Intimacy: Today, I told my girlfriend's father that I wanted to talk about...

By stoopidpoop - 05/02/2010 00:29 - United States

Today, I told my girlfriend's father that I wanted to talk about his daughter. I then went on to tell him I was thinking about 'popping the cherry', instead of 'popping the question'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 047

You deserved it 13 808

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Same thing different taste

Great, just great

By Norwegian - 02/06/2012 16:55 - Norway

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 063

You deserved it 7 478

By Tonguetied0496 - 10/12/2012 07:21 - United States - Claremont

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 880

You deserved it 7 413

By talkssuck - 30/03/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, I was hooking up with my girlfriend when her dad knocked on the clear door that leads to the room. About 5 minutes later both of her parents came in to give us the "talk" which included the first time her parents did it. In detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 474

You deserved it 18 538

By Anonymous - 22/07/2010 06:44 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's father sent me a text message that simply stated "You ruined my relationship with my daughter." I wanted to ask him for his blessing to marry his daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 028

You deserved it 3 400

By mydadsgonnakillme - 08/02/2013 07:13 - United States - Santa Barbara

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 562

You deserved it 12 438

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By Vinny1017 - 07/10/2010 14:26 - United States

Today, I asked my girlfriend's father if I could marry his daughter. He smiled, shook my hand, and said "No. Now get out of my house." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 419

You deserved it 4 852

By Anonymous - 29/11/2014 21:54 - United States - North Adams

Today, I asked my girlfriend's father for permission to take his daughter's hand in marriage. He asked me "Which one?" I said "Uh, the one I'm dating... Lisa." He belched and said, "Yeah sure, throw 'er off a cliff for all I care. Piss off, boy." So much for chivalry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 492

You deserved it 3 747

By Anonymous - 16/11/2013 00:10 - Australia - Ascot Vale

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents, despite my long-standing protests. Over the next hour, they asked her if she'd ever considered becoming a swinger, why not, if she'd ever consider it in future, and to keep them in mind if she does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 501

You deserved it 3 107

By ihateguys - 26/09/2014 19:13 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I heard my boyfriend talking with my father in the backyard. I thought he was asking for my hand in marriage. He was actually telling him about his plans to break up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 967

You deserved it 4 007

By BadLuckCarson - 12/02/2013 05:55 - United States - Muscatine

Today, I had my girlfriend over for dinner with my family. My father had dressed up as a girl for a recent gig of his at a local pub. This got somehow brought up at the table. The rest of the dinner conversation consisted of him and my girlfriend discussing bras and lingerie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 793

You deserved it 3 732

elegantlywasted1 3

Friday 5 February 2010 9:24

hopefully her dad doesn't have a big gun collection

ambrz 0

Friday 5 February 2010 9:23

ehh doesn't have to be that big of a deal I'm sure you'll laugh about it when your married years later remenising... :)

Comments

ckilla421 0

Wednesday 28 September 2011 7:07

Open mouth, insert foot.

Jeffers123 5

Tuesday 27 December 2011 17:40

Smooooth

Killuhk 8

Thursday 10 May 2012 8:13

Awkward........ -_-

ShananaginsLOL 13

Monday 31 December 2012 21:14

Hahahahahahahah omg that's awesome

IronicDreamer169 8

Monday 26 September 2016 20:57

There are Freudian slips, and then there are these. YDI, man.

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Today, I found out my husband’s former mistress is going to be at Thanksgiving dinner. Why? Because his idiot brother married the tramp AFTER the affair came to light. So now not only is the whore my sister-in-law, she’s being included in every family gathering henceforth. Fuck this family and… FML

I agree, your life sucks 590

You deserved it 180

Today, my allergies flared up and I started sneezing. I guess my girlfriend was having a bad day, because she lost her shit and started telling me how annoying I am and how I can never do anything right. I'm not sure if we're still a couple, because she stormed out and won't answer my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 014

You deserved it 3 325

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Today, my brother and I were nearly made homeless by a good friend and roommate, because after repeatedly leading on my brother, and admitting she’s disrespected me all along, she and her boyfriend took off suddenly without a word of notice, leaving us to a house we can't afford alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 113

Today, I returned from my first paid vacation in the past 2 years from a place with no cell, or internet. I've just found out that our department has been downsized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 309

You deserved it 2 713

Today, my guy friend told me he wanted to try being with another guy. I told him I’d help him anyway I could. Who knew his “help” was him wanting me (a woman) to help him get hard since he couldn’t get it up for the guy? Guess not letting him grope me or jerk him off meant I’m unsupportive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 486

You deserved it 262

Today, my husband was 45 minutes late to our wedding reception. Later, when I asked him why, he said, "I was playing Legend of Zelda and had to finish my quest." He thinks this is an eligible excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 053

You deserved it 997

Today, it's the third night in a row that I have had a sexual dream involving another woman. I'm married and when I tried talking to my husband about pleasing me better, he told me he doesn't want to go down on me because it makes him nervous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 613

You deserved it 373

Today, I gave a beautiful book of baby names to a friend of mine who's been trying to get pregnant for a while. She just burst into tears when she saw it. Just before meeting me, she'd found out she was sterile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 304

You deserved it 7 277

Same thing different taste

Great, just great

Traditional

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