Kids: Today, I took my wife and newborn baby girl home from the hospital....

By mickey1928 - 12/01/2010 13:10

Today, I took my wife and newborn baby girl home from the hospital. While waiting for the elevator, an elderly couple leaned over, saw our baby, and said, "Look, it's the fat kid that was in the nursery." My baby is six and a half pounds, and my wife hasn't stopped crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 975

You deserved it 2 910

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Same thing different taste

By notpreggo - 01/05/2017 12:00

Today, I was taking my 3-month-old nephew for a walk in his stroller, when a lady stopped me to coo over him. Then she patted my stomach and said, "Don't worry, you'll lose the baby weight soon". I've never had a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 002

You deserved it 701

By Anonymous - 01/11/2010 17:30 - United States

Today, I drove to the hospital to see my newborn. I went to the room, picked him out of the crate and held him. Then I heard the toilet flush and saw a woman who I didn't know come out. She screamed. My wife was in the room next door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 496

You deserved it 10 376

Get out

By Lennyr - 28/08/2016 06:36 - United States - Union City

Today, I gave birth to my firstborn child. Somehow, my mom and mother-in-law made their way to the delivery room, and walked in mid-push. While they were escorted out, I overheard my mother-in-law asking the nurse how her son, my husband, was holding up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 559

You deserved it 1 099

By SocietyToday - 27/08/2017 13:00

Today, I was grocery shopping with my older sister. An elderly couple passed, and the man pointed to my sister, saying, "She LOVES to eat." My sister is 7 months pregnant, and I had to spend the next hour comforting her as she bawled her eyes out because of an off-hand comment from a stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 101

You deserved it 306

Comedic timing

By Anonymous - 15/11/2021 16:00 - United States - Knoxville

Today, while at a family baby shower, my grandfather thought it would be funny to inform me, in front of everyone, that I had gotten fat. I'm 7 months pregnant and the baby shower was for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 030

You deserved it 177

No refunds

By Anonymous - 18/09/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, after my 4 year-old was so excited to be a big sister, hugging my belly every chance she got, counting down the days till the due date, my son was born this morning. She took one look at him and declared, “I don’t like him, leave him here, do we have to keep him?” then started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 131

By me - 06/05/2013 00:56 - United States - Floresville

Today, my 6-year-old daughter walked into the bathroom where I was grumbling about my weight. Seeing how upset I was, she took my hand and said, "Mom, you're not fat. You just look fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 562

You deserved it 6 965

You have been warned

By anne - 17/06/2017 22:00

Today, I happily told my husband I'm pregnant. He happily informed me that very, VERY large babies run in his family, and even though he was born 3 weeks early, he still weighed 15 lbs. The smallest baby to ever be born into his family was his great grandmother, who was 12 lbs. OH GOD, THE PAIN. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 264

You deserved it 809

By Pudgymom - 21/10/2016 02:08

Today, I ran into an old friend at the store with my infant daughter. As we caught up, she assured me that I could get rid of all my baby weight from the pregnancy. If only I had actually been pregnant. My wife carried her and looks fantastic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 430

You deserved it 1 736

By Anonymous - 14/02/2015 02:43 - United States - Titusville

Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 292

You deserved it 3 537

RobotSox 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 20:06

You should of replied "Look, its those wrinkled prunes that go around insulting newborn babies". That'll teach them ;DD

idkweird 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 20:05

How is this an FML? The chubby babies are usually the cutest and the healthiest. Fat babies are the best.

Comments

CoolHipDude 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 5:58

Old people are stupid fucktards with shit for brains. In retaliation, you should "innocently" trip them which is what they deserve.

mcal2013 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 6:05

I was 8 lbs 11 ounces wen I was born...im not a fat kid. 6 lbs is normal

xxXChiiXxx 2

Wednesday 13 January 2010 6:53

Your baby IS NOT FAT. Babies are supposed to be that way. It could be worse, she could've been really underweight. I weighed 1 lb, 14 ounces (not kidding) and was about 12 inches long. (insert obvious TWSS joke here) But seriously, I'm sure she'll grow up to be very healthy. Congrats. :3

Doosam94 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 7:00

LOL

angelinnocent 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 7:37

I'm a girl and I weighed over 9 pounds at birth. Now I'm teenager, five foot seven, and I wear a size zero. Don't worry, all babies are fat, it's part of what makes them so adorable :)

ohjeez123 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 8:21

"Baby." World Book. 2001 Edition. Chicago: World Book, Inc., 2001. "The average weight for a baby at birth is 7.5 pounds (3.4 kilograms)." Your baby is small, not fat...

BurningUp 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 8:58

there was a study that proved that fat babies are smarter..so good for the cute kid

Lenicka 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 9:26

Your wife´s hormones are still crazy that is why she is crying, don´t worry. Besides every baby is kind of fat..its cute :-).

emyle11 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 11:27

If they were actually being serious, you should have clocked em both. Or at least told the geriatric ***** that the Angel of Death was coming for them any day now... That woulda done it. But chances are the couple was just being sarcastic, or using the term "fat" in a different context, like "cute and chubby."

DanielleTheOne 3

Wednesday 13 January 2010 11:50

dont attack me coz im not saying all of them, but some old people are just SO rude! i was in the city and my friend and i were half way across the street when the light went red, and as long as your on the road your entitled to finish crossing and this old ladies like "ITS RED U IDIOTS!!!" my friend and i turned around and saw that she was an old bag and we were like wow wtf?