If my boyfriend told me he wanted to get married within 5 years I'd be happy. If he mentioned kids too, I'd freak out. Not kick him out, but freak out. Not only do I not want kids, but giving such a small time limit for two big steps in a relationship can be scary.

That means he's not ready good riddance

I think he agrees

Been dating the same guy for four and a half years (hs sweethearts and now in college). Two years ago if I had said that he would have panicked too unfortunately :( Now? We're both on board with marriage when we finish school and kids before we're old enough it gets difficult (mid 30's). Too much at once? Yeah, I could seem him getting scared. Sorry OP

could be worse my gf of just under a year spent over a decade with a guy who kept insisting that he wanted to get married and have kids...she says the first few years were great then they started talking about marriage and kids and he just seemed to slowly shut down and not show any interest in anything but the TV over the next few years but kept insisting he would buy her a ring and they'd get married when he could afford it but was spending all his money on new toys for himself and then she just stayed cause at that point everything she owned was more they owned and she felt stuck then she started seeing her friends get married and having kids while her life progressively became more and more about whatever was on TV, so she left...had to start over with just the bare minimum she actually owned now that we've started seriously talking about where we're going she's worried her best child birthing years are behind her and it'll be really difficult to get pregnant and have that family...so maybe him showing you the door was the least cruel thing he could do in that respect.

How could you be with someone for 3 years without ever talking about that kind of stuff? I mean, I'm sorry you got dumped so harshly but . . . if neither of you ever felt comfortable enough to bring it up before you probably didn't have a great relationship anyway.

At least it happened now - it was 10 years here. You now know he's not the right one and you got the chance to move on!

Guys want their independence and eat their cake, it's a man thing. If they really love you the news won't be heartbreaking. Sorry to hear Op. Good luck.

I have to agree with your (assumed) ex. Some people just don't want marriage and/or kids at all ever. That doesn't make them less of a person at all to want to leave you if your "must wants" include things he doesn't want. And maybe he does want marriage, but he thinks 8 years is too soon to tell. Yeah, you can say "8 years is a damn long time", but some people just want to take it really slow. I see nothing wrong with that.

he could've handle that way better then he did , have you two dicussed marriage and children before? at least now you can move on and waste anymore of your time , i hope youre okay OP. perhaps in the next relationship ask what their views on marriage and kids are before you start to become more serious .