Intimacy: Today, I thought it would be hot if I sent my boyfriend kinky...

By yup - 05/06/2011 07:23 - United States

Today, I thought it would be hot if I sent my boyfriend kinky message. He didn't reply so I sent a few more. 10 minutes later I got a reply saying, "Honey, this is his mom and you should be a little less desperate." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 206

You deserved it 57 252

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Same thing different taste

Crossed wires

By Anonymous - 23/05/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I sent a romantic, flirty text to my boyfriend. A few minutes later, I got a reply from… my mom, saying, “I don’t think this was meant for me, but thanks for making my day awkward.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 243

You deserved it 425

Bad timing

By i'm not psychic, mother fucker - 02/06/2013 20:48 - Sweden - Uppsala

Today, I got a text message while driving home. I checked after arriving, and found it was a kinky text from my boyfriend, so I sent him an even kinkier reply. He later raged at me, because I somehow should have known he was showing off his phone to his mom when I sent my reply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 678

You deserved it 6 641

By McKenna - 16/07/2011 04:10 - United States

Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 378

You deserved it 17 915

Deep fake

By ohtheshame - 02/05/2011 08:34

Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of, "Whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back." Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 977

You deserved it 10 760

Remote sex

By Anonymous - 05/02/2020 05:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 379

You deserved it 355

By Oops54321 - 28/09/2009 07:12 - France

Today, I was feeling really horny. I decided to send dirty texts to my girlfriend. I sent the first and she didn't reply, so I sent more and more and then I got one back saying 'Stay away from my little girl.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 727

You deserved it 33 266

By for my brother in law - 27/07/2016 07:10 - United States - Oxnard

Today, I sent a love message to my wife asking if she was horny. Minutes later, I realized that I sent it to my mother in law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 863

You deserved it 6 771

It's the thought that counts

By come on man - 29/11/2014 17:03 - United States - Sunnyvale

Today, I sent my boyfriend a dirty picture to turn him on. He texted back: "Jfc, why wud u tease me like that?? Srsly fuck off". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 503

You deserved it 7 445

By rileycrash - 20/05/2011 02:08 - United States

Today, I sent my boyfriend a well thought out, steamy, and sexy sext message. His reply? "Three bidders for my drums on eBay! Makiiin' Monaaaay!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 773

You deserved it 6 908

By Rejection - 04/05/2010 07:33 - France

Today, I sent my boyfriend a naughty pic. I then asked him if there was anything else he wanted before I got dressed. His reply? "No it's fine." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 018

You deserved it 15 645

JesusFishTaco 5

Sunday 5 June 2011 19:19

His mom knows what's up.

bandgirrl 9

Sunday 5 June 2011 19:19

that kinda sucks... but ydi. you should've stopped after one.

Comments

RockstarRN 10

Sunday 5 June 2011 20:39

Omg that's funny!! Mom knows best!

AmandaDestroys 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 20:52

teehee(:

mattstive 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 21:03

at least she didn't send kinky messages back.

ohhheyythere91 4

Sunday 5 June 2011 21:15

Awwwkkkwwwaaaarrrrrdddd...

toddlesscott 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 21:15

I've seen this before

IbanezSprinter 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 21:25

desperate and creepy....one is fine, sending a ton of them when he's not answering is weird.

parii 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 21:30

dont be so desperate, problem solved.

Niedermayer_20 12

Sunday 5 June 2011 21:35

Appreciated

babycakess10 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 21:39

well... she's right.

thisdue1775 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 22:29

what's anti-flood protection?

iownyou777 0

Sunday 12 June 2011 21:16

it means your comment was bullsh1t

Keywords

Awkward Love Friends Miscellaneous Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Intimacy Sex Am I overreacting? Poopoo peepee Management Frustration Capitalism Coworkers Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Mental health Health

The Top

Today, I tried reaching out to a brand on Instagram, telling them I'm a rising influencer and would love a free sample of some of their products to review. They replied back with a laughing emoji and "You have 44 followers. Eat shit." Then they posted it on their story, with my name listed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 1 400

Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 885

You deserved it 61 102

The Top

Today, I'm visiting my wife's home country for the first time. To avoid the spicy street food, I bought something labelled "Fruit salad" from a street vendor. I didn't know even Pakistani fruit salad can be very spicy too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 944

You deserved it 362

Today, I was at the store with my kids. My 5-year-old son wanted to carry the milk carton, so I let him. He dropped it and it spilled. I was really embarrassed. Then he decided to get on the floor and lick the milk off the ground. Everyone stared at me accusingly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 292

You deserved it 7 313

Today, I was selling cookie dough for a fund raiser at an old folks home. One lady ordered a box and told me that she loved cookie dough. I told her it'd be here in 4 weeks, she said "Oh I can't wait!". Not really thinking, as I left I said, "I hope you can make it till then!". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 109

You deserved it 66 791

Today, my cell phone service was interrupted because I owed the company 27 cents. It cost 36 dollars to reinstate my service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 132

You deserved it 11 261

Today, I went to the hair salon. When I got home, my three-year-old daughter told me I looked like Dora the Explorer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 158

You deserved it 5 902

Today, I went to the surprise birthday party of an ex I still love, though I'm the one who ended things. I walked in in time to see her screaming "Yes" to her kneeling boyfriend, her parents crying and applauding, and her brothers patting him on the back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 204

You deserved it 52 034