Love: Today, I took the biggest, most excruciatingly painful crap of...

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By Anonymous - 22/03/2015 14:59 - United States

Today, I took the biggest, most excruciatingly painful crap of my life. It was so bad that I couldn't walk straight for a good 20 minutes afterwards. Long enough for my boyfriend to film me limping around and post the clip to Facebook with the caption "#anal ftw ;)". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 924

You deserved it 4 162

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 21/06/2012 17:43 - Canada - Toronto

Today, after having been constipated for ages, I finally forced out a week's worth of build-up. The excruciating pain reduced me to tears, and my boyfriend refused to drive me to the hospital, because according to him, I must have had anal sex with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 819

You deserved it 3 073

Pain in the ass

By Anonymous - 17/06/2021 22:01 - United States - Greenville

Today, I awoke to an excruciating pain in my back from sleeping in the same position all night. I can't wipe my own ass. I've already gone to shit twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 128

Quick Stop

By poopy pants - 08/04/2013 01:47 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I was driving home from a friend's house after a night of partying. Suddenly, I had to poop worse than I ever had to in my entire life. The pain was so bad I had to pull over and pretend to be checking my tires while I let out the entire contents of my bowels onto the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 380

You deserved it 8 737

Humpty Dumpy

By traumatized - 12/04/2014 18:07 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 451

You deserved it 9 415

By Anonymous - 15/08/2015 09:32 - Canada - Prince George

Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 851

You deserved it 5 084

Sitcom vibes

By Anonymous - 16/11/2013 19:31 - France - Paris

Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 405

You deserved it 48 878

By Numbass123 - 04/05/2014 17:17 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 455

You deserved it 11 659

By fulloshit - 28/11/2010 02:17 - United States

Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 076

You deserved it 4 598

You need more fiber

By Anonymous - 30/04/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I finally got over having constipation for two days straight. It came in the form of a normal-sized, rock-hard turd that made me scream "Ow!" when it came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 115

Looks like we made it… Oh.

By Anonymous - 12/10/2020 23:01 - United States - San Jose

Today, I went on a walk with my family because I'm trying to be more active. We were near my son's school when I got a grumbling in my stomach. I rushed to find a place to take a dump. As I approached a Porta-Potty, my ass couldn't hold it any longer and I shit myself 20 feet away from the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 339

You deserved it 201

EverettA 16

Monday 23 March 2015 0:20

Take a picture of him when he's holding his crotch and say #circumcision_ftw

lowkeybelieber 7

Monday 23 March 2015 0:13

He kind of ****** you with that post

Comments

martin8337 35

Monday 23 March 2015 3:55

BF, boyfriend or butt ******.

2retz 11

Monday 23 March 2015 4:52

I feel for you, is embarrassing. but at the same time, this made me laugh. my apologies

thatnewgirl 16

Monday 23 March 2015 4:54

I kinda wanna watch this now.

CandyApple88 13

Monday 23 March 2015 5:03

1. Your BF is a jackass 2. add a lot of fibre into your diet so your BF doesn't have a chance to do that again.

HollyPolly 19

Monday 23 March 2015 5:21

Oh my goodness I would best him

HollyPolly 19

Monday 23 March 2015 5:26

beat him*** AndI know how men can be OP. Can't live with em, can't kill em.

LevyLove 17

Monday 23 March 2015 5:49

On the bright side it seems like you two are very comfortable with each other so I would probably laugh about the video... Later though. But I would be upset he posted it to FB. Gotta get him back for that one!