Miscellaneous: Today, I thought my family would like it if I celebrated the...

By Anonymous - 01/01/2010 10:29 - United States

Today, I thought my family would like it if I celebrated the new year with them. My brother thought that I'd like him to shoot my butt with his new gun in celebration. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 099

You deserved it 2 720

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/01/2013 06:12 - United States - Amelia

Today, my brother thought New Year's would be more epic and memorable if the fireworks were set off in the family room and not outside. It is memorable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 321

You deserved it 3 606

By Birthday Surprise - 26/05/2014 21:18 - United States - Fayetteville

Today, my parents thought it would be a great surprise to accidentally shoot me in the leg for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 644

You deserved it 4 993

By Anonymous - 24/08/2009 15:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and his parents met my family. My grandpa thought it would be funny to walk around with a realistic gun and make references about being in the mafia. The rest of my family went along with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 505

You deserved it 5 413

By nsb124 - 28/01/2015 08:07 - United States

Today, it was my brother's birthday. I was short on money but got him a present anyway. After opening it, he looked at it and said, "I didn't really want this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 810

You deserved it 2 828

By Notre_Dame_714 - 08/04/2015 21:17 - United States

Today, I went to the gun range for a birthday and got shot in the foot by my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 464

You deserved it 4 445

By Nick Nameous - 01/01/2009 06:22 - United States

Today, I celebrated the new year. Alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 236

You deserved it 5 316

By Anonymous - 03/01/2011 11:18 - United States

Today, I was at my friend's house. We were looking at her dad's guns, and I was explaining gun safety and how you should never put your finger on the trigger. I then shot a hole in the floor of her house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 365

You deserved it 44 969

By iusedprotectionanyway - 21/03/2014 21:44 - New Zealand - Waitakere

Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 233

You deserved it 3 513

Gun control

By Anonymous - 17/07/2021 10:59

Today, I took my 15-year-old daughter to our local shooting range for her birthday, as she requested. While she was setting up a target in front of me, I jokingly pulled the trigger and shouted, "Think Fast!" not realizing that the safety was off. I shot my daughter in the arm on her birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 4 329

By myfamilyisodd - 15/10/2011 17:05 - United States

Today, I had to take my son to the emergency room for shooting himself in the ass with a BB gun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 480

You deserved it 5 234

daydreamstar 7

Friday 1 January 2010 16:25

now thats a pain in the ass...

Peroxide 3

Friday 1 January 2010 16:49

I like how you people bring in the new year. I personally like to celebrate the new year by chopping my arm off as a nice "**** you" to the universe.

Comments

airforce987 20

Friday 19 February 2010 4:17

yeah, I agree. I have a similar christmas story from a year ago. except I was the shooter :)

turtles1321 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 9:37

yummy

tchaikovsky93 0

Monday 16 August 2010 16:06

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

tjs77 0

Monday 27 September 2010 4:51

In_wonderland... If you h8 ppl here go back to ur own ******* country

cokyspaniel 0

Thursday 14 April 2011 15:33

if by gun you meant dick and if ur bros gun, or dick, was new, then was he.........

cokyspaniel 0

Thursday 14 April 2011 15:35

if the gun was real though, get well soon

dark5259 1

Friday 15 April 2011 20:08

exactly! Only in america do we have so many rights and privileges! God bless America!

spcmonkeyzzzz 1

Friday 10 June 2011 16:51

did you died?

c0wz_g0_quack 3

Sunday 7 August 2011 16:29

^lol

garfield224 0

Sunday 11 September 2011 22:05

Way to go rednecks

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The Top

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He knows that I love when he breathes on my neck. Just when I was about to finish, he put his lips a millimeter away from my neck and ear, and breathed, "I love how you smell like my grandmother's house." FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 810

You deserved it 9 769

Today, my girlfriend went on a date with her mechanic. She said it was to get discounts when she goes in for maintenance. Not only does she not see a problem with it, but she's probably getting discounts on other services too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 740

You deserved it 5 265

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try “things” while under the influence. I suggested he go down on me; he thought about it for a second and then said, “I would, but I don’t want to get scared when I take a look.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 834

You deserved it 274

Today, I was working in the yard and took off my shirt. My neighbor yelled, "Nice tits!" I'm a dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 310

You deserved it 462

Today, I went into the bathroom and got angry upon finding that once again, no one had bothered to put on a new roll of toilet paper. And then I remembered that I live alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 880

You deserved it 21 305

Today, a woman pushed a stroller in front of my car. Thinking I'd hit someone, I jumped out. Turns out it was a doll. The "woman" was a 14-year-old girl, claiming, "I did it for the Vine!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 770

You deserved it 4 389

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she could not stand the thought of being in a relationship with a man who wears orange. This is the first time I've worn an orange shirt in at least 6 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 394

You deserved it 3 653

Today, I was talking to a guy I met on a dating site, and he asked if we could meet up and what we should do. When I suggested ice-skating he told me he was in a wheelchair, so I said we could go for a walk instead. I realised my mistake the moment I sent the message. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 111

You deserved it 2 180

Same thing different taste

Gun control

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