Intimacy: Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband....

By 404: fuck not given - 23/11/2014 16:34 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband. I tried turning him on by telling him I wanted his cock. He cheerfully replied without looking away from the TV, "If only I gave a fuck, babe, if only I gave a fuck!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 056

You deserved it 5 593

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Same thing different taste

By erjazo - 31/12/2013 21:19 - United States - Morris

Today, I was watching TV with my husband, and he started getting frisky. When the commercial break started, we started having sex. When he came, there were still two commercials left before the show resumed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 286

You deserved it 6 858

By sarajj - 29/03/2013 21:36 - United States - Littleton

Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 688

You deserved it 9 296

By giantcuntflaps - 13/12/2014 16:03 - Australia

Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 530

You deserved it 6 871

I'm horny, horny horny horny

By Anonymous - 08/07/2022 12:00

Today, I got home horny as all ready to jump my husband, until I saw him asleep in his armchair with his gut hanging out his belt, his dinner down his vest, no pants on, and scratching his balls in his sleep. I’m no longer horny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 368

You deserved it 363

Revealing

By kitkat545 - 15/06/2009 23:18 - United States

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 079

You deserved it 51 000

By Username - 18/03/2010 08:21 - France

Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 578

You deserved it 49 782

By Velian - 09/12/2008 08:59 - France

Today, I began to undress my wife, who was watching TV, and gave her a massage to relax her while she watched her soap. 20 minutes later, when the programme came to an end, she said "I wish you'd let me watch TV in peace!". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 651

You deserved it 4 734

By Anonymous - 09/01/2014 17:59 - United States - Imperial

Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 088

You deserved it 7 767

By Anonymous - 25/02/2012 03:07 - United States

Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 077

You deserved it 61 385

By unwantedlove - 25/02/2011 18:36 - France

Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling on the couch watching TV when we started kissing. As I crawled onto his lap and started to unzip his pants, he said, "You're blocking the TV." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 159

You deserved it 6 912

nunn245 10

Monday 24 November 2014 0:12

I can now say I've heard that phrase in the literal sense

devildog562 33

Monday 24 November 2014 0:12

Do it yourself. Sounds like his **** is chicken.

Comments

isabellasimone 18

Monday 24 November 2014 0:33

Haaha yikes!!

quickit 24

Monday 24 November 2014 0:35

Not a single **** was given on that day.

Murilirum 23

Monday 24 November 2014 0:43

Sounds like he's been turned down enough times to put him off quite a bit.. :/ I do like his wording though, creatively FML-y.

juturnaamo 29

Monday 24 November 2014 0:46

Guys get turned down all the time, but as soon as it happens to a woman, it's practically newsworthy.

iiTzNeeNerz 26

Monday 24 November 2014 1:03

It's usually FML worthy because guys tend to be rude *****. I mean, there's turning someone down and there's being a total dick about it.

EffyFails 18

Monday 24 November 2014 1:15

never turn my guy down he claims to have a very high sex drive but honestly don't think it's high enough haha

Nilorak 24

Monday 24 November 2014 7:21

Ok...

OysterPearls 33

Monday 24 November 2014 7:47

It's not that a girl getting turned down is particularly "newsworthy", it's the rude (though humorous) way in which he turned her down. This wouldn't be an FML if he hadn't said what he said.

DarksideDoll 31

Friday 5 December 2014 20:42

Tired of seeing this comment every time something is posted about a guy not wanting sex. We get it. Besides, it was his cheeky reply that made it "newsworthy".

foundationsk8 4

Monday 24 November 2014 0:47

What was he watch

Clioo_fml 17

Monday 24 November 2014 23:50

ing?

Arcanel 18

Monday 24 November 2014 1:09

Damn he just went in on you for no reason sorry to hear that OP. But you have to admit his wording was hysterical. I'm guessing his sense of humor is one of the things you liked enough to marry him huh? better luck next time trying to get some tho !