Health: Today, I stubbed the same toe three times in fifteen minutes....

By Anonymous - 21/06/2014 19:57 - Australia

Today, I stubbed the same toe three times in fifteen minutes. How? My sister moved most of the furniture in the house to the left by a few inches, because she thought it would be funny to watch me get confused and suffer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 559

You deserved it 7 116

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Same thing different taste

Dude! Come on!

By CreeperKiller2000 - 29/05/2017 00:00

Today, I woke up really out of it, and as I was walking into the kitchen, I stubbed my toe on a tile. I sat down, then got up and stubbed the same toe against the table, went over to the kitchen and stubbed the same toe on the same tile again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 075

You deserved it 1 221

To the left of what?

By Anonymous - 21/11/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband moved all the furniture a few inches to the left because he saw online that it makes moving around the house really difficult, and he wanted to test it out. Unfortunately, the one who tested it out was me; I got home, went to sit down, and broke 2 toes on the coffee table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 464

You deserved it 99

By Unlucky - 09/10/2009 19:52 - United States

Today, as I got up from the couch, my computer, which was next to me, fell on to my pinky toe. It fell just so that the edge of it cut my toe open. I cursed, and hobbled toward the bathroom to get a bandage. As I'm going into the bathroom, I stub said toe on the door jamb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 660

You deserved it 4 955

By flipflap - 14/06/2015 06:35

Today, I tried to get a piece of glass out of my big toe. After an hour of poking and prodding, I finally got it out only for it to fall on the floor where I couldn't find it. Not five minutes later, I stepped on it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 326

You deserved it 7 122

Put some steel toe boots on

By TheMadKian - 17/09/2023 10:00

Today, I went to shut the door and ended up banging my toe on my guitar stand; then, as I was getting a snack out of a closet, I banged my toe again on the drawer and now I can't walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 270

Dumb, but relatable

By Maju - 31/10/2019 04:00 - Netherlands

Today, I hit my toe against a table. Out of frustration, I kicked the table and broke my little toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 2 736

Right in the feetsies

By Anonymous - 27/09/2022 00:30

Today, while demonstrating to my wife how I broke my big toe, I broke the little toe on the opposite foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 971

By Anonymous - 17/09/2010 11:36 - United States

Today, I broke my toe. After telling my friend about it, he promptly stomped on it to "see what my reaction would be." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 462

You deserved it 3 515

By erianne - 07/05/2018 15:00

Today, the neighbors heard a blood curdling scream and called the cops, thinking I was being murdered. Nope. I just stubbed my toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 880

You deserved it 611

By Anonymous - 11/05/2009 17:14 - Canada

Today, after a long day of working on my feet, I came home looking forward to soaking my aching feet in a foot spa. When I was pulling the machine out of a closet, it slipped and came crashing down on my feet. It broke. So did three of my toes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 086

You deserved it 4 436

1dvs_bstd 41

Sunday 22 June 2014 0:59

It's simple, we kill the bitch.

rocker_chick105 31

Sunday 22 June 2014 1:00

Your sister is an evil genius

Comments

joshi42 16

Sunday 22 June 2014 19:46

What are you, a Roomba robotic vacuum? Human beings rely on their senses, including eyesight, when moving.

dave20012 15

Sunday 22 June 2014 20:30

I forsee the toilet being flushed as she's showering haha

leetjiej30 1

Sunday 22 June 2014 21:51

Can't you see?

Tawnkat 13

Monday 23 June 2014 2:52

If you are blind, shame on her. However, if you are just stupid, well...

LiliLatte 15

Monday 23 June 2014 3:24

Calm down, Satan

daydreamer244 13

Monday 23 June 2014 6:12

That's completely devious! I would lose my mind xP

cannonman1863 17

Monday 23 June 2014 8:05

That sounds like the perfect prank to pull on someone.

elyx_fml 16

Monday 23 June 2014 14:17

Genius. Simply Genius sis u have

nawee 11

Monday 23 June 2014 14:59

Lovely go sister!

Emila_Sumers 7

Monday 23 June 2014 20:14

Your sister is a genius!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I spent hours cooking an amazing dinner for my family, who had just gotten home from a trip, so we could spend some time together because I'd started to miss everyone. When they got home, they saw it all laid out and just took plates to their room, without even telling me they were home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 273

You deserved it 2 515

Today, my mother and wife are arguing over raising our baby Catholic or Church of England. They’re mad at each other and as a bonus they’re both mad at me because I’m non-religious and genuinely don’t care which made-up religion they try to raise her in, I’m just enjoying being a dad over here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 161

The Top

Today, I received a positive Covid-19 test. Despite being largely asymptomatic, the company I work for decided that I've behaved with "gross neglect" by coming to work in an attempt to support the company's ambition, and promptly fired me with no benefits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 694

You deserved it 1 554

Today, when I woke up, my husband was already up. Thinking I'd heard him in the hall, I yelled out, "Come on, don't be shy, bring your dick back in here right now!" A voice then replied, "He's gone out to get some bread." It was my mother-in-law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 227

You deserved it 18 015

Today, the kid I was tutoring told me that, "Pirates were a myth. Like the Greeks and Romans." He's 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 822

You deserved it 2 832

Today, I was waiting for the bus while wearing my FML shirt. A passer-by stopped, stared at me for a moment, and said, "I agree, your life sucks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 114

You deserved it 58 658

Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. Now she's threatening to kill herself if I don't forgive her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 988

You deserved it 2 119

Today, after pulling an all-nighter for my Bio final at 8AM and drinking 6 sodas, 3 energy drinks, and coffee throughout the night, an hour into the exam, I had to go to the restroom, so I get permission and go. I'm 1 of 3 people. They later find a cheat sheet in the restroom. Now I'm a suspect. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 045

You deserved it 4 374