Her being abused by her husband is her fault? Can you please explain how, because my mind just can't ******* wrap around the amount of stupidity.

she's obviously looking for attention if her own mother likes her husband more than her

@26 Honestly, if I were in your situation I would never speak to my parents again. That fact that you keep your parents in your life is shocking and appalling.

Trigger warning, if abused you may not want to read this... 31, there's a difference between sex happening consensually and forcefully, even in a marriage. Just because sex has happened once does not mean it is owed whenever one partner wants it. Many women with abusive partners (and presumably men as well, though I have less data on that unfortunately) will say no because they're feeling unwell, tired, or just not in the mood. If a partner's response is to hit the woman, take her by the throat until she loses consciousness, and then do what he wants to her, I think that's fairly obviously rape. It doesn't matter if sex has happened a hundred times, using physical force is always rape. In less obvious terms, coercion is still rape. A man may accuse his wife of cheating if she doesn't want sex one night; he may threaten to leave her, emotionally abuse her, keep pressuring until it's easier to give in than to keep saying no. Coercion is coercion, regardless of marital status, and many women who experienced both physical abuse and sexual abuse have reported that the sexual abuse was more damaging than the physical abuse; a woman who experiences sexual abuse in her relationship often takes much longer to recover and deals with much greater difficulty than a woman who is abused but does not experience sexual coercion or physically-forced rape. I mentioned in a different comment the book "Why Does He Do That?" If you're unclear on this topic, it could be immensely valuable for you to read it even if only to get a grasp of what can be unhealthy in a relationship and where lines are crossed from unpleasant to abuse.

Just because you're with someone doesn't mean you always want to have sex with them. When I'm mad at my husband I generally don't even want to talk to him for a good hour. Sometimes, libidos just don't match up. The male might have a higher libido or the female might. Either way, in abusive relationships frustration is sometimes taken out on the victim in the form of rape. Sometimes the sex starts out as consensual and then it gets to a level of discomfort that is not ok with one of the participants. Once that participant says no or stop and the other keeps going or starts forcing themselves upon the other, it becomes rape. That's why BDSM participants have a safe word. If your partner says no that means no, female or male. Consent must still be there in a relationship.

Rape is forced sex. It doesn't have to be continuous rape, you can sleep with someone and them rape you. As soon as that person says no, if you continue or try to force it, or use something like drugs or alcohol to make them unable to think in their usual state of mind to take advantage of them, it's rape.

People are not obligated to have sex whenever their partner wants to, whether they are married or not. Sometimes a person just does not feel like it. Being married is not about sex. It is about commitment.

#31 Are you fully primed and DTF 24/7? Because no one on Earth is. He forced himself on her when she didn't want that kind of intimacy for whatever reason. Just like any other kinds of rape except with the added pain of knowing and loving your rapist.

I'm sorry you had to suffer that pain, #26.

Sex has to be consensual. Married or not. No means no.There may be times when you really don't want to have sex. It is is forced the one who forced it needs to heed the consequences.

This is going to be long, so forgive me ahead of time: It's fine, thanks for the support. I took no offense from the question, it's actually a very common question asked of those like me. I hope that your question was answered with what was said. They are correct. I was really struggling at the time and had no confidence to leave and look for someone else who'd treat me right. So I foolishly stayed all the way until the end. For a long time, I hated myself for not leaving him and being so pathetic that I just let him take advantage of me. I was in a very similar mindset as you 31, I didn't think domestic rape was a thing. I thought this is just how it's supposed to be, we are a couple we should have sex. But I know now that domestic rape is a thing. That what he did was unforgivable and wrong. Now I don't think I'm so much a moron like I originally thought, I just think, psychologically, I was so broken I didn't see rationally. But something finally clicked, and I finally had the courage to move on. I don't know how it worked out, but almost instantly I got the luckiest break. I met someone so kind and understanding it made me cry. I have a new appreciation for things from my experience, so I'm not entirely bitter about the whole ordeal (I still have some problems, like I suffer from PTSD and panic attacks, I even was agoraphobic for a short time). Yes, it hurts that my parents are being selfish, but I've suffered through worse, what they say doesn't hurt me anymore. The only reason I keep them in my life however, isn't because I want to, I have to. Due to my panic attacks I'm unable to work and I don't have enough money to afford getting diagnosed with a disorder that keeps me from working. So I can't file for disability. I have to live with my parents otherwise I'd be homeless. I can't live with my partner either as his living situation is complicated. So, I'm currently focusing on one thing at a time. I'm overcoming my panic attacks the best way I can. It has been going pretty alright, but I still have a lot of work ahead of me. I'm in the process of trying to find an understanding job and am having little luck. Okay, done, that was really long, sorry.

Your parents should have realized that you were telling the truth, #26, because you certainly must have had outward signs. By the way, did you know that your body can release chemicals that cause you to have drowsiness or other bad things happen because of a proximity to thing associated with something terrible that happened to you? The body may associate, say, drowsiness with a certain person because they drugged you once. So, the body develops a habit of it. That may be a reason for your sadness, as you said as comment/reply #66. So, your sadness may be a result of something your ex-husband did. If he caused you to feel overwhelming sadness because of his actions, that may be the reason you felt so sad. Just a thought.

67, I'm afraid you're mistaken, in my original statement (comment 26) I said my parents didn't care, not that they were in denial or in disbelief. Also, thanks for the little tid bit; however, I'm already aware. See, many articles explain what a victim can do to better their lives, and leaving the "crime scene" is definitly at the top. I cannot leave my home at the moment, as I said previously. I'm without a job and cannot afford a home. So there isn't anything I can do except focus on getting better to the point that I can work.

Sorry, had no clue. Thanks for the tip.