3

Saturday 15 May 2010 22:07

FTW!

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The Top

Today, my 4 year-old daughter was looking at a magazine cover with a well endowed model showing off her cleavage. She looked at me and said, "Mommy, when I grow up, will I have big round boobies like her or tiny pointy ones like you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 556

You deserved it 4 813

Today, I arrived at a camp and met one of my roommates. At bedtime, I had energy still, so I did push-ups. The guy was asleep or so I thought because he was facing the wall. The guy thought I was jacking off and told everyone I did it in the middle of our room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 863

You deserved it 2 846

The Top

Today, I spent hours delicately writing out what seemed to be a beautiful poem to my girlfriend. After I sent it to her, I kept eyeing my phone to see her surprised message. No, the only response I got was, "You may want to use a spellcheck." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 052

You deserved it 26 278

Today, I had to pee badly. I went into a stall and sat down. Only until after I'd peed, I realized that I didn't have any toilet paper. I waddled to the next stall with my pants down to get more toilet paper, believing that the bathroom was empty. It wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 129

You deserved it 53 797

Today, I texted my friend asking if he'd like to join my "porno group". I meant promo. I quickly texted back correcting the mistake, but not before I received the nudes he sent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 941

You deserved it 4 748

Today, I got stoned with the clowns at the birthday party I took my niece to. This is a new low point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 1 004

Today, my six-year-old daughter organized a treasure hunt… for our cat. She hid the contents of an entire bag of cat food all around the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 633

You deserved it 976

Today, I was out for a walk with my family when we saw a sign that read "you are here." That's when my son asked, "how do they know where we are?" My son is 14 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 168

You deserved it 495

Same thing different taste

What am I doing?

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