Transportation: Today, I took my grandmother for a spin in my new car. Apparently,...

By BOOP - 17/02/2012 13:25 - United States

Today, I took my grandmother for a spin in my new car. Apparently, she had no idea that seat-warmers exist and that hers was turned on, because fifteen minutes into the ride she started shouting, "My ass is on fire!" causing me to swerve into a pole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 577

You deserved it 7 718

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Same thing different taste

By karmaaa - 16/10/2014 20:56 - United States - Huxley

Today, I was driving with my grandma and she was going 30 over the speed limit. To slow her down, I said, "Hey look, the police". She slammed on the brakes so hard I hit my head on the dashboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 844

You deserved it 17 753

By arw - 25/07/2012 06:10 - United States

Today, I was with my grandma in my new car. She suddenly says, "I've got to pee bad." Without giving me enough time to find a gas station, she blurts out, "Never mind, I just did." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 896

You deserved it 2 000

By ambled - 24/12/2011 20:04 - United States

Today, I had to share a car with my dad and stepmother. My stepmother managed to get hammered at lunch and spent the hour-long car trip drunkenly mistaking the heating controls for the radio. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 577

You deserved it 2 339

Happy Feet

By Anonymous - 12/10/2019 00:01

Today, an old lady rear ended my car the light. Her explanation was, "It's a new car, and when I take my foot off the break, it just rolls forward all on its own! I don't know what's wrong with it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 761

You deserved it 105

By Anonymous - 10/10/2009 17:53 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother said she trusted me enough to go with me for my first drive in my new car. As soon as we got in the car, she started hyperventilating and screaming we're going to crash. I didn't even start the engine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 062

You deserved it 2 923

That's on you

By eldar90 - 25/02/2012 21:38 - Israel

Today, while waiting for my grandmother at the train station, a girl walked out and climbed into my car. When I cleared my throat to tell her of her mistake, she screamed and ran out as if I was a criminal trying to abduct her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 133

You deserved it 2 397

By Courtney - 21/07/2011 09:54 - United States

Today, I found out my grandmother has severe road rage after she complained about Pennsylvania drivers for over an hour, then decided to rear end one because he wouldn't get out of her way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 991

You deserved it 2 739

By W1D0 - 20/08/2011 06:23 - United States

Today, while riding in the car with my mother, we got into an argument, at which point she pulled the vehicle over, took the key out of the ignition and used it to turn off the passenger airbag. She then continued driving in silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 093

You deserved it 5 029

My old buddy

By Rian - 12/08/2023 14:00

Today, I climbed into my junky old car and was pleasantly surprised that the AC came on. I patted the dash and said, "Thanks, buddy." Ten minutes later, as I was tearing down the highway, the engine threw a rod. FML

I agree, your life sucks 674

You deserved it 106

By fuckingjesusgran - 07/05/2013 22:13 - Bosnia and Herzegovina - Sarajevo

Today, while driving my grandma home from a family dinner, I had to pull into a gas station, because my tank was almost empty. She became convinced that someone would kidnap her while I went to pay, and eventually threatened to blow us up by tossing her lighter at the gas pumps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 193

You deserved it 3 563

DocBastard 38

Friday 17 February 2012 18:53

That was no seat warmer - grandma had pooped herself.

iseyixes 18

Friday 17 February 2012 19:04

You should definitely not be driving if you don't know how to keep control of the wheel just because the passenger shouted. I'm glad it was a pole and not a person.

Comments

bubo_fml 10

Saturday 18 February 2012 1:11

Sounds like Granny's gotta *removes sunglasses w/a saucy wink* HOT ASS!

sarah1741 3

Saturday 18 February 2012 1:21

id laugh if she did that on purpose but didnt think it through :P

Big_Chives 7

Saturday 18 February 2012 1:24

Last night I kept trying to make a website for woman drivers...but it kept crashing...

ravenxcorvinus 9

Saturday 18 February 2012 1:26

LOL good grief..

OHai15 12

Saturday 18 February 2012 1:35

seat warmers?? Bump that, Im chillin wit mah Snuggie..... :3

jdance447 0

Saturday 18 February 2012 3:33

Haha thats funny!

ruby_belle00 3

Saturday 18 February 2012 3:50

I laughed myself silly when I read this! I really thought you were going to say that she peed herself though. Having her yelling so unexpectedly would have scared me pretty good too, especially if it was quiet to begin with. Hope no one was hurt.

EdmundTonne 3

Saturday 18 February 2012 4:23

You're an idiot. What kind of moron drives into a pole when grammas ass is on fire. Were you drunk? Is she ok?

xxCandyKissxx 1

Saturday 18 February 2012 4:29

Omfg! That's really scary..ye funny! I hope everyone's ok :D

crazyblackchick 0

Saturday 18 February 2012 5:20

"My ass is on fire" is a direct quote from the cartoon playing in Final Destination 4 after the rasict dies. This means death is after you. RUN, GODDAMMIT.