Health: Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but...

By Aliiiice - 16/07/2013 13:18 - France - Offranville

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 681

You deserved it 35 930

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Same thing different taste

By jsmills92 - 21/12/2012 00:26 - United States - Cranston

Today, I once again walked in on my husband eating our cat's food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 424

You deserved it 4 454

By Username - 16/12/2011 06:31 - Canada

Today, I hit a new low when I caught myself eating the chocolates that were meant to be part of my boyfriend's Christmas presents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 656

You deserved it 33 241

By OldHabitsDieHard - 18/09/2013 14:53 - United States - Erie

Today, I was getting my cat some canned food. Out of habit I licked the spoon after I had emptied the can only to realize too late what I had done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 720

You deserved it 18 763

By Aled - 17/02/2011 16:33 - United Kingdom

Today, I found my mom eating cat biscuits. We don't have a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 834

You deserved it 3 333

By Emmaraine189 - 28/04/2016 02:22 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I saw my cat licking something on the side of the road and went to check what it was. It was someone's old cigarette. I now know why she wants to be let out so often: She's addicted to nicotine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 390

You deserved it 1 308

By Hairball - 01/09/2009 18:05 - United States

Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 451

You deserved it 404 859

By Anonymous - 07/07/2011 22:52 - United States

Today, I helped myself to some homemade biscuits that had been left in the kitchen. I thought they looked a little odd, but they tasted pretty good. I found out later they were homemade dog treats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 500

You deserved it 30 649

Yummy

By Sisi - 29/08/2016 16:49 - United States - Mesa

Today, my roommate left a bomb looking package of cookies on the kitchen counter. My sweet tooth got the best of me and I made that split second decision of, "Oh, I'll just have one." Halfway through it, I noticed the fine print, "For dogs" on the package. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 519

You deserved it 11 330

Willpower

By Anonymous - 11/09/2019 14:00

Today, I started my new health kick with granola for breakfast, salad for lunch, and hitting the gym after work. I was so proud of myself, until I couldn’t take it anymore and binged at McDonald’s. My health kick lasted 11 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 782

You deserved it 1 782

By Michelle - 26/04/2010 21:42 - New Zealand

Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash the KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 714

You deserved it 17 354

ShananaginsLOL 13

Tuesday 16 July 2013 19:01

I love the way you worded that.

TheLadyOpal 30

Tuesday 16 July 2013 19:01

Oh, now THIS is an FML I'd like to see a comic for.

Comments

KingreX32 21

Tuesday 16 July 2013 19:16

well that's better than smoking and drinking anyways.

nicolegrace8925 9

Tuesday 16 July 2013 19:18

you gotta be kitten me

uoeno_fml 20

Tuesday 16 July 2013 19:18

Aliiiiiice don't eat the cat food

Whodat2013 9

Tuesday 16 July 2013 19:20

Well did you diserve the treats?

lolo717 17

Tuesday 16 July 2013 19:22

May I ask how this started??? but best of luck quitting OP!!

strike2867 13

Tuesday 16 July 2013 20:08

And assuming you started and had a problem, why would you tell anyone?

lightanddark 17

Tuesday 16 July 2013 19:23

LOL i love the suspenseful fml

Obey_StudBoii 23

Tuesday 16 July 2013 19:26

Whoa lol. I just woke up and I'm trying to read this. Did I just read what I think I did?

TheHeavyOne 15

Tuesday 16 July 2013 19:26

Well written! Milk bones (for dogs) are the best in my opinion.

graceinsheepwear 33

Tuesday 16 July 2013 19:27

Cat's got your tongue, huh?

frip_fml 9

Tuesday 16 July 2013 19:27

I'd rather eat cat biscuits than snails.

Keywords

Love Christmas Break-ups Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Relatable Work You're fired Cars Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids Family Cats DIY Sex Roommate Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, I learned the meaning behind the phrase, "Love you long time". It's from the movie Full Metal Jacket, when a hooker comes in and says, "Me so horny, me love you long time." I've been saying this to my parents and people at school, having no idea what it really means for over 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 784

You deserved it 22 714

Today, my mom kicked me out of the house because I missed my curfew and overslept at my boyfriend’s house. She said she’d let me back in on one condition: that I was still a virgin. My boyfriend’s parents won’t let me live with him. I’m currently staying in the Walmart restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 315

The Top

Today, the father of my unborn child got laid off. Without a work visa, he may have to leave the country before this baby even arrives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 220

You deserved it 6 265

Today, I cleaned the toilet so vigorously that I snapped the handle of the brush. I laughed and told the rest of my family. Instead of joining in on the hilarity, my mother screamed, "We have had that toilet brush for twenty-six years!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 447

You deserved it 3 086

Today, I was so tired that I fell asleep on a bus. When I awoke suddenly, half of the bus was staring at me, with some people chuckling and smiling. I have no idea what I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 000

You deserved it 5 356

Today, my parents switched phone companies, which changed the phone number. Two days ago, I dropped off over 15 job applications with my 'old' number on all of them. There is a waiting period before I can reapply anywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 613

You deserved it 4 228

Today, I was at my 10-year high school reunion. I saw the girl I used to have a BIG crush on, so I decided to go over and say hi. She screamed when she saw me. Then she started hitting me, looking panicked. I calmed her down and asked why she hit me. She says, "Everyone thought you were dead"' FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 826

You deserved it 2 804

Today, I was helping my dad move into his new house. It's a 4-bedroom house and he has three kids so it's perfect. I was wandering around and noticed that the first bedroom is his, the second is my older brother's, the third is my younger sister's, and the fourth is an office. I have no room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 981

You deserved it 3 334

Same thing different taste

Yummy

Willpower

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