Intimacy: Today, I told my boyfriend I was horny and was waiting for him...

By Anonymous - 04/06/2015 12:26 - United States - San Bruno

Today, I told my boyfriend I was horny and was waiting for him at my place. 30 minutes later, he still hadn't arrived, so I called him and asked if he was coming. He replied "Already did, right into a kleenex." and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 538

You deserved it 4 447

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Same thing different taste

By that girl - 08/04/2014 23:06 - United States - Bessemer

Today, I was feeling horny, so I told my boyfriend, who lives 30 minutes away, that "I really needed him". He replied, "Did you fall in the toilet again?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 252

You deserved it 12 662

Quickie

By Anonymous - 11/02/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, when my boyfriend came over he was on his phone. We spent about 15 minutes together before having sex, then he made a phone call and said he had to leave. I could hear him from my window apologising to his coworker because he “just had to do something real quick but was now free to talk again.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 158

Remote sex

By Anonymous - 05/02/2020 05:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 379

You deserved it 353

Steamy

By DreeStahr - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Liberty

Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 063

You deserved it 1 447

Break time

By Samantha K - 19/10/2020 20:08

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he stopped and got dressed. Naked and confused, I figured he’d be right back. Yeah, 20 minutes later with a plate of food for himself. So much for sex. It would've been nice if he told me though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 606

You deserved it 207

By Anonymous - 07/09/2016 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I called my boyfriend and asked if he wanted to come watch a movie. He seemed eager, until I said I needed the company because my period had started. He then went dead silent, waited a few seconds before starting to fake-snore, then hung up on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 456

You deserved it 2 118

Hello everyone!

By Anonymous - 18/04/2020 08:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were sexting, and he asked me if I would be naked and waiting for him when he got home. When he told me he was on his way, I took my clothes off and got into bed. What he didn’t tell me was he was bringing friends to pick up a desk from our place for their office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 085

You deserved it 373

Riverdale is a lie

By that1summergirl - 19/09/2019 12:00 - Canada

Today, I called my boyfriend at 2 a.m., telling him I couldn't sleep. He replied, "Well, I can," and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 840

You deserved it 2 959

Do me

By noneofthesex - 10/02/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, I sent a text to my boyfriend saying, "Come over and do me." He never responded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 535

You deserved it 12 157

By Anonymous - 14/04/2014 03:17 - United States

Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 978

You deserved it 7 874

MyNameIsLaughter 18

Friday 5 June 2015 7:20

Next time he comes on to you, just pull out a box of Kleenex and walk away

lexiieeex3 32

Friday 5 June 2015 7:15

Well that's inconsiderate of him...

Comments

Mindashy 13

Friday 5 June 2015 17:09

I guess someone isn't getting laid tonight...

Sathane 21

Friday 5 June 2015 17:13

A guy should come running every time you offer to spread your legs?

Drnknmonkey08 12

Friday 5 June 2015 17:23

I don't see how this is an fml, maybe if you guys lived together it would be more of one. he probably just like a quickie or didn't want to drive just for sex. hell girl you have a hand too! just be thankful he didn't cheat!

izzajaneful 24

Friday 5 June 2015 20:26

Maybe if you want him to come over you should actually wait for him to respond to the text before expecting him to show up. Personally I think it's kind of rude to send a text and assume someone is going to drop whatever they are doing and rush to your house.

leogachi 15

Friday 5 June 2015 20:43

To be fair, you don't know that they weren't talking on the phone.

apcsox 18

Friday 5 June 2015 21:57

You mean your "ex boyfriend" right??

JKPwnage 27

Friday 5 June 2015 22:05

Well, you kind of deserve it for assuming he's always up for sex. If the genders were switched, it would be all YDIs.

limabeans101029 20

Friday 5 June 2015 23:58

Not true. I hate how people keep trying to twist every single FML to make it about sexism. In this case, if the genders were reversed, I'm pretty sure the general response would be exactly the same. It's not the fact that he isn't up for sex which makes him a dick, it's the fact that he was so rude about it.

Tannasgh 22

Friday 5 June 2015 23:05

Why are you dating this guy?

zarrganaut 17

Friday 5 June 2015 23:10

What a nice boyfriend you have there.

ndnpride88 25

Saturday 6 June 2015 0:15

Sounds like he prefers his relationship with PAMELA HANDERSON AND HER 5 FRIENDS. ?

Drnknmonkey08 12

Saturday 6 June 2015 0:44

I don't see how this is a fml situation. I could understand if you lived together. maybe he just didn't feel like driving over just for sex, and possibly just wanted a quickie. at least he didn't cheat on you! you have a hand too!