By jessroses - 31/03/2016 13:36 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I took my boyfriend's advice and finally stood up to my very passive-agressive, rude mother. What started in a conversation about her snide comment about my outfit ended in me needing to find somewhere else to live. FML
I agree, your life sucks 21 272
You deserved it 3 253

jessroses tells us more.

jessroses 8

OP here So didn't expect this to make the front page but to clear up a few things I'm 19, my boyfriend also lives with his parents and I live away from home in a town about 2 hours away, but my usual hangout bar is in my hometown so on the weekends and holidays I come home and make use of the bed. So mostly I've moved out. We had gotten into a very loud row which turned into mum (for the umpteenth time) bringing up how I'm never home and what happened to the sweet little girl that told her everything. I've explained time and time again that I didn't have friends then and Now I'm balancing a social life in 2 places, and spending time with family, which I admit I haven't been spending as much time with her, because once I moved out I could see her from a distance and see how manipulative she is. I have also tried to see mum less and less because I thought that's just where my life was headed. Being the youngest child means it's difficult for mum to let go. However, I have been her punching bag for the past few years, always making passing comments about my weight (I am obese, as is she) and the clothes I wear. I came out as bisexual to her and she doesn't believe me because I have a boyfriend and told me to keep it from the rest of the family. So yeah, I'm trying to get out of the situation, but my boyfriends family are not doing well financially so I would rather not move in, as well as its a relatively new relationship (just under a year)

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Top comments

jlang917 14

It's probably better that you get out of that situation OP! Take this opportunity and try to find somewhere that you feel safer and better.

249 2
booman342 13

Whether you like them or not, you just have to deal with what they say until you move out.

159 41

Comments

jessroses 8

OP here So didn't expect this to make the front page but to clear up a few things I'm 19, my boyfriend also lives with his parents and I live away from home in a town about 2 hours away, but my usual hangout bar is in my hometown so on the weekends and holidays I come home and make use of the bed. So mostly I've moved out. We had gotten into a very loud row which turned into mum (for the umpteenth time) bringing up how I'm never home and what happened to the sweet little girl that told her everything. I've explained time and time again that I didn't have friends then and Now I'm balancing a social life in 2 places, and spending time with family, which I admit I haven't been spending as much time with her, because once I moved out I could see her from a distance and see how manipulative she is. I have also tried to see mum less and less because I thought that's just where my life was headed. Being the youngest child means it's difficult for mum to let go. However, I have been her punching bag for the past few years, always making passing comments about my weight (I am obese, as is she) and the clothes I wear. I came out as bisexual to her and she doesn't believe me because I have a boyfriend and told me to keep it from the rest of the family. So yeah, I'm trying to get out of the situation, but my boyfriends family are not doing well financially so I would rather not move in, as well as its a relatively new relationship (just under a year)

65 1
ulissey_fml 22

Kudos to you for being honest about yourself. To me you sound mature and lucid for a 19 years old. Good luck with your life.

83 1
simsgirlgem 25

she does know that Bisexual means you're attracted to both genders right?

38 1
InfiniteSunshine 32

You seem like a really good, level headed person, I'm sure everything in this situation will work out ok. It sounds like you should just have some space from you mom for a little while, show her that how she treats you is wrong, and that if she has nothing nice to say about you, she can just keep it to herself. Also, because when she gets mad, she threatens and takes away your security (kicking you out), which is wrong and immature. If you have to make or go through with threats to win a disagreement, you have no leg to stand on and didn't actually win the disagreement. Maybe some space will also help her realize how much she underappreciated and misses you as well. In any case though, a toxic person is a toxic person, just cause they're your parent, doesn't mean you have to put up with them being unfair and mean, parents aren't an infallible authority and you're allowed to stand up to them. I hope everything goes well for you, OP, I wish you all the best!

44 1
fohfuucba 21

Accidentally downvoted, sorry! Hopefully having those friends means you'll be able to crash at someone's until you get back on your feet...

4 4
DeadxManxWalking 27

so you already live somewhere

0 0
sweetbliss3 37

I'm so confused. so do you live with her or not? or is she just saying you cant stay with her on weekends when you go visit? bc if it's just weekends when you visit I don't see why you can't stay with the boyfriend and just give them a little extra cash for food etc.

2 0
DoomedGemini 37

Some people think if you haven't dated both genders you aren't bisexual. It's sad, but they seem to feel like you have to prove your sexuality to them for some reason.

4 1
EwahWeeWah 21

She sounds piss ignorant and uneducated for many reasons, how does being bi and having a bf = not bi??? Her logic is impeccable (not).

2 1
kakarot26 7

its a good thing . taking shit for no reason dosent make sence .

1 5
Smelly_Ellie 16

I was in a similar situation with my mum. I eventually moved in with my boyfriend and his grandad and have been for over a year now. my mum is an alcoholic and would turn very aggressive when drunk to the point she got angry and gave me a fat lip when I had a friend over when I was 16. I really hope your situation improves! x

9 0
itzzzzz_alpop 12

I agree, that sucks. Hopefully you will now be able to live a better life without your mother.

1 0
Ri_Fox9 9

Honestly, you deserve it. you should respect your mother, especially if she puts a roof above your head.

0 31
InfiniteSunshine 32

It's called mutual respect, if her mom is being mean and rude,insulting and judging her appearance and character, then her mom is being disrespectful to her and she does not have to put up with it. Just cause a person provides for you, doesn't mean they're allowed to treat you badly.

2 0
InfiniteSunshine 32

It's called mutual respect, if her mom is being mean and rude,insulting and judging her appearance and character, then her mom is being disrespectful to her and she does not have to put up with it. Just cause a person provides for you, doesn't mean they're allowed to treat you l

0 0
InfiniteSunshine 32

When a person lords control over you threatening your security, it's controlling, manipulative, and emotionally abusive. If a significant other who is the sole provider were to do this, just because they provide their spouse with "a roof over their head" it would be considered wrong. But with the situation where it's ok if it's a parent to their children it's somehow ok? No, this is wrong and a disgusting way to think.

4 0
queen_lego 21

Mine with my mom went from talking about cat food to a yelling match about my drug use and her suspicions of me relapsing even though it wasn't true to me sleeping in my boyfriends truck

1 0
dakoster4 1

She was abusing you with her words, having to move out sucks, but it's better to get away from that if you can either way.

1 0
valdania 18

the exact same thing literally just happened to me but it was my aunt that kicked me out

0 0
NyxAstrid 2

It's a good thing you left. I wish I could do the same but I can't since I can't afford to move into an apartment near my college. So I am just going to have to wait till I find a better job.

0 0