By jessroses - 31/03/2016 13:36 - Australia - Melbourne
I agree, your life sucks
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jessroses tells us more.
OP here So didn't expect this to make the front page but to clear up a few things I'm 19, my boyfriend also lives with his parents and I live away from home in a town about 2 hours away, but my usual hangout bar is in my hometown so on the weekends and holidays I come home and make use of the bed. So mostly I've moved out. We had gotten into a very loud row which turned into mum (for the umpteenth time) bringing up how I'm never home and what happened to the sweet little girl that told her everything. I've explained time and time again that I didn't have friends then and Now I'm balancing a social life in 2 places, and spending time with family, which I admit I haven't been spending as much time with her, because once I moved out I could see her from a distance and see how manipulative she is. I have also tried to see mum less and less because I thought that's just where my life was headed. Being the youngest child means it's difficult for mum to let go. However, I have been her punching bag for the past few years, always making passing comments about my weight (I am obese, as is she) and the clothes I wear. I came out as bisexual to her and she doesn't believe me because I have a boyfriend and told me to keep it from the rest of the family. So yeah, I'm trying to get out of the situation, but my boyfriends family are not doing well financially so I would rather not move in, as well as its a relatively new relationship (just under a year)
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bad_boyfriend
10
Speaking from experience, that is almost always the result of standing up to your parent about comments they make to you. The best you can hope is that once you have you financial independence they see the error of their ways. It literally took almost a year of me hanging up the phone every time my mother mentioned my weight for her to realize that I was serious about not being interested in her opinion. In the end our relationship is better for it.
That's one of those FML 's where I wish I knew the other half of the story. Especially if you are dependent on your parents, it's normal that your parents expect you to speak with respect to them even if you disagree. It can be difficult to deal with that situation, but it does give you an incentive to work your way toward independence. If you became verbally or physically hostile it might be reasonable that you got kicked out. On the other hand if you were reasonable and controlled your temper in the discussion and your mom did that then she is the unreasonable one and it's a real FML situation. Either way, it's time to earn your independence with a job and your own place to live.
Did you miss the part where the OP was standing up to her MOTHER being disrespectful? If the OP wasn't an angel about it that is still no reason to think they deserve to be kicked out. I don't get the idea that some people have that the child is required to be emotionally mature and in control but the parent is not. The parent is the parent. They need to be able to control their temper, if they don't it's not the kid;s fault for provoking them.
If that led to her kicking you out, you're better off putting some distance between you two.
You can have all the freedom and demand all the respect you want *and* can afford to pay for on your own. Can't afford your own place? Gotta put up with some stuff.
We have part of one side of the story. "emotional punching bag" is a bit of a stretch based solely on the OP's comments.
Maybe emotional punching bag is a stretch, but it still does not mean that the OP has "to put up with" her mom being rude and mean to her. The OP isn't asking her mother for the world, she only wants basic respect with politeness. Which should be afforded to everyone, regardless of the circumstance or if a person is relying on the other person. Being in a position of authority does not give you an excuse or right to be an asshole, and you shouldn't be surprised when people stand up for themselves against you of you're like this.
I would like the other side of the story as well. I'm also curious as to how old OP is. I'm hesitant to say FYL or YDI. OP could be making a bigger deal out of things than what really happened and misunderstanding the mother. If things really are bad and your mother isn't a good parent, sorry OP. I hope you find a better place to stay and that things get better for you.
That is very brave from you... If the price is to leave then seems like the best thing for you.... Good luck
Your mother sounds exhausting :( No one deserves that treatment. Speaking from experience, it's so incredibly draining and confusing at the same time. How can someone you expect to love you treat you like complete shit :/
Maybe finding your own place will be a positive thing. My relationship with my mother improved a lot when she couldn't take it for granted that I would stick around to be her emotional punching bag and my confidence increased without the steady dose of negative comments.
your boyfriends place should be a perfect place for this since he kind of is responsible for it
Dude, I completely understand about rude mothers. I am so sorry that happened to you. Try to crash at your boyfriend's place?
That's probably for the best. Emotional abuse is no joke
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It's probably better that you get out of that situation OP! Take this opportunity and try to find somewhere that you feel safer and better.
Whether you like them or not, you just have to deal with what they say until you move out.