Intimacy: Today, I took my girlfriend out to a restaurant for her birthday....

By Anonymous - 05/01/2014 01:08 - United States - Chicago

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a restaurant for her birthday. She had to go to the toilet while there, and when she came back, she was crying. When I asked why, she said "I'm on my period!" and sobbed loudly in front of everyone that we couldn't have birthday sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 270

You deserved it 7 011

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By turriblebday - 17/12/2009 15:35 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend took me out to dinner. While at the restaurant, she went to the bathroom. She was then escorted out of the restaurant for having sex in said bathroom. I was sitting at our booth the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 973

You deserved it 2 597

Alexa, play "Don't Go" by Yazoo

By nexus - 22/09/2021 04:00 - Papua New Guinea

Today, my girlfriend is on her period. She hugged me, crying because she was going to miss me. Where was I going? To the store down the street and back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 864

You deserved it 163

By Nico711 - 30/03/2019 02:00

Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 446

You deserved it 210

By phuckbukket7 - 27/04/2014 22:08 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a fancy restaurant for her birthday. I'd arranged beforehand for some of the staff to come out and sing happy birthday to her, but it all backfired when she started panicking and had a serious anxiety attack from all the attention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 670

You deserved it 8 730

By bathroomseww - 12/05/2009 07:19 - United States

Today, I went out to a nice restaurant for my friend's birthday. I went to the bathroom and heard the woman in the other stall crying. She couldn't pull her underwear up over her obese, old-lady ass because her arms don't reach that far anymore. I was the only one there. I had no choice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 162

You deserved it 12 404

By nhyari - 25/08/2014 18:58 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, my girlfriend got her period. It seemed more painful for her than usual, so I offered to go out and buy some painkillers and maybe some chocolate for her. She thought I was being sarcastic and slapped me so hard I saw stars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 161

You deserved it 4 168

Gross out competition

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 429

You deserved it 4 058

By jgboy - 14/09/2014 15:32 - United States - Franklin Park

Today, I took my girlfriend of a year out on a date, a nice fancy dinner and a movie. After dinner, I said that I was feeling sick and just wanted to go home. I didn't have the heart to tell her that dinner was so expensive that I didn't have money for the movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 190

You deserved it 9 510

By Anonymous - 13/11/2009 00:05 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 454

You deserved it 8 860

Where d'you go?!

By Anonymous - 27/09/2009 05:16 - United States

Today, I thought it would be nice to take my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for my birthday. She got a little headache after we ordered, so she went outside to get some air. I ate a $100 meal and had Happy Birthday sang to me by the restaurant staff. Alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 673

You deserved it 3 565

EternalRest 5

Sunday 5 January 2014 10:03

At least you know she was looking forward to having sex with you?

metallica_wins 20

Sunday 5 January 2014 10:02

Well, hormones are a bitch.

Comments

Laith 12

Sunday 5 January 2014 10:27

Handjob would help!

DotDootyDot 17

Sunday 5 January 2014 10:37

It's HER birthday, why would she give pleasure to him alone?

Kizeree 2

Sunday 5 January 2014 10:27

Period sex has been some of the most sex ever!

zandalee 19

Sunday 5 January 2014 10:37

I agree. Is weird but true. :-)

KinkyCurly 13

Sunday 5 January 2014 10:40

I hate when that happens. I feel your gf... being on your period sucks! And although some people don't mind.. some of us others just don't get turned on with the idea of having sex while on our periods. I have no problem with those who do, it just doesn't float my boat.

kaytasha 18

Sunday 5 January 2014 19:29

Statistics show that women are more horny when on their periods

oneofthosegirls_fml 11

Sunday 5 January 2014 20:10

Well, those statistics are obviously bullshit if you just read the comments.

LowExpectations 30

Sunday 5 January 2014 21:33

.... My girlfriend gets incredibly horny on her period... Guess I'm just lucky.

Zebediabolical 39

Sunday 5 January 2014 22:30

About 80% of the girls and women I've been with have been significantly hornier on their periods. I guess you just fall into the other 20%.

poisongirl708 11

Monday 6 January 2014 12:38

Agree it does float with me either and is super disgusting

AmorVitae93 6

Sunday 5 January 2014 10:41

why.. not?

simplylove 3

Sunday 5 January 2014 10:47

is it an fml because you were embarrassed or bc you can't have birthday sex?

gracehi 31

Sunday 5 January 2014 17:28

Both.

xerbrus 14

Sunday 5 January 2014 10:57

i used to have birthday sex just like you but then i took an arrow to the knee. forgive the outdated reference was just thinking i hadnt heard one of these in forever

Rainhawk94 27

Sunday 5 January 2014 15:24

It hasn't been used for a reason

PattonGilette2 18

Sunday 5 January 2014 11:02

Faff 20

Sunday 5 January 2014 11:04

That's kind of sweet actually

sourgirl101 28

Sunday 5 January 2014 11:16

Did you start crying too?

DjeePee 24

Sunday 5 January 2014 11:18

And why didn't you comfort her by telling her she would get something? If you're not dirty of blood; put a towel under her and have sex anyway. If you are, tell her to put a tampon in and give her a hand/mouth job.

Gittoh 21

Sunday 5 January 2014 13:01

eeeeeeew. Dont give a girl on her period an oral! that is just creppy. blood can still get out if she bleeds enough, plus the vag will still smell like period. But sex under the shower would be ok!

limabeans101029 20

Sunday 5 January 2014 18:28

Some guys just aren't into that. If he doesn't want to have sex while she's on her period, he shouldn't have to. It's understandable. Also, she might not necessarily have wanted to either- I find it annoying when I can't have sex because of my period, but I still wouldn't do it even if my boyfriend offered