Love: Today, I talked to my crush for twenty minutes at Wal-mart. Then... - FML

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By Anonymous - 10/11/2009 17:53 - United States

Today, I talked to my crush for twenty minutes at Wal-mart. Then I realized I forgot to take off my Weight Watchers meeting nametag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 161

You deserved it 27 301

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Same thing different taste

By Rollymouth - 02/09/2010 01:26 - France

Today, I talked to my crush for half an hour. It wasn't until I was home that I realised I had some remains of the sausage roll I ate an hour earlier spread all over my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 833

You deserved it 8 442

Good bye!

By Anonymous - 19/01/2020 20:00

Today I was walking around the mall and I saw my crush from high school. He came up to me and instead of talking to him I burped, and he just walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 782

You deserved it 750

By Rach - 20/02/2010 13:58 - Ireland

Today, I saw my crush standing at the bus stop. I did the "I'm talking to someone on the phone thing," trying to be cool. Halfway through the conversation my phone actually rang, I quickly answered but it was my mom on loudspeaker yelling, "Did you bring your tampons?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 120

You deserved it 40 804

By sierraisfucked - 02/06/2009 07:55 - United States

Today, I was in Walmart with my mom. I was looking for some CDs I wanted and saw a cute guy. Then he nodded at me and as he started to walk towards me, I hear my name being called over the intercom. Apparently, according to my mom, it was time to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 494

You deserved it 4 203

Fight, flight, or freeze

By Anonymous - 27/08/2023 12:00 - Papua New Guinea - Port Moresby

Today, I ran into someone I'd never had a crush on in school, but because I've realised we have a lot in common, I get nervous whenever I see him. I was so near to him while paying for food that I had an anxiety attack, and had to leave quickly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 298

By hatethatiloveyou - 10/02/2009 00:37 - United States

Today, my crush talked to me for the first time. He told me to stop staring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 945

You deserved it 14 805

Fumbled the ball

By Cathy - 08/01/2025 15:00 - United States - Boulder

Today, I sent a message to my crush saying, “Hey, how are you?” I immediately followed it up with another message that said, “Oops, wrong person,” because I panicked. Now he probably thinks I wasn’t even trying to talk to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 606

Panic!

By Anonymous - 16/01/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I somehow managed to FaceTime my crush instead of texting him. I panicked, dropped my phone, then answered the call with an unflattering close-up of my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 172

You deserved it 357

By Anonymous - 17/12/2012 00:58 - United States

Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 435

You deserved it 10 277

By rink.attendant.6 - 21/06/2012 15:40 - Canada - Dryden

Today, I saw my crush working the only open till at the grocery store. When she saw me approach her queue, she immediately called for more cashiers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 137

You deserved it 3 610

Next

Top comments

owlowl 0

Wednesday 11 November 2009 0:12

who cares? if you're fat, he already knows you're fat. now he knows you're doing something about it.

skullet 0

Tuesday 10 November 2009 23:46

so? at least you're trying..

Comments

GreenDaemon21 0

Wednesday 11 November 2009 4:56

Wearing your nametag is a good thing! it shows you have commitment and commits your time to better your weaknesses! more likely than not he will be more attracted to you!

jane99 0

Wednesday 11 November 2009 5:39

I've submitted better FMLs.

bibbit 0

Wednesday 11 November 2009 6:15

well at least he knows your making an effort to lose weight!

makesfunofyou 0

Wednesday 11 November 2009 6:21

haha youre fat

TheHierarch 0

Wednesday 11 November 2009 6:45

Y'know, if you're fat, he could probably tell REGARDLESS of your nametag. Just sayin'

Noah_h 0

Wednesday 11 November 2009 8:16

chances are your crush already realized you were a fat ass

fireandice27 0

Wednesday 11 November 2009 8:19

Argh I always forget to take off nametags! Everyone always gives me the strangest looks...

Argerkrieger 0

Wednesday 11 November 2009 8:22

Try paying attention and putting down the fork.

ragsy 7

Wednesday 11 November 2009 9:04

Sounds like he works at Wal-Mart? He's the one who should be embarrassed.

Kronic_Kitten 0

Wednesday 11 November 2009 9:28

AWWWW muffin

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The Top

Today, through a mutual friend I met with a girl from Netherlands for dinner. At some point, she told me I have an Antillean accent, referring to the Dutch Antilles. I was born and raised nowhere near those islands, but my former boyfriend of 5 years is Antillean. Now I have his accent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 191

You deserved it 2 506

Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 110 560

You deserved it 48 729

The Top

Today, my mother had a Kitty Party (sort of), and I was in charge of the tea and snacks. I was so busy I didn't pay attention to their discussion. After everything was done, I heard my mother talking about my poop colour and how unhealthy it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 133

Today, I took my wife and newborn baby girl home from the hospital. While waiting for the elevator, an elderly couple leaned over, saw our baby, and said, "Look, it's the fat kid that was in the nursery." My baby is six and a half pounds, and my wife hasn't stopped crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 986

You deserved it 2 916

Today, I was walking into my school and I saw two girls kissing. Being a lesbian myself, and thinking it would be cute, I winked at them. I guess one of them had a history of cheating with a girl who looked just like me, because her girlfriend came up and punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 898

You deserved it 1 210

Today, I've been doing some of the duties of an ex-coworker who resigned a month ago. Now they've given her position to someone else, who doesn't even have the experience all because she "looks the part more." Apparently, I need to "get laser eye surgery, get on Jenny Craig, and buy 'curl tamer shampoo'" to get promoted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 990

You deserved it 141

Today, I've been single for a couple of months. The last time I was single, Tinder and dating apps didn't exist. After figuring out how to be successful with those and setting up several dates, I've already had 3 date cancellations for this week because of the coronavirus. It's going to be a long couple of months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 465

You deserved it 458

Today, I had to have the awkward conversation with my wife of 20-plus years that the reason I’ve lost interest in sex is because our sex life has been mind numbingly boring for at least 15 of those years, always the same positions, never wanting to try anything new, just so boring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 933

You deserved it 1 444