Work: Today, I started work cleaning a customer's pool. I think her...

By cock blocked - 22/04/2015 15:44 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I started work cleaning a customer's pool. I think her husband watches too much porn because he keeps glaring at me from the windows, and I overheard him telling his wife that he knows what's "going on" and that he's "not gonna let it happen". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 145

You deserved it 2 474

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Same thing different taste

By :(( - 25/04/2012 18:46 - United States - Saint Petersburg

Today, I heard my neighbors having a violent argument in their front yard. I listened in, and soon found out why the wife wasn't happy with her husband. Apparently, she had caught her husband peeking through my windows for the second time this month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 922

You deserved it 2 397

Mega creep

By Anonymous - 30/12/2019 18:00

Today, I met a new guy at work who wouldn't stop hitting on me. We ended up on a six-hour shift together watching a pool, so we were wearing nothing but bathing suits when he began grabbing me inappropriately. When I confided in my female coworker about it, she told me that he was her husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 175

You deserved it 205

By Anonymous - 16/08/2017 13:00

Today, after house sitting for my neighbor, I realized that he has a camera pointed at my pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 197

You deserved it 285

By TmWhisp - 13/05/2016 10:02 - United States

Today, I found out what my husband meant when he said he "accidentally installed an indoor pool" last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 51

By TheDeathguard - 20/07/2017 20:05

Today, a couple yelled at me and reported me to the homeowner association for "watching them make out" at the pool. I'm the lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 705

You deserved it 293

Nice.

By crunch time - 01/01/2018 19:30 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, while working out at the gym, I paused to check out a beautiful woman. The guy behind me said "Are you going to do your set or are you going to keep staring at my wife?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 119

You deserved it 6 663

Leave them alone

By Anonymous - 23/07/2009 11:13 - Greece

Today, I said to our pool-boy, "I know what you're doing, and you have to stop it." He started shouting that I had no right to tell them what to do and that they were in love. He was referring to his relationship with my eldest son. I wanted to tell him to stop drinking my beers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 632

You deserved it 8 831

STOP!

By lamelifeguard - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Morrison

Today, someone at my workplace yelled at me and filed a complaint for staring at them too often. I'm a lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 097

You deserved it 4 473

Funny guy

By stillembarrassed - 06/08/2013 17:01 - United Kingdom

Today, the window cleaner did his rounds at my house. I sat at my mirror applying makeup and doing my hair. When he came to my window, he yelled rather loudly, "Stop putting on a show for me, you dirty slut!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 433

You deserved it 6 688

By babyeaternomnom - 30/06/2012 16:22 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I caught my elderly neighbour skinny-dipping in my pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 887

You deserved it 2 326

MyDadLeftMeInKFC 21

Thursday 23 April 2015 0:40

Just don't let him catch you trying to clean her filter.

gladlily 16

Thursday 23 April 2015 0:41

I feel sorry for the wife for more reasons than one if he thinks that **** is a realistic depiction of anything...

Comments

joelp232 17

Thursday 23 April 2015 1:51

at that point you should have taken off your shirt ?

gintwinsmoore 20

Thursday 23 April 2015 1:51

hilarious!

ihatedouchbags 17

Thursday 23 April 2015 1:56

Apparently, so do you!

TiggyBonkers 32

Thursday 23 April 2015 2:01

Maybe try being the pizza man next time!

oobergoober89 16

Thursday 23 April 2015 5:04

With an 80s porno mustache "Excuse me ma'am, I've got some hot sausage ready for delivery"

interesting33 36

Thursday 23 April 2015 2:05

He might be talking about something or someone else, or it could be an abusive relationship

interesting33 36

Thursday 23 April 2015 14:19

I did, but I added that he could have been talking about something else. Shouldn't have repeated myself though

TayTay909 12

Thursday 23 April 2015 2:21

He must have been a desperate house wives fan

grumblebum 16

Thursday 23 April 2015 2:22

Next time start flirting with him

daemonsparta 16

Thursday 23 April 2015 2:40

he watched too much OLD ****, nobody makes poolboy **** anymore

JokerJ312 23

Thursday 23 April 2015 4:48

That's not true. They definitely still do

captainsmegma 12

Thursday 23 April 2015 2:43

Tomorrow take a boom box and play some 70's **** music. Wear a thong and don't forget to manscape.

mccrightp 29

Thursday 23 April 2015 3:23

I'll bet the husband never orders pizza either. Sausage or otherwise!

Keywords

Money Health Kids Christmas You're fired Work Bodyshaming Customers Fat Am I overreacting? Social Media Love Facebook AITA Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Education Relatable Students Technology Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends

The Top

Today, my brother and sister-in-law come over ONLY to use up the resources at our house - like food, TV subscriptions, and other items. They claim to love my kids and come over for them. If only they would look up from their phone and spend actual time with the kids. Is there a way to block toxic relatives? FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 109

Today, wanting to break up with my boyfriend, I invited him to dinner with my parents. I was sure they'd hate him, which would give me the excuse I needed. They ended up loving him, and now they won't stop mentioning marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 729

You deserved it 53 106

The Top

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of almost four years was breaking up with me when she captioned an Instagram post saying, "Who else besides me is going into 2018 single?" I had already bought an engagement ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 317

You deserved it 346

Today, my best friend of 10 years blocked me for no reason. When I went to her house to ask why she did it and apologize for whatever it was, she told me to kill myself and slammed the door. I still don't know what I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 148

You deserved it 352

Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 497

You deserved it 6 098

Today, I can't decide what's worse: the fact that my mother found my vibrator or that, as a prank, she replaced it with a realistic tarantula replica. She won't tell me where it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 259

You deserved it 5 005

Today, I was alone at my dad's house. I was furiously masturbating when I knocked something over. It was my grandmother's ashes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 561

Today, my best friend has blocked or ghosted me on everything. Why? She showed me her plan for getting her life back on track. I pointed out that her creepy, controlling boyfriend would never allow her to do any of it. Somehow, she took that to mean that I'm in love with her, and that I'm trying to break them up on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 923

You deserved it 125