Love: Today, I talked to my crush for twenty minutes at Wal-mart. Then... - FML

By Anonymous - 10/11/2009 17:53 - United States

Today, I talked to my crush for twenty minutes at Wal-mart. Then I realized I forgot to take off my Weight Watchers meeting nametag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 158

You deserved it 27 294

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Same thing different taste

By Rollymouth - 02/09/2010 01:26 - France

Today, I talked to my crush for half an hour. It wasn't until I was home that I realised I had some remains of the sausage roll I ate an hour earlier spread all over my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 829

You deserved it 8 440

Good bye!

By Anonymous - 19/01/2020 20:00

Today I was walking around the mall and I saw my crush from high school. He came up to me and instead of talking to him I burped, and he just walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 774

You deserved it 739

By Rach - 20/02/2010 13:58 - Ireland

Today, I saw my crush standing at the bus stop. I did the "I'm talking to someone on the phone thing," trying to be cool. Halfway through the conversation my phone actually rang, I quickly answered but it was my mom on loudspeaker yelling, "Did you bring your tampons?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 117

You deserved it 40 787

By sierraisfucked - 02/06/2009 07:55 - United States

Today, I was in Walmart with my mom. I was looking for some CDs I wanted and saw a cute guy. Then he nodded at me and as he started to walk towards me, I hear my name being called over the intercom. Apparently, according to my mom, it was time to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 493

You deserved it 4 199

Fight, flight, or freeze

By Anonymous - 27/08/2023 12:00 - Papua New Guinea - Port Moresby

Today, I ran into someone I'd never had a crush on in school, but because I've realised we have a lot in common, I get nervous whenever I see him. I was so near to him while paying for food that I had an anxiety attack, and had to leave quickly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 293

By hatethatiloveyou - 10/02/2009 00:37 - United States

Today, my crush talked to me for the first time. He told me to stop staring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 942

You deserved it 14 797

By Anonymous - 17/12/2012 00:58 - United States

Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 425

You deserved it 10 267

By rink.attendant.6 - 21/06/2012 15:40 - Canada - Dryden

Today, I saw my crush working the only open till at the grocery store. When she saw me approach her queue, she immediately called for more cashiers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 132

You deserved it 3 605

Cheat day

By Hungry - 03/09/2019 06:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I conveniently "forgot" to write down a bunch of stuff, including a huge kebab, in my Weight Watchers food journal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 2 166

By Neveragain - 01/07/2013 05:49 - United States - Tampa

Today, while at work, a creepy guy blatantly stared at my chest for a good 40 seconds. Finally snapping out of his trance, he said with a wink, "You forgot your name tag." He was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 098

You deserved it 5 423

Next

Top comments

owlowl 0

Wednesday 11 November 2009 0:12

who cares? if you're fat, he already knows you're fat. now he knows you're doing something about it.

skullet 0

Tuesday 10 November 2009 23:46

so? at least you're trying..

Comments

GreenDaemon21 0

Wednesday 11 November 2009 4:56

Wearing your nametag is a good thing! it shows you have commitment and commits your time to better your weaknesses! more likely than not he will be more attracted to you!

jane99 0

Wednesday 11 November 2009 5:39

I've submitted better FMLs.

bibbit 0

Wednesday 11 November 2009 6:15

well at least he knows your making an effort to lose weight!

makesfunofyou 0

Wednesday 11 November 2009 6:21

haha youre fat

TheHierarch 0

Wednesday 11 November 2009 6:45

Y'know, if you're fat, he could probably tell REGARDLESS of your nametag. Just sayin'

Noah_h 0

Wednesday 11 November 2009 8:16

chances are your crush already realized you were a fat ass

fireandice27 0

Wednesday 11 November 2009 8:19

Argh I always forget to take off nametags! Everyone always gives me the strangest looks...

Argerkrieger 0

Wednesday 11 November 2009 8:22

Try paying attention and putting down the fork.

ragsy 7

Wednesday 11 November 2009 9:04

Sounds like he works at Wal-Mart? He's the one who should be embarrassed.

Kronic_Kitten 0

Wednesday 11 November 2009 9:28

AWWWW muffin

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Embarrassing Awkward Love Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 63

Today, I came home from the minimum-wage job I suffer through to support my now ex-boyfriend's ailing music career. It seems his time management skills suck almost as badly as his music, because I found him in my bedroom, licking whipped cream off my step-sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 855

You deserved it 4 564

The Top

Today, I had such an intense stomach ache I couldn’t even stand up. I ended up shitting my pants. I’m 13. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 128

Today, I used the phrase "bitch please" in real life. It was funny until the "bitch" bitch-slapped me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 468

You deserved it 34 069

Today, my girlfriend and I slept naked after a great night together. I awoke to a sharp pain in my penis and found our cat trying a new scratching post. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 143

You deserved it 482

Today, my girlfriend posted “Alexa, play 'Flowers' by Miley Cyrus” as her Facebook status, all because I didn’t return her 14 missed calls. Apparently, taking an online proctored exam, which required absolute concentration counts as “talking to other women.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 051

You deserved it 123

Today, I woke up completely deaf, for no reason. My doctor told me my hearing loss, "could possibly be permanent." I’m a composer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 489

You deserved it 83

Today, my girlfriend is still mad at me because I got a MINISO cup and she doesn't have one. I was actually given that mug yesterday as a prize for working the extra hours I was forced to do last week without getting paid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 91