Kids: Today, I took my wife and newborn baby girl home from the hospital....

By mickey1928 - 12/01/2010 13:10

Today, I took my wife and newborn baby girl home from the hospital. While waiting for the elevator, an elderly couple leaned over, saw our baby, and said, "Look, it's the fat kid that was in the nursery." My baby is six and a half pounds, and my wife hasn't stopped crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 979

You deserved it 2 914

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Same thing different taste

By notpreggo - 01/05/2017 12:00

Today, I was taking my 3-month-old nephew for a walk in his stroller, when a lady stopped me to coo over him. Then she patted my stomach and said, "Don't worry, you'll lose the baby weight soon". I've never had a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 008

You deserved it 701

By Anonymous - 01/11/2010 17:30 - United States

Today, I drove to the hospital to see my newborn. I went to the room, picked him out of the crate and held him. Then I heard the toilet flush and saw a woman who I didn't know come out. She screamed. My wife was in the room next door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 499

You deserved it 10 378

Get out

By Lennyr - 28/08/2016 06:36 - United States - Union City

Today, I gave birth to my firstborn child. Somehow, my mom and mother-in-law made their way to the delivery room, and walked in mid-push. While they were escorted out, I overheard my mother-in-law asking the nurse how her son, my husband, was holding up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 562

You deserved it 1 102

By SocietyToday - 27/08/2017 13:00

Today, I was grocery shopping with my older sister. An elderly couple passed, and the man pointed to my sister, saying, "She LOVES to eat." My sister is 7 months pregnant, and I had to spend the next hour comforting her as she bawled her eyes out because of an off-hand comment from a stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 105

You deserved it 308

Comedic timing

By Anonymous - 15/11/2021 16:00 - United States - Knoxville

Today, while at a family baby shower, my grandfather thought it would be funny to inform me, in front of everyone, that I had gotten fat. I'm 7 months pregnant and the baby shower was for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 033

You deserved it 177

No refunds

By Anonymous - 18/09/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, after my 4 year-old was so excited to be a big sister, hugging my belly every chance she got, counting down the days till the due date, my son was born this morning. She took one look at him and declared, “I don’t like him, leave him here, do we have to keep him?” then started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 139

By me - 06/05/2013 00:56 - United States - Floresville

Today, my 6-year-old daughter walked into the bathroom where I was grumbling about my weight. Seeing how upset I was, she took my hand and said, "Mom, you're not fat. You just look fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 565

You deserved it 6 966

You have been warned

By anne - 17/06/2017 22:00

Today, I happily told my husband I'm pregnant. He happily informed me that very, VERY large babies run in his family, and even though he was born 3 weeks early, he still weighed 15 lbs. The smallest baby to ever be born into his family was his great grandmother, who was 12 lbs. OH GOD, THE PAIN. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 266

You deserved it 810

By Pudgymom - 21/10/2016 02:08

Today, I ran into an old friend at the store with my infant daughter. As we caught up, she assured me that I could get rid of all my baby weight from the pregnancy. If only I had actually been pregnant. My wife carried her and looks fantastic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 436

You deserved it 1 737

By Anonymous - 14/02/2015 02:43 - United States - Titusville

Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 295

You deserved it 3 537

RobotSox 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 20:06

You should of replied "Look, its those wrinkled prunes that go around insulting newborn babies". That'll teach them ;DD

idkweird 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 20:05

How is this an FML? The chubby babies are usually the cutest and the healthiest. Fat babies are the best.

Comments

gigi2009 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 2:19

aww :(

alex1432 9

Wednesday 13 January 2010 2:21

I was thirteen lbs...

SeventhFonons 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 2:27

Ahaha, I was six pounds and twelve ounces when I was born, and my sister weighed like over seven. And I actually asked my mom this question, who replied with my birth weight and stated that "you were actually a fairly small baby when you were born". So I hope that makes you feel better 8D Congrats on the baby btw~

sportsnut 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 2:36

that is horrible...just make sure you get your wife back to normal so she doesnt give the kid an eating disorder

Darraghscoot 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 2:37

one word "hormones"

ImaginaryFoe 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 2:43

Was your wife crying because she thinks your daughter is underweight? I know I was always concerned my baby wasn't going to gain weight. Either way those people are rude but insignificant. And I hope you wrote this out of concern and not just to bitch about having a weepy wife. The hormones should level off in a few days and if she is still easily upset, get her help; it could be PPD. In the meantime FYL. A crying wife and a (presumably) crying baby can't be fun to live with.

ineedahug 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 2:44

Oh wow. That kinda sux. And babies aren't always "fat". My daughter was born 6 pounds and 14 ounces. She was very tiny. Those old people must have been blind or just cruel. People are so dumb. Tell ur wife to get over it. They'll die soon enough. That and honestly, is it really something worth crying that bad over anyways? Feel sorry for ya. Hormones are bitches