Intimacy: Today, I thought it would be hot if I sent my boyfriend kinky...

By yup - 05/06/2011 07:23 - United States

Today, I thought it would be hot if I sent my boyfriend kinky message. He didn't reply so I sent a few more. 10 minutes later I got a reply saying, "Honey, this is his mom and you should be a little less desperate." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 203

You deserved it 57 245

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Same thing different taste

Crossed wires

By Anonymous - 23/05/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I sent a romantic, flirty text to my boyfriend. A few minutes later, I got a reply from… my mom, saying, “I don’t think this was meant for me, but thanks for making my day awkward.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 242

You deserved it 417

Bad timing

By i'm not psychic, mother fucker - 02/06/2013 20:48 - Sweden - Uppsala

Today, I got a text message while driving home. I checked after arriving, and found it was a kinky text from my boyfriend, so I sent him an even kinkier reply. He later raged at me, because I somehow should have known he was showing off his phone to his mom when I sent my reply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 668

You deserved it 6 641

By McKenna - 16/07/2011 04:10 - United States

Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 369

You deserved it 17 911

Deep fake

By ohtheshame - 02/05/2011 08:34

Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of, "Whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back." Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 963

You deserved it 10 758

Remote sex

By Anonymous - 05/02/2020 05:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 375

You deserved it 351

By Oops54321 - 28/09/2009 07:12 - France

Today, I was feeling really horny. I decided to send dirty texts to my girlfriend. I sent the first and she didn't reply, so I sent more and more and then I got one back saying 'Stay away from my little girl.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 724

You deserved it 33 262

By for my brother in law - 27/07/2016 07:10 - United States - Oxnard

Today, I sent a love message to my wife asking if she was horny. Minutes later, I realized that I sent it to my mother in law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 863

You deserved it 6 770

It's the thought that counts

By come on man - 29/11/2014 17:03 - United States - Sunnyvale

Today, I sent my boyfriend a dirty picture to turn him on. He texted back: "Jfc, why wud u tease me like that?? Srsly fuck off". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 500

You deserved it 7 443

By rileycrash - 20/05/2011 02:08 - United States

Today, I sent my boyfriend a well thought out, steamy, and sexy sext message. His reply? "Three bidders for my drums on eBay! Makiiin' Monaaaay!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 769

You deserved it 6 907

By Rejection - 04/05/2010 07:33 - France

Today, I sent my boyfriend a naughty pic. I then asked him if there was anything else he wanted before I got dressed. His reply? "No it's fine." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 016

You deserved it 15 645

JesusFishTaco 5

Sunday 5 June 2011 19:19

His mom knows what's up.

bandgirrl 9

Sunday 5 June 2011 19:19

that kinda sucks... but ydi. you should've stopped after one.

Comments

kkins 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 19:53

that's not embarrassing at all

braasilianx0 4

Sunday 5 June 2011 19:53

why send a few more if no response was given?

deviable 9

Sunday 5 June 2011 19:55

awesome mom

mylifesucks305 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 19:56

Ouch...that sucks

hatepineapple 14

Sunday 5 June 2011 20:02

Copy/paste the kinky messages or it didn't happen. :)

Skatejock21 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 20:12

YDI

rjflores 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 20:13

you should have told her you were talking to her.

Topygrl21 8

Monday 6 June 2011 8:08

52- ROFLMAO

novakman 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 20:21

nice man boobs

alinka_fml 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 20:22

ya he doesn't have to reply right away. maybe he was busy beating his meat to ****

Freeze_fml 16

Sunday 5 June 2011 20:25

You should have said they were for her. Oh damn, I'm too late.

Keywords

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I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 1

Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 976

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Today, as a gynaecologist, I’ve spent years telling people to be safe during sex. I should have known better, but I let my vagina do the thinking for me in a moment of weakness, had a meaningless anonymous one night stand, and I'm now pregnant and positive for chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 185

You deserved it 714

Today, I told my cousin that I would gladly help him get through the loss of my aunt. That is until he started flirting with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 915

You deserved it 2 684

Today, my coworker brought chocolate muffins to work for everyone. This would have been really nice if they hadn't tasted like rotten blueberry muffins spray-painted brown. I reflexively gagged after taking a bite and coughed up a brown mush in front of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 521

You deserved it 231

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. We all looked together at family photos on the computer. The first picture was a close up of my mother, bare breasts in full view. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 585

You deserved it 3 020

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 164

You deserved it 7 711

Today, I was in a hot tub at a public sauna. After chatting with a friendly couple, I decided to go get some lunch. I was halfway out of the water when the man started laughing and said he'd thought I was a woman. I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 987

You deserved it 2 346