Love: Today, I talked to my crush for twenty minutes at Wal-mart. Then...

By Anonymous - 10/11/2009 17:53 - United States

Today, I talked to my crush for twenty minutes at Wal-mart. Then I realized I forgot to take off my Weight Watchers meeting nametag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 158

You deserved it 27 294

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Rollymouth - 02/09/2010 01:26 - France

Today, I talked to my crush for half an hour. It wasn't until I was home that I realised I had some remains of the sausage roll I ate an hour earlier spread all over my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 829

You deserved it 8 440

Good bye!

By Anonymous - 19/01/2020 20:00

Today I was walking around the mall and I saw my crush from high school. He came up to me and instead of talking to him I burped, and he just walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 774

You deserved it 739

By Rach - 20/02/2010 13:58 - Ireland

Today, I saw my crush standing at the bus stop. I did the "I'm talking to someone on the phone thing," trying to be cool. Halfway through the conversation my phone actually rang, I quickly answered but it was my mom on loudspeaker yelling, "Did you bring your tampons?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 117

You deserved it 40 787

By sierraisfucked - 02/06/2009 07:55 - United States

Today, I was in Walmart with my mom. I was looking for some CDs I wanted and saw a cute guy. Then he nodded at me and as he started to walk towards me, I hear my name being called over the intercom. Apparently, according to my mom, it was time to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 493

You deserved it 4 199

Fight, flight, or freeze

By Anonymous - 27/08/2023 12:00 - Papua New Guinea - Port Moresby

Today, I ran into someone I'd never had a crush on in school, but because I've realised we have a lot in common, I get nervous whenever I see him. I was so near to him while paying for food that I had an anxiety attack, and had to leave quickly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 293

By hatethatiloveyou - 10/02/2009 00:37 - United States

Today, my crush talked to me for the first time. He told me to stop staring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 942

You deserved it 14 797

By Anonymous - 17/12/2012 00:58 - United States

Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 425

You deserved it 10 267

By rink.attendant.6 - 21/06/2012 15:40 - Canada - Dryden

Today, I saw my crush working the only open till at the grocery store. When she saw me approach her queue, she immediately called for more cashiers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 132

You deserved it 3 605

Cheat day

By Hungry - 03/09/2019 06:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I conveniently "forgot" to write down a bunch of stuff, including a huge kebab, in my Weight Watchers food journal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 2 166

By Neveragain - 01/07/2013 05:49 - United States - Tampa

Today, while at work, a creepy guy blatantly stared at my chest for a good 40 seconds. Finally snapping out of his trance, he said with a wink, "You forgot your name tag." He was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 098

You deserved it 5 423

owlowl 0

Wednesday 11 November 2009 0:12

who cares? if you're fat, he already knows you're fat. now he knows you're doing something about it.

skullet 0

Tuesday 10 November 2009 23:46

so? at least you're trying..

Comments

awesome1145 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 3:03

probably wen u noticed ur like f*ck f*ck F*ck

darknut79 17

Friday 6 August 2010 15:22

YDI for going to Wal Mart.

lostinthelight 0

Tuesday 14 December 2010 9:08

If anything, he probably thought it was a good thing. If you lose some weight, he has something to look forward to.

madgrinchhatter 12

Monday 4 February 2013 14:37

If he's the kind of guy who'd be deterred by the fact that you're watching your weight, he wouldn't have talked to you for that long

Claney 9

Friday 4 April 2014 7:16

Let the WW name tag flaunt! I would! Now he knows you are trying to change yourself for the better :)

vikingchick 22

Thursday 15 January 2015 6:13

YDI for caring about that. If he likes you he won't care. On the bright side at least he should know your name! :)

lilchris0227 4

Thursday 10 December 2015 1:18

so? just means you're trying to better yourself. it's admirable.

fantasyworld 37

Tuesday 28 June 2016 23:15

You're getting help.

404wan 19

Sunday 11 February 2018 20:49

so now he knows your name and that you care about being healthy, double win!

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Awkward Embarrassing Health Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Love Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Gamers

The Top

Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 052

You deserved it 8 438

Today, I tried to talk to my teenage son about healthy masculinity. He said, "Yeah Mom, I know. Lift weights and eat red meat and fish. Can I go?" Not what I meant at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 241

You deserved it 359

The Top

Today, I went over to a guy's house. He had almost no furniture and slept on a mattress on the floor; however, he had the most impressive gaming computer I've ever seen. He's 40. FML

I agree, your life sucks 850

You deserved it 255

Today, I saw a quarter in my poop. My friends say I do stupid things when I get drunk. Apparently, eating change is one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 512

You deserved it 37 050

Today, I got the, "It's not you, it's me" speech for the third breakup in a row. I'm beginning to think that they may not be entirely telling me the truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 045

You deserved it 7 362

Today, at the vending machine at work, I selected a regular soda but a diet soda came out. It turns out the soda I did select was stuck behind the bottle of diet soda. Is the universe trying to tell me something? FML

I agree, your life sucks 564

You deserved it 240

Today, my college charged me for tuition for next semester. I graduated 2 years ago. I have a degree from a place too stupid to only charge current students. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 639

You deserved it 2 346

Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 832

You deserved it 4 700

Same thing different taste

Good bye!

Fight, flight, or freeze

Cheat day

Top comments

Comments