Love: Today, I swallowed and nearly choked to death on the ring my...

By fecal romance - 23/11/2013 10:32 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I swallowed and nearly choked to death on the ring my boyfriend hid in my wine glass. It's still in me somewhere, and my doctor basically told me that I'll have to "keep an eye on things" if I want to find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 706

You deserved it 5 961

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Ex-Lax Time

By savagepixie - 01/06/2019 14:09

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around, and he thought it would be funny to steal my ring and "pretend" to swallow it. I tried to get it back, but unfortunately I "surprised" him. He reckons I'll get it back some time tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 782

You deserved it 233

By Anonymous - 15/06/2009 01:23 - Japan

Today, I had a horribly realistic dream where I was being robbed and had to swallow my wedding ring to save it. After waking up, I realized my wedding ring is in fact gone. The doctor assures me that I will have it back in a day or two. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 465

You deserved it 4 076

By lectro - 23/11/2008 08:22 - France

Today, I swallowed the piercing that I had bought for my tongue yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 928

You deserved it 31 038

By summerbabe77 - 22/07/2012 03:58 - United States - Medford

Today, my dog somehow managed to swallow a ring that my mother had bought me. Now I must carefully poke and search through each pile of dog crap I find in my yard for the next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 968

You deserved it 2 965

By 50sStyle - 12/06/2017 19:00 - United States - Hartland

Today, during lunch, I choked on my food and possibly came close to death when my boyfriend's best friend performed the Heimlich Maneuver on me, potentially saving my life. My boyfriend then started arguing with me over letting his best friend touch my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 590

You deserved it 417

Panic on the streets of Sydney

By MyPrecious... - 11/03/2015 00:33 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I thought the ring my boyfriend bought for me had fallen off while emptying the trash into the bin. After panicking and emptying a week's worth of rubbish onto the ground, I found my ring safe and sound. On my other hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 859

You deserved it 28 799

By LizGo - 17/11/2013 06:00 - United States - Greenville

Today, after just having used the bathroom, my ring fell in the toilet. After stealthily removing it with a toothbrush, I went to go wash it in the sink. It then fell down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 435

You deserved it 14 698

By Anonymous - 18/02/2013 19:11 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 092

You deserved it 40 037

Drunken antics

By Anonymous - 21/12/2020 14:01

Today, I found out that last night, when I drank a bit too much and blacked out, I freaked out about "losing my tampon in my vagina" and made my boyfriend fish through to look for it. I had already taken it out before then, and was too drunk to realize. He told me he almost called 911. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 1 128

My love language is…

By BlueBirdWings - 31/05/2019 02:30

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. Trying to be suave, he put a Kool-Fruit between his teeth and motioned for me to kiss him so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do so, I inhaled, swallowing it. He then had to watch me dry-retching as I tried to get it back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 495

You deserved it 320

brackaman 18

Saturday 23 November 2013 16:00

Hey, it's what's inside that counts.

Adeptasaurus 12

Saturday 23 November 2013 16:00

I swear, if someone says it...

Comments

Nilorak 24

Saturday 23 November 2013 19:19

What?

skylarnadder 5

Saturday 23 November 2013 19:22

**** you I dont care

johnpaisley 6

Saturday 23 November 2013 19:25

No one can say you are worthless anymore

Facepaww 3

Saturday 23 November 2013 19:25

Oh... That's bad.

jamesr792 6

Saturday 23 November 2013 19:29

What a shitty way to propose

AshaaFerreira 22

Saturday 23 November 2013 19:34

At least it can make a great add on to a wedding speech!!

EmmaMK 35

Saturday 23 November 2013 19:34

At least you will know where it is for the next 24 hours or so. My friend did the same thing, gross, but I bought her a portable kids potty which helped in the finding process.