Miscellaneous: Today, I started to tell my step-dad about a funny video I came... - FML

By Anonymous - 14/11/2015 11:47 - United States - Taunton

Spicy

Today, I started to tell my step-dad about a funny video I came across online last night. He cut me off by saying, "Yeah? Well I came across your mom's face last night!" then left for work with a shit-eating grin on his face. I could've gone the rest of my life without knowing that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 362

You deserved it 2 070

Back to school: Courses and confusion
When the campus comes back to life, anecdotes abound between the lecture halls and student parties! More…

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Same thing different taste

By peaaaak - 03/06/2011 10:17 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my dad came round to the house. Looking rather pleased with himself he pulled out his phone, grinned, and chucked it over to me. I glanced at the screen to see a naked woman. He smiled and said "I tapped that last night". FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 210

You deserved it 5 052

Red Right Hand

By Hollerz90 - 02/04/2020 23:00

Spicy

Today, I came home to find my dad in my room, watching porn on my computer. When I asked him what he was doing, he closed the computer, stood up, stared at me awkwardly and then said, "You should really avoid those sites" and left my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 201

You deserved it 206

By Anonymous - 26/06/2015 18:08 - Russian Federation - Moscow

Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 347

You deserved it 41 582

By Noname - 06/02/2009 18:25 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found some porn videos in my parents room. I put them in and began to toss off, but as the camera moved up I realized it was my mom and my step-dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 739

You deserved it 52 778

By Anonymous - 08/08/2015 05:18 - Canada

Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 549

You deserved it 2 159

Caught in 1080p

By wtf - 16/05/2014 22:25 - Australia - Narangba

Spicy

Today, I started watching porn in my room with the volume muted. A minute later, my dad knocked on the door, so I closed everything and called him in. He just said, "Son, you disgust me." and walked out. Now I'm too paranoid to use my own computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 635

You deserved it 14 994

**** addiction

By Anonymous - 03/04/2021 12:00 - United States - Boise

Spicy

Today, I was recording a video on Snapchat to send to one of my friends, while unaware that my father had walked in behind me. I was talking about how I can’t watch porn anymore because my phone is broken. He now knows too much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 1 366

By HeIsKindaRightTho - 16/09/2014 04:31 - United States - Houghton

Today, I video-chatted with my mom and showed her my new, very short haircut. My dad walked in, took one look at me and said, "I can only attribute this to penis envy," and walked out again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 332

You deserved it 4 929

By missyoudad. - 31/08/2010 07:54 - Australia

Today, I Googled my father, who I haven't seen in 3 years. The first website link was his obituary. When I confronted my mom about it, she said, "Oh, didn't I tell you?" and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 528

You deserved it 2 865

Great joke Dad, thanks

By Anonymous - 05/07/2014 17:53 - United States

Spicy

Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say, "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 889

You deserved it 7 909

Next

Top comments

loko0909 13

Sunday 15 November 2015 6:01

That's a lovely mental picture to have there.

djdeadly 14

Sunday 15 November 2015 6:16

Punch him. Then say he didn't see that coming

Comments

Badkarma4u 17

Monday 16 November 2015 20:40

If only he was holding a microphone. He could have dropped it before walking off.

ericp96 10

Tuesday 17 November 2015 6:18

You coulda told him to go f himself And make sure he don't disrespect your mom like that ever again

BlaqMontana 16

Wednesday 18 November 2015 17:59

What a Jerk!!

Demonic_Daze 6

Thursday 19 November 2015 4:55

That sucks dude. I beat my step dad for making out with my mom in front of me. demand that respect.

OrganicSistah 17

Thursday 19 November 2015 5:31

That was ****** up what he said to you. But that shit was funny as hell!! I read that like 8 times still laughing. Lmfao

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The Top

Today, while on a blind date, I told her in no uncertain terms that if I got married, my wife would need to be a housewife. She burst out laughing and asked, "Dude, do you even HAVE a house?" and walked out laughing when I said I didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 1 163

Today, my doorbell rang while I was still in bed. I leapt out and immediately got a severe cramp in one leg, then, staggering around trying to throw some clothes on, I scraped the other leg badly enough to draw blood. When I got to the door there was nobody there, just a parcel on the doorstep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 693

You deserved it 2 180

The Top

Today, it's my 21st birthday. The only person who drank with me was my elementary school principal, who I happened to run into at a bar where we were the only two people there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 953

You deserved it 200

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, I got up to get some water. When I stood up, I fell straight to the ground, my legs were so weak. As I fell, I hit my head on the end table and knocked myself unconscious. My boyfriend laughed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 018

You deserved it 4 388

Today, I went into my classroom to find a bag of shit on my desk with a note saying, "Thanks for failing me b*tch!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 212

You deserved it 7 528

Today, at 2:30 a.m. I got locked out of my room. I knocked upstairs to get my landlady to give me the spare key. Instead, I woke up the dogs next door who wanted to kill me, so I hid for 5 hours in the enclosed trampoline with some outdoor blankets. They were covered in animal piss. It rained. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 070

You deserved it 687

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my family. Over the next hour, a huge religious debate erupted, and my grandfather drunkenly told us all how he almost killed himself once while experimenting with auto-erotic asphyxiation. My boyfriend called us all crazy and seems to have dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 920

You deserved it 5 566

Today, my roommate made out with this guy I kind of had a thing for. It wasn't a big deal to sober me, but drunk me wasn't having it. I drank half a bottle of vodka, punched a hole in a wall, and cried while laying on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 532

You deserved it 5 502