Intimacy: Today, I thought the girl I was seeing was going to tell me that...

By FuckThis - 31/08/2015 13:16 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I thought the girl I was seeing was going to tell me that she loved me. Instead, she told me how she sucked some other guy's dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 343

You deserved it 2 543

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/11/2010 05:20 - United States

Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 626

You deserved it 4 799

Gender bending

By Recluse - 21/11/2014 18:18

Today, the girl I'd been dating online for 6 months told me she was a guy. I said it was alright, and that I was still in love. Then she confessed she really was a girl, and was just trying to make me dump her so she wouldn't be the "bad guy". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 669

You deserved it 7 589

By FML - 02/02/2009 18:27 - United States

Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 810

You deserved it 10 198

By Anonymous - 27/01/2016 17:11 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, my girlfriend told me she loved me for the first time. Unfortunately, it was her way of saying that she didn't want to lose me after cheating on me yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 746

You deserved it 1 491

Miscommunication

By Anonymous - 25/10/2012 05:45 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 709

You deserved it 18 568

By gircos - 30/04/2014 00:10 - United States - Westerly

Today, I learned my girlfriend was cheating on me. After giving her a second chance and meeting her parents for the first time, her father said at the dinner table, "I like the other guy better." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 326

You deserved it 7 313

By Anonymous - 16/04/2009 00:13 - United States

Today, I had dinner with the girl I thought I would end up marrying. Everything was going well and after I had paid the bill, she said she was a lesbian. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, she challenged me to see who could hook up with a straight girl first. I lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 673

You deserved it 7 421

By tman - 14/10/2010 08:24 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after being "pressured" into a relationship with another guy. But it's okay, she said she would think of me every time she made love to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 470

You deserved it 3 338

I will always be in her thought

By Anonymous - 17/11/2019 18:00

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after being "pressured" into a relationship with another guy. But it's okay, she said she would think of me every time she made love to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 272

You deserved it 226

Size Queen

By Anonymous - 05/10/2021 05:00

Today, I was hooking up with a girl, but when she got my pants down, she got mad and left, saying she was gonna kill her sister who lied to her about me having a large penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 555

You deserved it 197

petethelovehorn 19

Monday 31 August 2015 18:35

Tell her you hope she chokes on it

rileyrae0000 23

Monday 31 August 2015 18:34

I hate to be one of THOSE FML commenters, but I think it's time to dump her

Comments

Inuyasha843 12

Monday 31 August 2015 19:49

I'm going though that to with my wife telling me how she ****** her ex and all I'm sorry man u will find better just leave now and don't look back

firecracker5 11

Monday 31 August 2015 19:59

She saved you ...honesty has to count for something

japktm 3

Monday 31 August 2015 20:30

ddamn

kattykat1 13

Monday 31 August 2015 20:49

"I love.....sucking dick"

NineeCat 32

Tuesday 1 September 2015 9:46

Me too!! Oh wait....you were being funny...hahahaa umm yea.. *sinks in shame*

mbock 15

Monday 31 August 2015 20:51

use this to your advantage sir!!! she sounds like a ***** so treat her as such!!!!

ty4nier 16

Monday 31 August 2015 20:56

Well that blows. Sorry OP

bsmallz3 12

Monday 31 August 2015 20:58

Im sorry man, your life sucks. hehe get it

japktm 3

Monday 31 August 2015 21:12

do something bad too:-)

DeathofCareBear 21

Monday 31 August 2015 21:14

Have her suck your dick then tell her you're through with her.

simply_meeeee 26

Monday 31 August 2015 21:31

It sucks to suck :/

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were three girls loudly discussing blowjob techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was, "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 371

You deserved it 29 703

Today, I called back a number I'd recently missed a call from. To my surprise, it was my boyfriend's fiancée's number. I've been with him four years, he's been with her for six. Turns out, not only is he a cheating jerk, but technically I'M the other woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 135

You deserved it 4 975

The Top

Today, I saw my boyfriend spitting the mouthwash back into the bottle, because, "this stuff is really expensive." FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 42

Today, my car alarm went off so I went outside to investigate. Apparently, the abundant rain water in my street had swept a trash can five houses down, only to be stopped by my car. My bumper was dented by a run-away waste receptacle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 413

You deserved it 2 585

Today, I hooked up with a guy I know from the gym. This dude is built like The Hulk, over 6 feet tall and almost 24 stone. We were really getting into it when he slipped and his whole weight went onto my knee, which bent completely the wrong way and dislocated everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 625

You deserved it 134

Today, my mom found out that I got a tattoo two years ago. She got mad and spanked me. I'm 33 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 002

You deserved it 501

Today, I called a taxi after a night of partying. When it arrived, I realised I had no cash, so I told the driver I'd quickly grab some from an ATM. He made me leave my phone with him as collateral in case I was pulling a prank. He drove off the moment I turned my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 589

You deserved it 15 067

Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 966

You deserved it 42 053